Oh My Love's

Traumatizing

Depressed and high levels of anxiety. Every now and then, staring at the mirror to say a sentence of cursing yourself at the terrible events of the time. The trembling in the body did not disappear at all, making it difficult for me to calm down even a little. Fear still haunted my mind, feeling that this body had been betrayed and was no longer safe. It felt like a wound, but there was no blood.

Often holding my own skin, especially the lips, the excessive feeling of disgust makes me even more frustrated. Nausea, dizziness, so burdening physically and mentally. Staring to and fro, like I was being watched until I became paranoid.

The world is getting crazy. Why as a victim, precisely who bears this anxiety? My life feels chaotic, as if it would be better to die than to be imagined by that misfortune.

Holding both cheeks by hand, and starting to scream hysterically until clawing using nails involuntarily. There was no pain, only a feeling of disgust that enveloped violently. All the things that are visible to the eye, I throw in all directions. Yelling and cursing, that's all I can vent.

"Lia!" Sasha appeared behind me suddenly, holding back strongly but not hurting. "Relax ...."

"Disease, disgust!" racauku for a number of times while rebelling from Sasha's defense. "Please, I don't want this."

Sit down and cry. Sasha helped me up and took me to bed. Spontaneously, I jerked my hand, then pushed it and clawed back at my own cheek.

"Disease, disgusting" I screamed frontally. "Please .. help me!"

"I'm here to help you" whispered Sasha, who approached me with a blanket to limit our touch.

A little calming when slightly hugged by him. However, the occasional scream spontaneously appeared which made Sasha have to increase her patience to calm me down.

"I brought you some porridge, look at this." Sasha stood up, picking up a bowl of porridge she had placed on a tray on the nightstand near the door. "I made it myself."

Chicken porridge decorated with an arrangement of carrots, mementos, peas and yellow sauce. Suitable is called a puzzle because the arrangement of the topping is very neat. Although it looks delicious, there is no appetite to eat it. My hand itched to throw the bowl, but I held it as hard as I could.

"I've already told our parents this matter." His hands scooped the porridge. "The scoundrel will be taken care of legally and will probably enter the children's yard if this suit is successful."

Can't do. Supposedly, he was thrown into jail generally, not a child's prison which is certainly a light sentence. He must feel the suffering I am experiencing.

"Come, open your mouth." A spoonful of porridge with steam on it started to get closer to my mouth by Sasha.

My head turned its eyes and began to claw back at my cheeks.

Sasha held both of my hands in one hand, holding me back from injuring myself. Then, back to the spoon.

"Don't want to porridge?"

I shook my head slowly.

"All right, just a spoonful. Then, I won't force you to eat anymore" he asked softly. "Come, open your mouth ...."

Just once, I think it's okay. My mouth welcomes the porridge and enjoys the sensation of delicacy that is so different from the manufacture of porridge sellers in general.

"Come, one more time."

Because I feel jaim, my head is shaking.

"One more time, Lia. Come on." Comeon." Sasha's voice sounded clear and made me open my mouth again. "good. Let's open our mouths again."

"Once again, then I won't force you to eat for the night" he said with a soothing smile. "Come, open your mouth again."

I don't know what magic changed me, the reflex of my mouth opened and again accepted the bribe. Until finally, the whole bowl ran out without me noticing.

At first, it was unthinkable to me how much Sasha would bother to take care of me. Often his parents took care of me and not infrequently emotions overflowed to embarrass themselves. In my brain, only anxiety and anxiety are mixed up. I'm tired like this too.

Under these circumstances, Sasha also had to go to school. He had to go home as soon as possible, sometimes I saw him get to the apartment with a breath of breath like after running around. On a normal day, he always leaves early. However, this time it became often too late just because of me. It was so bothered, but never once did his mouth complain.

"It's time to clean the body" Sasha said as she exited my room, then returned with a basin containing a thought of water and cloth. "Can you be alone?"

When I tried to pick up a wet cloth without being squeezed, it fell down and soaked the floor of the room. Sasha took the cloth, rewetting it and squeezing it.

"Want me help?" ask him lethargicly. "No need to take off your clothes. When you're done, then change your clothes that must be a little wet because I wipe with this cloth."

In between the shrouded and heavily dressed body, Sasha's hands began to creep on my back with a cool wet cloth.

"Thank you for trusting me" he murmured as he continued to wipe me without touching the sensitive area.

Hands, feet and face. It all keeps on and feels a little fresh. After that, Sasha picked up my clothes and sleeping pants from the closet, then gave them to me.

"I'm going outside, put this on."

He immediately went out from before me and closed the door tightly. While my eyes had been staring at a suit of clothing without the section **********. My breath was lightly stifled, thinking how good Sasha was in keeping my feelings from being embarrassed without taking my private object.

While changing clothes, I looked at my skin and started to feel disgusted again. For almost an hour I spent trying to calm down and managed to fully put on clothes.

At night, Sasha took me to the couch and took me to watch television with a comedy movie. Earlier, I was given a low-dose sedative from a prescription psychologist who had diagnosed me.

"Sweet foods will make your mood better. Therefore, I made you this pearl porridge." A glass of pink pearl porridge was brought by Sasha to me. "Let's eat. Any minute. My mom and dad are coming, they'll be happy with you spending this."

I curled up and turned to him directly. "Have they succeeded in demanding justice for me?"

From the beginning, I kept waiting for a fair retribution from the trauma I had. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons for excessive anxiety.

"Just wait. After you recover, good news will surely be present," replied Sasha who did not give up on thrusting a spoonful of pearls.

"But ..he comes from a rich family! He would definitely hire a good lawyer to escape this entanglement!" rengekku while pulling his own hair until Sasha hastily prevented. "I. .. I don't want to keep going like this."

"No, Lia ..." Sasha held my hand. "Trust me."

Depression to lure to hurt yourself. There is no stopping word without being prevented by a person or a single grain of medicine. Only the cycle kept turning in my daily life.

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