My Husband is a Ningrat

Chapter 75. [I have to how? ]

Said 'Sudjiwo Tedjo', women love chocolate and ice cream, but women prefer certainty. Like me, a woman needs certainty. What I should be like in the future. Pretending not to know everything, to witness new facts that I know from others. Or, I have to find out for myself other facts that I do not know about the Kaysan family.

What might be the purpose of Kaysan choosing a major in culture and history is to open his own facts that he hid. If it's like that, who should I complain to, Mother? Nah! If I complain to Mother the same way I cultivate the heart Mother more hurt.

Will I be able to accompany Kaysan to lead the army. I can't even imagine what my fate will be. Want me to melt my sorrow, want me to bury all the painful taste of the chest. But how! I have not been sincere if Kaysan dares to me, wishing for my love that slowly swells and overflows.

In this corner, I was pensive for a moment. I saw a silent diorama of memories with Kaysan in this room. Sometimes he likes to be busy himself, sometimes he likes to daydream himself.

If so, I'm afraid to approach him. At least just looking at him silently. It's what he's thinking. Sometimes I wonder, he never complains with me, or just tells me about his work problems. I realized that Kaysan was covered with his personal problems, Why? Can't I balance it, isn't it the same as I was with Kaysan. Until Kaysan refused to reveal everything to me.

I began to walk through every corner of the room, seeing one by one the wall hangings or decorations on display in this room. Everything seemed mediocre, until I looked at the special wardrobe of Kaysan clothes. Stained with this glass, looks heirloom keris and agate owned by Kaysan. Although never used this agate looks genuine, so do the keris-kerisnya that looks wingit.

I shudder in fear. I also saw a green shawl that was once called Indy. What special is the green scarf for Kaysan until he insisted to keep it.

I looked around. I swallowed my hard spit, before I finally opened the glass cabinet. The fragrance is stinging, there are fragrances and flowers in this closet.

I gradually retreated, but excessive curiosity drew me again to approach the sacred objects.

I touched the green shawl, soft as silk. There was a circle of beads at the end of the scarf that was gold in color. The more I hold the shawl, the more I want to wear it.

I made sure of the situation, it felt like no one was watching me.

I wrapped the green scarf around my waist. Something suddenly made me limp. I'm drooping on the floor. Slowly my eyes closed.

*

In the morning, I found Mbok Darmi in my room. And I was already on the bed.

"Have you woken up yet?" Mbok Darmi smiled knot. Smelled of incense in the room.

"What's up, Mbok?" ask me while remembering last night's incident. I saw that the green scarf wrapped around my waist was gone.

"Don't touch anything in that closet. Unless your tribe is ready, otherwise your body will resist and render you unconscious." [Sukma: soul ]

I massage my forehead, "I mean, that green shawl is lucky?"

Mbok Darmi shook his head, "The shawl is his." Mbok Darmi pointed to a painting of a woman Kaysan had drawn.

"It's not true, right, if Kaysan mas has a supernatural companion? Is that all a lie?" I try to find answers.

"Every human being born on earth must have a Qorin (counselor's genie), and your husband has one. A woman who has been by his side for a long time since he was born, because your husband is a chosen man."

Mbok Darmi held my hand, "If you want to wear a green shawl, it should be with his permission. If he's allowed it, you can wear it to dance."

I looked up at the ceiling of the room. My eyes were closed and a tear dripped as soon as I was without excuse.

I don't understand this has to happen to me, I'm like a victim who doesn't know anything and I still have to live it.

"Life in a blue blood family is like this, especially your husband is not an ordinary person. All the blue blood must have been protected by the Ancestor, intending to guard and become a spiritual teacher."

"Did Kaysan also accompany him to sleep?" Mbok Darmi shakes.

"It's time for dawn prayers. Do your duty, that's a message from 'good den before you go." I'm nodding.

*

On the same prayer mat, none of the men had a field back with a sound that flowed melodiously when reciting the prayers of life.

No man I kissed on the back of his hand. I feel lonely.

In the past, I thought marrying her was a way to perfect my worship.

In the past, I thought getting married was two people becoming one without any other concubines or escorts.

Marrying Kaysan was a big decision with big risks. Now all that risk I have to deal with. I came to my face, I wiped my tears.

If it is true. I'll fertilize my percaya taste so that it grows higher and deeper rooted. For me to continue to be able to trust Kaysan just chose me.

I tidied up my place of worship as usual, then I stepped my feet towards the painting of the beautiful woman hanging on the TV.

I look at him, if I'm just a regular guy. I will admire him even if I am not a human who understands fine art.

Now I understand, if Kaysan sees the TV he sees, it's not his TV, it's this painting.

*

In the morning I was ready to go to college, because there was no Kaysan I could breathe for a moment from the bed routine. Got the idea to bring my own bike, and I could go for a minute to see Nina. I miss that fat girl.

I was excited for it, under the pretext that I wanted to do a college assignment that I didn't understand. I left the twins and said goodbye to my mother.

No father, maybe he's at the house of another wife, I thought.

Riding Kaysan's black KLX motorbike is a pleasure. I haven't enjoyed this air for a long time. I'm like I'm in spite of the rules that curb. It's good for Kaysan to go to Bali, I can for a moment be myself, without pretending to be happy or looking okay. I'm not okay, I'm in the 'grandfather' phase, I'm in need of entertainment even if I just meet Nina.

*

Arriving at the campus, I chose a parking lot that was a bit far from the crowd of other students. Find a seat to do my job. I forgot, if yesterday's task should be collected no later than one in the afternoon. And I haven't done it at all. Last night I touched a sacred object that knocked me unconscious.

I open my laptop, while opening textbooks that can help me answer the task of Mr. Grace. May, as the name suggests, today I receive Grace and her guidance to do her duties.

"Difficult?" I looked at the source of the voice.

"You?" My eyes are rounded.

"Do I need to help you?"

"Go!"

"It's a miracle to see you again."

I let out a long sigh, "Not your major, Go!"

"I see, just find the answer on page 13."

"Go, I'm already dizzy with this task. Plus your presence makes me dizzy."

"I'm an assistant lecturer, so I know which tasks are assigned to students."

"Your major is German, so there's no way you're an assistant history professor."

I closed my laptop and put it in my bag again.

"Don't bother me!"

*

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