My Husband is a Ningrat

Chapters 19. [Love. oh love ]

I could not describe my feelings that night, even the nights after it became a gloomy night. I have trouble sleeping on classical grounds, I am confused by my own choices. Even my days became lethargic, I opened a store without taste. Ironing clothes with powerless. It tastes tasteless like an egg forgot to give salt, "Ah..." My mouth was rummaging as the iron touched my wrist. Heat.

Thinking about it makes me dazed. If unreserved love is okay, maybe not a soul mate. In contrast to my story, all hands were already open accepting me. Now I am the only one who has to make a big decision.

Big decision I have to say, it's like the presidential election. It's hard!

Only one you choose, then you should enjoy its performance for 5 years. If the performance is good it will probably lead 2 periods. But if the performance is bad, yes you know for yourself what you enjoy. It is a difficult choice to trust a choice.

Disappointment or happiness is like a complete package. There is nothing that an absolute person will be happy forever, or suffer forever. Because life is synergized.

The days leading up to my meeting with him were very hard days, my head was dizzy seven circumferences. Great circling.

Until I had to close the shop, my body was cold, shaking, not knowing what to answer later. Even my appetite is reduced, it's really funny. Because human love can indeed be crazy made.

Love is like a ghost, full of mystery. Not visible but real. Love oh.. love! why are you playing me like this, didn't you mess with me when you broke up a few months ago. I cried, screamed, my chest tightened. What love do you not love with me, when I expect happiness, which comes even pain.

Love is a fool. But why love is a hot topic to talk about, made into a story. Love is so eloquent as to play tricks on his people.

Like I was being played by him now. Victim of cruelty in the name of love...

*

This afternoon on Saturday, I was ready to wear my best clothes. Cannons my face with a thin powder, lipmatte peach color, letting my hair down with a small pinch on the top.

I don't know the idea of where this makeup is, the important neatly thought I.

Sitting on the front steps of the store, putting a headset on his ear to hear Within Temptation's gothic metal songs while waiting for him to come. He promised to pick me up at 5 p.m.

My promise and her, will meet today. Important days in our lives. I have made my decision, I have determined my intentions. I will answer all that has been the bitterness of my heart and hers. Whether it's love or not, I'll reveal everything later. Saying everything I feel.

I played several rounds of this song, he never came. Is he disavowed, where is he now? He wanted to betray me with his promise. Many times my eyes turned to the streets, the main road that became the only way his car came. But all I found was a vehicle that went back and forth with its own purpose.

I look at Alfamart who is already crowded with young people sitting in front of him, looking for WiFi or just chatting with the opposite sex. Share stories and jokes, or talk trivially about their love stories. It's ironic with me now, I'm sitting alone waiting for something uncertain.

I'm starting to sluggish. My face was already grim, I looked at the passing cars that did not care about me who was waiting like a confused person. Until finally the sound of adzan magrib reverberated.

It's 17:35 he broke a promise. I took a deep breath, I opened the shop again.

My one prayer today, if it is not sure it need not be forced. If you are not sure you let go. Because the forced will torture.

For a long time I took ablution water, while wiping away my tears.

My chest's tight. He's not lying yet, or I'm expecting him too much. Never mind, I'm off face. Tidying up to his place again.

Take off the cardigan jacket, open the store again. I am no longer powerful, my nyaliku has been lost carried away by the water of ablution earlier. My spirit had worn off when I knew he was breaking a promise.

It didn't live up to my expectations, it seemed like I was overreacting. There was no way he could seriously say everything that night.

Why the word 'maybe' that I keep saying, because there might be two possibilities. He's serious or just playing around.

The two possibilities he played with, made me uneasy, five days I was sleep deprived just from thinking about the best possibilities for both of us.

I was in a long time in the daydream. Stooping my head with my palm. Sharing strange thoughts got into me.

Until the sound of glass knocking terrorized me, terrorizing my daydreams. Over and over again until I realized that the glass beat was real. Not from my hallucinations.

I rubbed my face, "Yes..."

I looked up to see who was the one who broke my daydream.

He's so handsome, honestly I can't handle this good looks, it's not for me.

To me he is like someone who belongs to someone else. His good looks, his smile and everything in him. Not for me.

I was just a short memory for him, nothing more. My name is just an empty space in his heart. One moment will be forgotten.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

He took my hand, put a white rose in my hand.

I stared at the fresh-looking white rose, I understood the meaning of a white rose. A feeling of sincere love from a person for a lover of the heart or as a flower of farewell. Which means what he wants to give me.

I'm unmoving. No one started this conversation, I'm tired from being tense all day. Tense about having to meet Kaysan.

"Go home, I have no interest in going with you." I said as I placed the rose on the glass display.

"I know you're angry, but I'll explain why. I didn't know where to find the florist, so from this afternoon I was just going around looking for a florist. There's flowers in the house, but there's no way I'm giving you flowers."

I looked up to hear his explanation, "This flower does not belong in your promise category. Your promise is you'll only see me."

"I understand, but this flower I'm looking for is special for you."

I let out a long sigh, "My mood is gone to go. Let's just talk here."

"No!" she said quickly, "I'm waiting for you to get ready again." He got out of the store, got back in his car.

She was so good to tell me after 1 hour I had to wait for her in bitterness. Until I finally decided to get ready. Closing the shop door and leaving.

*

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