My ex, my Fiancee's Son

Chapter 42. Is this the right decision

"What about Marcus? He won't just shut up. Is he going to do something as desperate as kidnap you?"

"Since that night I have not seen Marcus again. She must have been very angry and disappointed in me because I still chose to continue this marriage. And he won't be able to kidnap or elope me. Because Andrew put some bodyguards around me. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to me again. So Marcus won't be able to kidnap me."

"You'd better rethink Shelina. Marriage is not an easy thing. I don't want you to regret it later. If you were to marry Andrew at any time you would never be able to unite with Marcus. Even if you were to divorce Andrew, you still wouldn't be able to marry Marcus. I don't want you to regret it the next day Shelina. You're my only friend and family, I want you to be happy." I smiled broadly at Evelyn trying to calm her anxiety and worry.

"I'm definitely happy with Andrew." My heart and brain are completely different. I smile but my heart cries. My mouth chose Andrew but my heart wanted to be with Marcus.

I can't take my decision back because I can't. But in my deepest heart I want this marriage to be void and united with Marcus. Had the groom been Marcus, I might have been more enthusiastic about my wedding day. Had Marcus met me first, he might have married me. And if we hadn't gone through that misunderstanding, I might have been Marcus' wife by now. But all that is only if, because in reality God gave me another way.

***

I can't sleep tonight. My eyes can't be closed at all. I have to get up early tomorrow and look fresh on my wedding day. But all these problems seem to be constantly spinning in my brain. Forcing me to keep my eyes open. I got up from the bed and walked towards the balcony. May the night air cool and calm my mind.

I walked to the side of the balcony. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. While both of them took a deep breath, I was stunned, there was something down there that caught my attention.

Whatisit? Somebody? Standing in the back garden in the middle of the night like this? Who'sis that? What the hell is he doing?

I continued to observe the silhouette of the person's back. It's Marcus! What's he doing there?

Unknowingly my feet were already walking out of the room. It even moved so fast that it almost ran towards the back garden of the mansion. And five minutes later I was standing behind Marcus.

What am I doing here? Why am I here?

I still catch my breath a little hunting. Marcus did not budge at all and remained standing still behind me.

"Why?" Marcus spoke to me without turning his body.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you insist on marrying my father? Why Shelina?!" The screams of Marcus at the end of his words jolted my body.

I can feel the anger from his tone. I couldn't get the words out to answer him because whatever I said would only hurt his heart deeper.

"You said you loved me. You said you wanted to be with me. But why are you doing this?" Marcus turned around quickly and gripped my shoulder.

My body shook receiving her rage of anger. My eyes glazed over Marcus's face. Even though the atmosphere of the back garden was dark but the moonlight can still help me see Marcus' injured face filled with tears.

"Why did you come back into my life if you just wanted to leave me again? Why are you telling me all the truth, if in the end I can't be with you? Why do you say you still love me if you can't unite with me? Why do you give me hope if in the end you just want to break my heart? WHY SHELINA?!"

Marcus' frustrated and hurt face was heartbreaking. My tears are flowing I can't take it anymore. So big a wound I gave him. And I feel that too. I ... I want to embrace it. Hugging it so tightly and saying I love you, so much love you that a single drop of your tears is like dozens of knives in my heart.

"Please Shelina, give me a chance to fix everything. Give me a chance to pay for all the grief and hurt I've given you over these five years. Let me be a good man who keeps his word." Marcus' hand stretched out to touch my cheek. Swiping it to wipe out my water flow.

"I love you, Shelina. I love you." The soft sound of the wounds he let out made me have trouble breathing. My heart was squeezed so hard that it almost broke from pain.

His black eyes looked at me so closely. Begging me to give him a chance just once. Persuaded me to cancel this marriage and return with him.

"Should I bow down to you?" His words were desperate which made my eyes grow in disbelief. A second after that sentence was said, Marcus was already gathered before me. His knees bent on the ground and his head looked up at me. My body trembled more and more and more and I smothered my mouth that wanted to yell at him to get up and never prostrate to me, because it was all in vain.

"Please come back to me?"

My tears are flowing. I could no longer look into those tear-filled black eyes. I looked down deep and sobbed strongly.

"Ma— sorry. Ma—maaf—kan a—aku, Marcus," I said in between sobs. My body was vibrating as if I was being powered by millions of volts of electricity. I had trouble breathing like a fish lying in a barren desert. And my heart seemed to be forcibly plucked away causing a huge gaping empty space in my chest.

Oh my God, why is this trial so hard? I was just expecting a little happiness, but why is it so hard to reach for it.

Marcus looked down listlessly. Both his shoulders went down limply. I don't want to see it as fragile as this. I don't want to.

With gontai Marcus got up and left me. And that's when I fell on the ground. My legs are limp as if I have lost the bone that supports them. My tears flowed like a leaking dam embankment. My chest was so tight as if a big rock was crushing down on him that he couldn't work normally. There is a big wound in my heart. It is very large and creates a vacuum. Wounds that are not bleeding but very painful. I cried loudly alone in the dark garden behind the mansion.

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