Magic Lantern

Let Go

After they split up at the airport. Kreshna returned to his own life.

A feeling of loneliness and emptiness afflicts him. But what does he want to say. All because of himself who was always hesitant decided to give certainty to his relationship and Ratih.

Divorce of his parents. Looming himself. She did not want her children to experience what she was going through.

He never said the reason for his doubt. Not sure if Ratih would understand. It is likely that he will be considered fabricating.

That day was a grey day. When his father said goodbye to him. The quarrel that colored his house was indeed over but the silence struck and whack.

His mother drowned in her own life. He had a man who seemed to be replacing his father. 

His father married a woman. His name is often heard from the quarrels of his parents.

Himself estranged. Especially after her mother got married. Getting busy with her business, her new husband and sister. He is increasingly estranged in his own family.

He felt that he was a thorn in the throat for his own family.

It was a sad day when he came home from school. Heard an accidental conversation his parents had at home.

"I can't take him. My wife won't accept it. She doesn't want to be a stepmom and have a streotype as a stepmother."

"You married a very cruel woman. Is that your own son? I don't want to take care of it. I'm busy and now we have a baby. I don't want Kreshna to feel alienated."

"You're mother. You're more ruthless not taking care of your own son. What kind of husband did you marry yourself? Can't give attention to the child?"

"Indeed you can? You alone? Your job is cheating and being busy with yourself. If only you had noticed me and Krishna and been faithful. There's no way we're getting divorced."

"I cheated on you for seeking comfort. You're just busy with yourself. You're watching me and Krishna."

"Easy! Our marriage is like a vicious cycle. I want to leave Kreshna to you. I'm having a hard time dividing my attention."

"I told you I couldn't. My wife doesn't want the house we built to fall apart just because of this."

"What is this problem?" His mother's voice began to swell and rise.

"Easy! I gotta go. I don't want to repeat our household's failures. I don't want to lose my wife."

"You don't want to lose your wife but you don't care about your son at all."

"What happened to us. It was a bitter pill in my life. I won't repeat anymore. I promised myself. I-i'm sorry! I can't fulfill your request. You wanted that custody yourself. Now you want to transfer me while my wife never wants that custody."

His father left his mother again. He has not seen his father since.

Hearing the rejection of father and mother. Making his heart hurt and not want to let alone look for his father. 

His father never tried to find or contact him. As a boy. He was not crying for her.

He was used to being independent and alone. Determined will make himself something to be proud of and depend on.

His presence in the middle of the mother's family with her husband and sister. As he said it was like a thorn in the throat.

He decided to continue his education abroad. Escape from all the things that befell him without being able to avoid.

His father never looked for him. But leave some money for his education. Her future.

While his own mother and also his father, he was very supportive of his decision. Continuing education abroad. 

The cost of education and living is obtained from father, mother and father. Until he can finance everything himself and doesn't need them anymore.

Return to Indonesia to work. Decided to stay alone. Making his relationship with his new mother and family can be well established. At least he no longer felt like a thorn in the throat.

Career streaking. It was not difficult for him to concentrate on education and work. 

Alicia is his first lover and best friend. He has so high hopes for her.

The trauma that befell him made it not easy to approach let alone trust women. 

Moreover, he found almost all women the same. No one met let alone came close to her expectations except for Alicia who looked different.

Himself is in love. For the first time he entrusted his heart and life to a woman.

Destruction re-engages her when she finds Alicia cheating on her.

"You're too indifferent and cold!" Cetus Alicia's.

"What do you mean I'm too indifferent and cold?" Kreshna's eyes looked into Alicia's eyes as if they were piercing through her bead.

"You're just busy with your work.Remissing me."

"I ignored you?"

"You're building a wall that I can't get through."

"Not looking for an excuse. We broke up and I don't want to talk about what happened between us anymore."

Alicia's own relationship with her new boyfriend doesn't work. The attention Alicia meant. Indeed he got it but the man was unbelievable and easily fell in love.

She cannot accept Alicia back even though Alicia is sorry and apologizes.

"I forgive you but I don't want to give you another chance." Tukas Krishna.

They remain friendly. Alicia is like her own family. A family he never really had. They just give material. Can't give a family warmth let alone love.

His father invited him to dinner as soon as he heard of his success in the top position of the company he currently leads.

The first and last time he met his father and family was after his divorce from his mother.

They looked very different from the family they had once built.

Her mother seemed very attentive to her father and sisters. His father also seemed to love his wife and children.

Hugged her tightly before they parted, "Dad is proud of you. For years, I've been worried that your mother and I've had an impact on you. But it seems my fear is unreasonable!"

In the middle of his work. Sometimes he visits his mother's family. As a form of respect. Not because they feel part of their family.

Especially when her mother invited her to celebrate the holiday together. When you get together with the whole family.

He doesn't know which is better. Never met like his father's family so there was no need to witness something he never had. 

Or occasionally meet.As he was with his mother's family. Swallowed envy at the wholeness and harmony of his mother's new family, father and sisters.

Every time he attended a family event in his mother's family. He always felt like a mistake to his mother. He shouldn't exist. Become a stale in the family. She was a different tone or a fake in her mother's family.

Awkward and stale conversation. Bumbling attitude and unable to unite with his mother's new family including his own mother. Coloring their family gathering.

He's like a typex in the lives of his parents. It is written in a sentence of a different shape….