Magic Lantern
Tenuous
Tania's mind was suddenly in turmoil. Daren drove him home. They don't talk as much as usual.
There is a confusion covering both. A kind of fog in their friendship.
Throughout the night, Tania lost her concentration at work. His mind often floated on things he accidentally found.
Shock exactly. Didn't expect at all that Daren had sexual perversion. Her housemate is her sexual partner.
Maybe a lot of people already know. New Zealand is a very open country with this. There's no way Daren could have hidden her sexual orientation. But maybe Tania didn't notice it.
Although they have often met and chatted but they do not know at all about their personal lives.
In New Zealand it is customary not to talk about personal matters. Chat can flow comfortably if it does not concern things that are personal.
Tania was very relieved when her working hours ended. He could think of things that disturbed his mind more intensely.
He is not the type of person who can forget things that interfere with his mind by turning his mind to other activities. Instead, it will make him more disturbed because he has not understood or found a way out of his problem.
Arriving in his room. When preparing for sleep. After cleansing his body. Phone's ringing. Pras.
“What's up?” Reply reluctantly. Pras like adding to the problem. Makes him feel more miserable. Think about why he is surrounded with people who have no wisdom in making choices in his life. Of course this is according to his perspective.
Darren has a sexual perversion while Pras is a playboy. What's wrong with her? Such as not being selective in choosing with whom to make friends or get along closely.
“Why does your voice seem uninspired?” Ask Pras across the street.
“It's okay. My mood and feelings are uncomfortable.”
“Maybe if you want to share your thoughts. It will feel better even though maybe I can't necessarily help you.”
Tania gamang's mind. He felt that Pras' words were right. He needed a place to share his thoughts.
“What do you think if you find that people close to you have sexual irregularities.” Tania.
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone especially if they are adults. They have their own choices. I don't mean to disrespect or respect everyone's personal choices. But what if that person is your own close friend?”
“He hid his sexual orientation from you?”
“Maybe it was me who didn't notice or didn't know the difference?”
“You like it?”
“Entahlah. Might as well. Likes his character and personality.”
“Yeah. I get your point. I thought you were growing up.”
“Yeah. Grow up is a pain.”
“Yeah. But you can go through it and be a better person. Mostly, in understanding people and circumtances.”
“Yeah. You right's. We can't avoid things that can make us grow .”
“I'm glad you feel in love even if not with me.” Pras opened his voice.
“What do you mean?”
“At least, you know what I feel.”
Tania termangu heard Pras' words. To be honest, she did not believe that a playboy like Pras could actually fall in love.
Tania's relationship with Darren is strained. They stay away from each other.
Tania herself tries to forget about Darren and respect his privacy. Not wanting to interfere in his personal life.
Tania was looking for a book in the library when she bumped into someone who was also looking for a book.
Both faces were surprised.
“You?” Tania.
“Maybe its time for us to meet each other.”
“Yeah.”
“Would you like some coffee?” Barat Darren on Tania. With a nod of Tania's head.
They walked out of the library. Find a place that sells coffee and snacks.
Darren has two vanilla lattes and two croissants. Sausage and smoked beef.
The two sat facing each other.
“How is your doing?” Sahut Darren while offering coffee and croissants that he bought on Tania.
“Fine, thank you. How about yourself?”
“Not good's. I missed our conversation.”
“Yeah, me too..”
“I am afraid you can't except me.”
“Why is that?”
“Its your personal choice. You are adult. As long as you also respect mine and not force your choice to me. Respect the bondaries. There should not be any matters.”
“Can we still be friend?”
“I don’t know. I still shock.”
“Yeah, I know. But, you are one of my bestie. I just want you to know.”
“Yeah, so do you Darren. You are like a brother to me. I really adore you.”
“Yeah, maybe we attrack to each other personality and character. I don’t know how to discuss about it. I don’t want you to have a wrong message.”
“Darren, like I said. I don’t want to interfere your personal matters. It is your affair as an adult not mine. Your choice not mine. I should not trespassing in your house. Its not your fault but mine. I am reckless.”
“Maybe we can talk later. After both of us ready to talk about it.”
“Maybe we should not. I don’t want you feel that I have something to do with your life and choice.”
“I want to talk about this to you. I want we talk about it openly.”
“But what for?”
“I don’t know. I just want to share my life story to you.”
“Ok, we will see later. Okay?”
“Okay. I just want everything come back like used to be. That’s all.”
“But you don’t have to share your personal life to me.”
“You are my best friend. I just want you know about me more. That’s all.”
“Ok. But give me time.”
“Yeah, ofcourse.”
They are busy with their activities away from each other. Give space and time for each to digest.
A sweet gift received by Tania. Today is his birthday. Darren sent him a gift. A birthday card.
Tania unfolded the sweater and tried it on her body. Very fitting. Color cream. It's called Sexy Brain. Which made Tania laugh for a moment.
He grabbed his gadget and called Darren.
“Hello, Sweety..” Darren's distinctive voice greeted him.
“Hello Darren! Thanks for the birthday gift. I like it very much!”
“I am glad that you like it.”
“Nice colour and funny words on it.”
Darren laughs.
“I'll buy you coffee this afternoon. Hows it? Four o'clock in the afternoon? Five o'clock I have to work. Don’t be late!” Tania.
“Ok!”
They met at the agreed place. Their favorite coffee shop. It's a very comfortable place to talk.
Tania was already waiting for Darren at their favorite spot. A desk chair located outside near the road. The corner.
“Hazelnut latte, croissant and muffin. Good choice.”
“I only choose the best.” Tania laughed, followed by Darren.
“Nice to see your laughing again.” Darren.
“Yeah, me too. Nice to see you again.”
“I move out from Thomas house?”
“But why?”
“I want everything to be clear.”
“What do you mean?”
“He is too generous that make me convinced.”
“Can you support youself?”
“I am working as partime job as a waiter. And I also except the job from my professor to help him for his research. I also make application for full scholarship and for the backup I also apply for education loan."
“Why you left him?”
“I want to stop to take advantage of him. And fine the real truth of my own.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You always refuse to hear my story.”
“I do not want to interfare your business. You are an adult. You know the right and wrong are. You make a decision by your own and take the consequences of it.”
