LOCKDOWN A Love And Covid - 19
After you leave
My life on top of happiness is more than enough, the story that has been created, the people I know, slowly all the fun will leave the world wide.
I learned so much from losing someone I love. That the earth remains in circulation, the sun still shines brightly, flowers keep growing, people still fight for their lives, he said, nothing stops in this world but my despair that sinks like the sun dives into the clouds in the afternoon and does not want to rise again.
The long road I was going through, only in this moment the road was very steep, a lot of rocks that made me keep stopping in the middle of the road.
Because this is the path I will take, I chose it on the basis of my slowly growing consciousness in my destapa. I learned again to start everything from the beginning, despite being limped, even though it seemed to crawl down this path, but I had to keep going instead of staying still and lamenting everything. I believe the expanse of heaven is vast, immeasurable with anything, I must live as I always have, to live without it.
There are om Rahman and bulik Nuri who are also like me, I read to them, those who take care of their children from the womb, raise them, but not until both of them step on the level of marriage death has approached both. Patience and fortitude om and my bulik became the main benchmark for me. Now everyone is gathered in the grandmother's house, still trying to laugh in the midst of grief, caring for and maintaining the integrity of the brotherhood created.
"has not been prepared yet?" mother asked while shouting from the secreet garden. It has been half a day grandma and mom are busy caring for flowers until they forget time.
"process.." replied my brother who had not touched at all the chicken that had been slaughtered by Rahman and my father this afternoon.
"the rendition..?" yelled mother again.
"process.." replied Bulik Nuri follow my brother, even though they are still busy watching the Korean drama the world of the married which is not yet over.
Impatiently finally mom entered the house, shook her head while continuing to mutter annoyed but swiftly took steps to cook. There is nothing better than mother-made opor, rendang cuisine can make people one village addicted. Do not feel guilty with my brother's compote and bulik Nuri just look up and refocus on the tab screen each, this is how if wifi is connected in areas with minimal signal such as the Pagilaran tea village. Even if it is before breaking the fast some parents crowded on the home page to pick up their children who are busy surfing the internet with wifi installed by the father.
I got up, invited Aydin and Fatih to accompany me to the villa's living room. I promised to buy them ice cream if they would accompany me, and they did.
"take mbak, same obil lemot." I chuckled, always Fatih comforted me by innocently spelling out the word.
"car remot.." my error he nodded showing off his teeth that began to blacken porous because of chocolate and candy.
I sat on a white sofa, the most comfortable place to be alone and reminisce with memories. My two nieces are busy with their cars strewn about. My eyes are always watching and daydreaming when looking at the beauty of the waterfall that almost looks like a painting. Today the weather was very bright, all the beauty and color blending presented in front of me.
I slowly permeated my situation, that after you left the earth kept rotating, the wind kept going, all humans kept moving in search of life.
After you left, I let time wipe away the hurt wounds for the rest of my life.
Everyone will not be ready for farewell.
"Yasmine, there's a guest.." Dad's voice diverted my daydreams, I shuffled from the sofa and hurried to put on some neat clothes. I saw a man dressed in light purple cocoa and woven sarongs of the same color.
"assalamualaikum sis.." he said to me as he placed his hands in front of his chest.
"waalaikumsalam warahmatullah.." I replied with astonishment. Dad smiled
"this is ustadz Muslih, the owner of the Darr Sa'adah foundation in Batang Regency." father introduced me, I nodded his head in a nod trying to digest again the intention of his arrival.
"so come on, Yasmine's mom is looking for people to hold treasures isn't she? In shaa Allah our foundation is ready." I just remembered about him that father told me a few days ago.
"iyya right ustadz Muslih, I was looking for people to help me allocate money for the care of the late husband. If you may know, ustadz himself channeled funds through institutions or private yes..?"
"we are engaged in the Lazis Daar Sa'adah institution, for two years our institution has been running, thank God the community is enthusiastic and expects generous people to leave their property to us. In shayah Allah we distribute to those who are in need, without the slightest remaining. "he said to me. I nodded, then permission to take all the treasures that were bequeathed to me from Firhan.
" This ATM contains approximately 4M, my husband left that much treasure for me. I assure ustadz, if my personal proposal 1.5M is used to buy Personal Protective Equipment is given to medical personnel throughout Central Java, especially hospitals that handle Covid-19 cases.
2.5M to buy food and the needs of infants and pregnant women impact Covid-19. And in each parcel give enough nominal money.
I heard ustadz building a boarding house?"
" iyya is right... "
" the rest I infused for the construction of pesantren huts, especially to make wells first ustadz yes, I heard the reward is very large if building wells for people who pray. All of which I infused on behalf of my late husband Firhan Avecenna. The ATM password is in his book. "clearly me while giving the ATM I have.
"in the Lord, the submission documentation will always be uploaded on social media. Then we provide a photo and a summary of the distribution of money clearly without the rest."
"no need ustadz, I believe completely in ustadz. Later if this lockdown is completed, I still want to leave some jewelry for the construction of boarding houses in Shaa Allah."
"sha'a Allah, be kind.. May Allah bestow upon Yasmine's mother and family."
"aaaaamiin..". Father chimed in the prayers of the ustadz before us. Before finally he said goodbye while bringing the ATM.
There was gratitude I could ask my brother Firhan to open the safe and ask him to send the money through the bank, I did not need to promise anything when the ustadz came. May it be a field of reward for my husband in his grave. Only in this way did I vent my miss to her.
Time goes on as it is, never again feels slow to walk. In the afternoon approaching the world is getting older, covid-19 has not subsided, Jakarta is getting worse, some areas in this city become red zones. I'm sure every human being has the same story as me, they're pregnant, maybe there's a new baby, too, but their husbands were held in the oversea because of the lockdown of the territory that occurred to reduce the spread of Covid-19. Until death finally becomes a separation between their relationships.
The pain and memories sprung up, forming the deepest scarred streak, even I almost wanted to end my life because of the news.
The most painful death was the death by covid, where the family could not witness the last moment before the ground became a barrier, could not bathe for the last time, could not touch or smell for the last time, he said,no neighbors or relatives who accompany, and even only a few people who take care of, even the medical people who are in charge of handling covid.
I never thought that a man as good as my husband would be one of the victims of this deadly virus.
April
Jun
Jul
Aug
After you leave, I will try to reconcile again, I will lie to everyone that I am happy, let this lie be a very nimble thing I do for everyone around me.
There is no hope in my present life, I have never loved anyone but you.
Your smile still adorns my night, in the dream room we meet and joke like we used to. With that I am happy enough. I don't even want to wake up from my sleep to keep staring and meeting you. Although sometimes when I wake up I find clear tears wet on the cheeks, I can say quite happy.
After you left, I tried to get up again. The day I went through was not as smooth as when I was with you, the end of this month I was busy with my real story that I made into a novel, I sent it in a famous novel publishing in Indonesia. They loved my work and were ready to turn it into a novel.
After you left, a few months later the world returned to its original state, covid-19 disappeared without a trace on the face of the earth even on the news, all focused on facing a present filled with prudence. Everyone is careful when it comes to eating, hygiene and of course keeping a distance. Everyone became cleaner, more keeping their hands clean, even I saw all the places of the association such as stops or even malls have washtafles to make it easier for visitors to wash their hands. The number is not just one or two but more than six washtafles installed in the mall. Initially less reasonable, but Indonesia took a lot of lessons from the coronavirus and lockdown.
Now I live a brighter life, hiding sadness, along with sadness that is always remembered by you. Not infrequently I buy by for people at home with more numbers, I always remember you.
After you left, I tried to die to be able to move to my grandmother's house. We will live a life starting from scratch again, selling houses in pine forests, selling villas next to houses, he said, and left behind a scene that was unbored as the blue sky settled over the towering tall shady trees.
But because the father was always not allowed to move, the father decided to leave the world of work. He was getting busy with his mother decorating the expanding secret garden like a forest. In the future the work of father and mother will be made a tourist spot. And Mr. Parman and his wife came with us in the Pagilaran tea mountains. The house is getting crowded, om Rahman and bulik Nuri also plan to build a tahfidzul qur'an boarding house in Pagilaran. A cold place is suitable for memorization, said om Rahman.
After you left, my father always accompanied me to visit my mother's house, I only did it once, when my womb entered the age of 7 months. I visited him who had not been able to rise from his acute depression. I send Javanese food, I give murotal mama and I put it in every corner of the room in her house. At that time I had a chance to visit our house, I just stopped by and saw the state of the house, looking for a moment at the traffic that was back dense, as if I was waiting for you to come back home, I can only smile and shrug my shoulders while breathing a long breath if I have fantasized again. I visited my house accidentally, it has been months since the fasting month, until now August no one has dared to buy our flat. Some are already interested in buying, but are afraid they say. There are also those who raw refused to buy for fear that there is a covid virus in the house by you, I can only shake my head when responding to buyers.
After you left, I became more independent in my daily life, there was no longer any place for me to indulge in spoiled. Whaddya think? Do I look strong? Have I become a wonderwoman ? Have I become a true liar? Now that I'm honest, there are no more lies in my behavior. If I am sad I will brightly reveal to everyone in the house that they comfort me, and I will be frankly happy if the condition of my heart is not so upset when I think about you. I am still grateful that you can accompany me in my own footsteps, your presence in my delusion is able to encourage me and the large fetus in my stomach.
After you leave, I always drive myself. Just like now now I will go to the obstetrician for a check before the age of the womb goes to September, the last month of our child in my womb.
"still drive yourself, brother..?" ask doctor Furqon, an obstetrician in Batang City.
"doctor, is it dangerous..?" I said scared, but he developed his smile.
"no, no one's hurt. As long as you are not tired and tired, it is not a problem. Her legs aren't swollen, are they?" ask him while checking
"no doc. Alhamdulillah be fine."
"okke lay down, as usual let the nurse check the contents of the sister ya." he said, his eyes narrowed from behind the glasses of the box he was wearing because of his smile.
Ever since I checked here, Dr. Furqon let the nurse who was checking in, he took great care of me, how do I not show my aura. But if it really is an emergency like last week the nurse is not sure about the position of the fetus, then Furqon doctor who handles me..
In my heart there is nothing terbesit, if Mas Firhan knows it he will not force me to insist on finding a female doctor because there is no female obstetrician here. Even if I want to go to Pekalongan, and of course the distance is long.
"normal all the docks." reported the nurse and then the doctor invited me to take the prescription outside.
"sister Yasmine Adelia." call doctor Furqon to stop my footsteps from coming out of the doorway, I turn around again.
"iyya doc..?"
"this book is your original work, right..?" he showed me an orange cover book that read "at dusk that takes you away". He asked in an informal tone as usual. I nodded normally there was no look of pride or admiration of the doctor who examined me reading it.
"this is a true story or just fiction sis..?" doctor Furqon kept his chair away from the desk while carrying the book over to me.
"it's the doctor's original work. The story of me and my husband." I said, weighing whether I would be late to Pekalongan plamedia to meet fans and share about the book that is now also in the hands of my obstetrician.
"may I have a signature..?" I tried not to show my dislike for him, but anyway. I responded lazily to the seat and gave my autograph to the paper behind the cover.
I immediately parted politely and passed away leaving her after taking the medicine.
I went back in the car, back to tell the story of you who was shy.
That was my day after you left.
Full of lies and theatrics at first, but now I'm trying to get used to it.
The distance between the hospital and the Flamedia bookstore is not that far away, a very good place in my opinion if building a bookstore adjacent to the hospital. That way patients who are not seriously ill can read a book to eliminate the temptation to wait for the doctor to check it, or while waiting to recover occasionally travel the world, because through books all the world can gather with readers.
I arrived in front of the shop yard, my arrival made all eyes look, their views seemed clear not just amazed. I immediately sat down on the chair and a table provided to the readers asking for my autograph. The Novel At Dusk That Brought You Away has been printed more than 12 times. Time to wrestle with pen and signature scribble. Everyone is waiting in line.
"sister, I salute you very much, brother. Yes brother spirit." said a shy girl embarrassed after I put an autograph on the book he bought. I smiled at him.
Half an hour spent sitting on a chair becomes a very tiring job for pregnant women who have entered the third trimester, I can no longer cope with the queue of buyers who ask for signatures. Moreover, my baby boy in the stomach already salto ria want his mother to eat something. I asked permission to go home because conditions did not allow me to stay here. Finally I went back to the car again, knocking down the seat joints so as not to be too upright while I breathed a long breath enjoying the cold AC getting colder. Ordering go good at some nearby restaurants and eating it yourself, always like I do when tired hit in the age of pregnancy is getting older. I've been thinking about taking my own leave that hasn't stayed home since the end of Covid-19.
After easing my pain and aches, I decided to go home, with my maroon red car, Firhan's favorite color.
