LOCKDOWN A Love And Covid - 19
Lockdowns
"how severe do you think the plague is in our country now...?" watching me I asked the world that was starting to cloud. Though today's weather forecast will be hot, we are already entering April, and fasting falls on one of the days in April, it shows that summer is coming.
One more day of fasting 2020 arrives, Ramadan in plain sight. Coinciding with April 23, 2020 but today the rain is ready to plunge to the ground.
The plague must exist, in Islam the religion I profess explains it. That the plague must have come to earth once a hundred years. And the plague will be lifted off the face of the earth when summer comes, and the summer of the Muslims falls on the month of Ramadan, many have also made Instagram posts about their hopes that Covid-19 will be lifted off the face of the earth when Ramadan arrives. I have the same expectations as them.
City locked, PSBB implemented, school children in liburkan, an essential saturation. Unlike me, I live and live in a home that is set against the scenery and agro-tourism. It's my home and there's no reason anyone would forbid me from coming home. Even so the saturation of the mind I still feel, lonely when many people around me, feel alone when I sit alone with family.
I decided not to read the letter sent to Tiara. I'll meet him myself, I'll support him and provide support. I want Firhan to heal. I want her to know that I'm pregnant and my son needs her as his father.
Every time I think of her, every single one of my tears come. The sense present in the chest rages with the mind running around looking for the best solution to the problem. But the results have always been nil in my life. I can't think straight. I was stupid to think about death and death.
I'm not ready for that..
It hurts so much, just like skin wounds that are given alcohol repeatedly without stopping.
It has been five days since I restored the state of my fetus who was in shock when I knew the state of his father. I learned to revive my despair and my life collapsed. I looked at my phone to confirm once again whether today was even day five. I was right, I had been resting my body for six days after bad news came to me that morning.
"can I go to Jakarta to meet Firhan..?" ask my brother who is cramming a piece of tempe me Fatih's mouth. I saw his eyes burning with fire, a very negative look.
"come on, you have to be conscious, and don't be selfish."
My brother's tone jumped a little from his normal. The doctor's soul came out as soon as I heard I wanted to go to Jakarta. I hugged the two legs I put on the sofa.
"now think about your health and your baby's, there's a lot of coronavirus out there, and you never know who has the virus. In public places you know so much? That was the main reason why other countries locked their cities, lockdown." his tone made it as flat as possible even though there was a certain part that he pressed. I just kept quiet, I put an indifferent attitude on her. I'll ask Mr. Parman to pick me up when my brother leaves for work. I've booked tickets for March 25th, I'm not going to refund the tickets I've booked for sure. My heart continued to murmur indistinctly, my brother and I were silent to each other, no one spoke.
Ramadan this time will be the worst ramadan in my history, no Firhan. There is no occasion to cook his favorite green bean porridge, or make his favorite banana cake. I'm going to Jakarta. I convinced that sentence many times to grow courage in me.
Tonight crickets are working out and collaborating with frogs playing with their tones breaks the silence of the night in the mountains of Pagilaran tea. Puddles of puddles in water-filled ground pits capture the shadow of white lights from outside.
No longer need to drive far to the city, although the signal is not as much and as stable when in the city but this is quite helpful.
Several notifications popped up, the ringtones I set showed from the news. I always turn on the news notifications, I haven't opened any news in a few days, filled the time vacuum while waiting for the embers to grow I picked up my tab that was still burning.
My eyes were focused on the top news uploaded by the CNN website. An article in print with bold represents the content of the news.
Starting April 24, 2020 per 00:00 aircraft are prohibited from carrying passengers.
My hand shook, I read it again and again, the news related and it was not a rumor. All the media is showing it, which can prevent my long move to pick him up. Airports are closed, passenger flights are not allowed, all public transportation both land, sea and air are operational. Partly lockdown, lock down their cities to ease the plague that hit our country.
I turned my head to take a car to Jakarta, but my fetus....
I threw my tab towards the sofa, with the greatest despair after all the effort I would try but in vain and everything was neatly arranged and showed there was a new scenario, that me and Firhan can no longer meet.
I closed my face tightly to strengthen myself. One of the best wishes and prayers is that Firhan must be healed. That way he can get back to me after the flight opens.
I'm begging...... My heart hurts so much
"you why...? Pain Yasmine..?" the panic-stricken tone that came out of my brother's mouth I could only reply with a light slab.
I am no longer alive, how can I live my life if my love lies there alone.
I locked myself back in, my eyes narrowed, I couldn't figure out what. A pen and paper that I had provided for writing only produced rough scribbles without writing, my only hope was this fetus.
I don't want to imagine that Firhan is hurting right now, I want him to be okay. I beg you to disappear the strange thoughts in my brain. Many times the door on the door from the outside. The voices of the people around me alternately. There was a mother who offered me flowers, my sister who asked me to keep her two soldiers, my grandmother who told me to eat, and my two nieces with her tiny hands on her talking to me to play. There is no power for me to answer all voices.
My silence represents all the circumstances that I have experienced. It would be better if I was alone, I really didn't want to have a life. My love melted together with a sad tidings, my memories dancing in front of my eyes. I huddled down on the cold granite floor.
