LOCKDOWN A Love And Covid - 19

A decision

It has been almost an hour we were in the car to see the view of rain falling from the horizon, usually if we pass at a speed of 60KM/hour, we will arrive in just minutes, he said, now that an hour is almost gone and the speed is still like this, I appreciate my father's decision to take care of me and this fetus and I am not a person who gets bored easily.

Dad pulled over to enter a large courtyard, next to a minimalist house there is a building with a yellow white neon box that says

"drs. Yusniwati sp.Og obstetrics and obstetrics specialist"

I looked around, dad had already pulled out of the car first to confirm whether the obstetrician would open the practice today, the nurse came out of the room after several times the father pushed the bell, he kindly let me in first.

I gulped heavily, while I breathed a lot, the atmosphere here is very beautiful beyond the view of my house which in fact is a natural scenery and pine hills. In the yard of Yusniwati doctor's house there is not a single pine tree, but the layout and design of the garden make visitors as if they were in a flower forest. Many types of flowers that propagate outside, the area of the garden may be three times larger than his home and the clinic where he practices. Dad knocked on the window, making me look at him.

"come straight in, I've registered you" said the father from outside the window that I had lowered.

I was getting nervous, it felt like I wanted to go home, because I knew some obstetricians were fierce and decisive and both attitudes were contrary to my easily hurt heart, I tried to remove the negative shadow and slipped the phrase "the ferocious for the good of my fetus" many times in my mind. My feet stepped on the front yard of this clinic terrace, with the weight of my feet stepping, as in the big stone stone it felt. The AC temperature immediately sticks tightly to the skin when it first enters and closes the clear glass door, the owner must be diligent in cleaning. The friendly greeting of the young lady guarding the registration lobby flowed just like that as if inaudible. I looked at him once more.

"ih Yasmine"

"Irma yes."

Spontaneously and simultaneously we said the name, he stepped closer to me and clenched the anxiety I was treating in the same way, like the end of our meeting at Junior High.

"dad, this is Irma my old Junior Middle School friend."

I introduced dad

"oooh iyya iyya." said like understanding father, he focused on his phone. Irma led me to sit in a padded chair facing the registration lobby.

"i didn't think you'd see me again." I saw her lips curled spoiled, just as she used to when she spoke U vowels she would include her lips to form the letter.

"samaa me too, since when did you work here?"

"this two-year walk." I nodded, anxious to pinch Irma's thick cheeks that never diminished.

"eh weigh the weight first yuk." he asked, and I followed behind Irma's body.

This metalic black digital scale I scanned for a few seconds until several numbers appeared.

"36.2 kg. Okke already." said Irma calmly then write the number on a paper like serving other patients. I was amazed to see the change in his attitude. The ringing of the head felt like it found it so.

Irma was engrossed in telling me about her life, she even knew I had been running public speaking and writing books. As she told me, my heart kept thinking, how about Irma ask me where my husband is. Hmm I was busy thinking about that answer until I could no longer hear it. The steps of a pair of house slippers sounded bouncing, tap tap tap quickly the step approached us. Irma ended her story not knowing what, and she didn't ask where my husband was. It may have been a rule for residents of this practice house, so as not to ask the couple if they do not bring it.

My heart trembled again, there were tremors of fear, worry, and nervousness. I always do this in the presence of doctors, all kinds of doctors. It started with the pediatrician checking me out if I had a fever, then the dentist who was always ready to pull my teeth out, and now the obstetrician. Her smile expanded as soon as I entered along with Irma, I asked dad to just wait outside.

Sitting in front of him was sitting in front of the prosecutor, I felt like I had just been trapped after stealing and held accountable, maybe now my face is very pale.

"Yasmine Adelia ya.." asked the doctor, her eyeballs crossed with me, I just nodded.

"what age is it..?"

"i'm 21 years 4 months doctor."

"okke please rilex, lie in bed there, we see the development through USG yes."

I followed his friendly directions, unlike what I expected. But I don't know what it is. Usually the doctor will be angry if there is a mistake caused by the patient himself, I feel guilty for abandoning my body does not touch the food perfectly. In a shortcut my mind asked

is my fetus okay..?

My steps were fixed on a television screen that had been connected to a computer, an image that was strange, dark but bright, after an object touched the skin of my lower abdomen, the image on the screen began to move, following, I have not studied the function of the device in the doctor's hand, I look carefully at the television screen.

"wahh tuh deductnya still very small, wrapped in a membrane."

"that's a bigger sir, ask the doctor to me." I saw him looking up at the computer screen in front of the bed where I was lying.

"father wants to have a grandson, congratulations." Dad smiled happily at that, as happy as I was. This will be the second best moment of my life after meeting Firhan .

I couldn't help but hold back the tears, I let them flow as they pleased, the sound of my healthy fetal heartbeat, the thumping sound of me being very bright, the most beautiful melody I first heard, the best music that gave me life.

Firhan would have been so happy if he had known this, he would have repeatedly kissed my forehead out of love and happiness.

Me and Dad came home, my smiles circulating all the way home exciting. As far as I know that my womb has entered the age of 14 weeks if calculated since the first day of the last menstruation. Rinai drizzle left, the rain was not as hard as before, as if the universe knew that my heart was very happy, he also presented a clear sky along with a drizzle.

The rainbow stretched out at the end of the city, coiling like a human smile that did not know the word miserable.

"yasmine.." Dad opened his voice calling me like there was something he wanted to talk about. From that moment we just stayed in the car, I was busy with my silence talking, maybe so was my father who was not much different from me.

"yes." I turned to him.

"dad has a decision and I hope you don't have to weigh it up again, this is for the sake of your future and your fetus." he turned his head for a moment at me with his serious face, then again staring at the lonely streets. I nodded, I'm sure Dad saw my nod from the side of his left eye.

It was like choosing the right word for me.

" let's move, we'll have to go to Grandma's house. You don't have to ask me why my mom or dad. We want your body and mind to be healthy. It's not like I can't believe you're okay. I'm just afraid that someday you'll be reminded of Firhan, and that's for sure... "

" it will affect my pregnancy." I smiled, I tried to dampen down the concerns of my father and everyone in the house. I smiled as my father looked at me kindly.

"i don't care, it's been good for me and this fetus."

"and also, we'd be safer if we lived in the village. Because covid has circulated to where. I'll take care of the letter to move to Batang City like before."

"doesn't you mind, Dad? Later the mother will be sick if she remembers the late mamas." I recall the story of the mother who was very depressed while living in Batang. Besides that I was still worried, what if Firhan came home and I wasn't around. I panicked about it, the only reason I didn't want to move out of the pine hill was that I would still wait for Firhan whenever he came.

"mother did not mind, the mother who proposed it since the beginning of March. And as for Firhan, I'll keep trying to help you. Don't worry about our house here. Later pinta pak Parman and mbok Lastri to occupy it."

I paused for a moment, breathing deeply. "I'm following dad's decision."

****

I arranged the rooms, this will be my final encounter with all the memories in every corner and the empty space in my house.

Two large suitcases have been transported to the car, after breakfast I will soon leave the pine house where I love so much. There are many memories here, but I agree with my father's opinion that sometimes we will feel depressed if we live in a house full of memories. I've made peace, but I appreciate dad's decision.

My breakfast was ravenous with passion, my three loves were absorbing nutrients through the food I swallowed, the fruits of the white water scum I never alerted them.

Dad has to stay, he has to take care of some of his stacked work before moving to the love city of mom and dad. In the car there was only me, mother and Mr. Parman as the driver.

This time I'm not as keen as I used to be, I need to be stronger so as not to affect the condition of my pregnancy. I swept away all the sights, all the shadows and memories were in my view, I kept all of them in my heart album, my eyes once looked at the handsome figure who came out of the car valiantly, he said, I once sat at the end of the yard when the contract was going to be carried out, I was held by Farhan down the long bridge, the first kiss at dusk and a loving night. One week with Firhan was too much fun, I can't forget that, until whenever I miss.

"is everything ready? Nothing left behind?" ask me from behind the half-open windshield.

"you later if someone misses mother ask father to queue to." protest mother with love tone, so said father when I asked why mother always respond to father's questions with protest. He said love.

Sometimes that is love, only our partner can admire it. When other people consider it less good, despicable, ugly, but our partner will say it is an extraordinary thing. The views of others and our partners are different.

Goodbye pine forest, goodbye my house, goodbye my balcony, goodbye everyone. I'll make sure that I go home, and I still want to wish my return here because of the arrival of a guest, a guest who has now lost track of his steps. Slowly the car left the yard of the house crowded with high pine plants, this scenery I will not get in the tea Pagilaran, where I live later.

I say goodbye to everyone who knows me every time a car drives across the place I go, my shop, Tiara's closed handmade bouquet, the smooth road. Should I say goodbye to a tree? I will miss this mood. And I hope I'm not disappointed with a decision from my father.