LIKA LIKU THE ACTOR

12. SATURATES

I am saturated and sultry with all this every day there is only a sense of resentment anger in my heart to mas dani plus the more absence of firmness from mas Dani I have begun to tire waiting for him.

From then on our relationship was more tenuous, communication was very rare, I also rarely nginep in kost melfri but not because mas Dani but I want to calm my heart.

that morning as usual I was sitting in the lower canteen near the office, already some days I was sitting alone without my friends because they were busy doing his work that was deadline. at that time I was accompanied by my 1st team junior adek he happened to smoke too so we both smoked coffee finally the stories and conversations we also connected his mouth the same as my mouth a little dirty when you speak

the next day was also the same I was accompanied by coffee with junior I call it Caca because he was skinny slow kempeng I call him malehoy. since then we often together even though sometimes I was with my friends but if the afternoon melfri and solboy rarely to the cafeteria so I went to the canteen with malehoy.

" malehoy. yok down". I said a little loudly

" ayok nyai. wait I clean up first '. replied meekly like to die

before long I waited for us to come down and hang out at the shop next door instead of the stall where I was the same melfri and solboy used to hang out. there's already his girlfriend the malehoy and his friends hanging out from other departments, I'm introduced one by one his friends. actually I already know with them because they are one office only different departments.

a few days passed I so often joined them hanging out in the shop next door may be said rarely hang out with melfri and solboy but our communication does not change just a different hangout.

that afternoon when I had lunch suddenly one of them asked for my HP number Without thinking I immediately gave him my WA contact number call it Jhon. at that time I thought it was okay to add friends and again the person liked to joke no one took it seriously because of his frivolous appearance.

my turmoil is already at the saturation point that I can no longer reveal with words where at that time mas Dani was no certainty even not only that mas Dani also rarely gave news it can even be said that there is no news at all if there is he just said to miss me and invite me to stay but that is not so I responded to the reason I work and must take care of the sick father, from there I began to think this relationship is only limited to lust not love because if love even though mas Dani has married there must be firmness but in fact the firmness is not for me but for his family who it's ugly Dani in front of me

" i'm stupid".I thought I was in my heart while hitting my own head

but if you think again 3 years is not a moment that I was willing to desperately survive and I did anything for mas Dani whether all that no longer means whether the sacrifice of the heart this is no more price? if you think that confusion and sadness skin my heart, how big is my love for mas Dani? It was so I asked the question that the bottom of my heart was now empty and empty.

" woy" said melfri

" what the hell is. bangst surprised me".I replied surprised

" what the hell is Lo daydreaming? going to sambet?" ask melfri back

" it's mah elo open me".I answered a little nyolot but jokingly

" yey. what the hell". said melfri kesel

we laughed together and I told Dani all the details of my problem to Melfri and only one came out of his mouth

" try to open your heart to other men. if you have opened it surely Lo can get out of this zone bian".

" but it's hard".I said again

" Lo can. I'm sure Because it hasn't been a good fit. There are still many bachelors out there and Lo is also not very bad". said melfri

actually, what my friend said was true may also be that I do not want to open my heart to other men, no one wants to, but on the other hand I am tired of starting over and knitting the relationship from the beginning again if there is a suitable one I do not want to be married for long

drettttt dretttt

"where's lesbian? dani wanna see you? mas Dani again there is a problem at home, later mas Dani pick ya up" he wrote in the message

I fell silent and I was confused as to what to do, my thoughts are chaotic and upset to get wa from mas Dani which in fact mas Dani is only WA if he has problems in his house and I am the one as his impingement

" was all this time I was just an impingement for mas Dani".

the message was only I ignored because I had started to get saturated and hate to mas Dani. I just realized all this time I was just for the impingement only, I'm so sorry and feel so stupid about this

drettttt dretttt

there was a call and it was from Dani mas a second I immediately reject I was determined not to respond to everything related to Dani, I was fed up with all this. I was sick of it but my phone kept ringing and it was from Dani mas but still I let it because there was no longer any desire to talk to Dani mas, the wound Dani gave me was so deep that I didn't know what it was like anymore

"hey". melfri surprised me

" anjk.. crazy Lo yes. if I'm a heart spot how?" I'm pissed off

" yeee.. sorry. it's my Dani phone he said Lo did not pick up² his phone". he told me about mas Dani

" yes on purpose. said nothing".I answered

" idhi.. I don't want boong ah". said melfri while leaving

" look out Lo ya". I said as I pointed at melfri

melfri laughed freely with a smile mocking me and I went back to work.

coincidentally, my JOB was finished at 5 pm and I asked the boss for permission to go home faster and my boss allowed me to go home on condition that there were no obstacles in my work after I came home.

I rushed home on the busway and I was calm because I wouldn't meet Dani mas but if I came home at 8 o'clock Dani would have been waiting for me in the parking lot

arriving at home I saw some incoming messages but not from mas Dani but from Jhon

" assalamu'alaikum. again what is bi? have you arrived home?". she wrote in the message

I was surprised that he knew I was coming home

" you know I'm home.I'm new to the house" replied my message

soon there was a call from Jhon and I immediately picked up and we talked a few things and I enjoyed the communication.