Indigo Eye Diary

Dilemmas

Reza still hugged me tightly, she wiped my tears as well. He kissed my forehead with a sincere feeling. I let her kiss me even I actually felt that kiss. Reza looked me in the eye and held both of my cheeks. He looked into my eyes with meaningful eyes. I looked into her eyes filled with sadness and regret.

"I'm sorry I became a criminal. I'm really sorry for what I've been doing all this time. I don't seem worthy to live in this world Key." she said softly with tears.

"Reza you have to take responsibility for your actions" I said.

"I can't stand it if I'm in Key's prison."

"But to make up for all your mistakes Rez."

"Key do you still love me?" reza's question this time confused me.

"Jawab Key I need your answer, I know your decision was never serious. Because I know you still love me so much. Is that Key?" I still didn't answer Reza's question. I am confused by my feelings at the moment. Maybe he's right I've never been serious about parting from him.

"About Vika?" suddenly I asked about her relationship with Vika.

"Key Vika was the one who made me realize that I had lost her husband's life. I just wanted to protect her because I realized that my actions had hurt her. And everything I did to her was solely because of our agreement." she explained.

"But Rez your treatment of him is not like an ordinary person." I snapped.

"You jealous?" reza's question made me feel wrong.

I was silent to Reza's question.

"So you're really jealous of Key? that means your love's still on my side, Key." Reza smiled at me.

"Reza do you know who Bi Siti really is?" my many.

"Yes I know,"

"What's? you know she's your mother?" many wonder.

"Yes Key." she answered.

I took a long breath.

"Where are your parents going?"

"He left me when I was 6."

"Died you mean?" my many.

"They were plane crashes." he explained.

"Then Bi Siti?"

"Yes since both of my foster parents died I've only lived with her both. And he said I was his real son."

Reza's still on my shoulder. I see the day getting darker.

"Reza I'm afraid we shouldn't seek help."

"If I seek help, it's called Key's death. The police will find me here."

"Then what about our fate here?"

Reza pulled my hand and calmed me down.

"Key calm down while I'm here you're safe."

"But I'm afraid of Rez."

"Sssst here I hug." Reza pulled my body and held it close in her arms. I felt very calm in his arms. But I can't let this all happen. I let go of a very comfortable hug for me.

"Why Key?" ask Reza.

"I'm me."

"That's not what I meant by Rez, but."

"But what?"

"I'm confused by myself Rez."

"I love you Key, more than anything. Even if I die I will always love you." Reza's words make me crumble.

"I know I'm a criminal and you don't deserve to love a criminal like me. But I'm really sincere in loving you." again Reza's words made me very fragile.

"Reza I still love you as much as I used to" I said in a soft tone. Reza was surprised to hear my voice. He smiled at me with happiness. He pulled my hand and kissed her.

"Thank you Key, but I'm sorry I couldn't look after you like a normal person. Now my life is full of police pursuits. I'm a fugitive. But when I know that you still love me. I'll be more calm and willing with whatever happens to me."

I shed my tears on his lap. I want us to be together forever. But I think this is all impossible. I couldn't be with him comfortably. I will love him only with his shadow. He will never be with me either. He had to live with the sins he had been through. And I never could have wished that he was always by my side.

"Key don't cry, remember I'll always love you. I don't want you to dissolve in your sadness. My sins are too great and I don't want to add any more sins because it has made me sad."

"Reza, is it possible that our love cannot be united?" my many.

"You know I'm a fugitive. I might just keep looking after you."

"But at least you can give yourself Reza."

"Given up we can't unite, I'll be in jail for the rest of my life."

"Dome!!!" my heart felt very sad to hear his words.

I wiped my tears many times, Reza still calmed me down.

"Key I don't want you to always be haunted by my actions, I want you to be calm with your life. Live without the terrors of astral beings that always bother you."

I have no power to hear the words of Reza. I saw it was really dark. I was getting cold and scared with the surroundings. Reza held me tight. I let it go and put my head on her shoulder. I closed my eyes tired of tears.

It didn't feel like the day was starting early, but I fell asleep here last night. I saw Reza's shoulder still on my back. Kulrikik Reza is still asleep with his sleep. My body started to shiver I was cold. I woke Reza from her sleep.

"Rez woke up Rez was early." I looked at the clock on my hand already at 5 a.m.

"Ahhhhhh, did we fall asleep here, Key?" ask Reza astonished. I just nodded my head.

"Key you're cold, right? we're looking for firewood for a campfire." he said.

"Don't Rez." my dear.

"Why?" ask Reza astonished.

"I'm afraid that if we start a fire, someone will know where we are here" I said.

"Have you calmed the fire is only small, no one will know. Are you not hungry? we're looking for fish around here." take it with me while pulling my hand.

I just say his word. Though there was doubt that enveloped my heart. But I keep trying to think positively. I don't want to get too late in this sadness. I walked behind Reza gathering the firewood I was looking for.

"Key are you okay?" reza asked, seeing my face pale.

"Yes." Yeah."

"You sick Key?" reza asked confusedly seeing my face tired.

"I'm just tired maybe."

"But your face is so pale Key. We sit down and I'll find you a place." Reza immediately carried my body by walking very fast.

I saw Reza's face this close to mine. I also saw Reza worried about me. Even though yesterday I made him angry with me.