I Want to Be Happy, too

Episode 33

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Along the way I was a lot silent, while Dani had been trying to invite me to chat.But I only answered as necessary, I never hid my disappointment again tonight.

Just now that he and I made up, the night he came back to make me disappointed for the umpteenth time,once he was given a chance and I forgive him equally I gave him the opportunity to repeat the same mistake.

Maybe because of annoyance, since I just answered him as necessary.Dani then pulled his bike on the side of the road.

"Naima......"

"I know I let you down, but at least give me a chance to explain" he said.

"Make what?"

"I felt it was a waste to forgive you Dani."

"I've been lacking all this time? I've forgiven you and given you a chance for us.But what I get now, you keep me disappointed and disappointed continue."

"We don't think I'm tired, keep understanding you, I'm tired" I continued.

"Maybe until now our relationship, I just want to go home to my parents."

"No, I won't let you go home.I don't want to part with you,"

"You have to believe in me, Naima.I really love you.I married you not just a fad or anything" he continued.

"That's it,"

"That's all you said when you got caught by me.''

"I'm tired now, I want to go home quickly to rest."

"I've told you before, we are both adults now.You must already know which is best for our future relationship and which is not good." I continued.

"I know, I have no right to your heart.But if I'm no longer dear to you, please return me to my parents' house.How you asked me when you proposed to me."

Dani was silent and just looked at me.Actually I want to know, the reason why he could fall into his world like this.Is it a factor of the environment or what.

"I'm just as hurt right now, I also want to live a normal life as any other man.I don't want to live like this, either, what if my parents know that his son is gay."

"They'll be disappointed in me and throw me out or won't even think of me as his son anymore" he continued.

"What exactly happened to you? There must be a reason, right?"

"I was traumatized, I used to be a victim as well when I was in school at Junior High."

"You mean?" ask me.

"I'm not ready to tell you that yet,"

"Why? Why aren't you ready to tell me now?" ask me back.

"I'm ashamed,"

"I am your wife, why should you be ashamed of me?"

"To be honest, I was a victim of my gay teacher, and she harassed me and some other students,"

"Maybe since then, I've become addicted to having relationships with same-sex people.More so when I stepped on 3rd grade, I was even close to junior students who are same-sex."

I was very surprised to hear his explanation, so this was the first reason he could be like this right now.

"Meaning then, indirectly you'll be hard-pressed to change and get out of your world?"

"No......"

"I also want to recover and live a normal life like a man in general.But it is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand, I have difficulty and enough for me to suffer too." he continued.

"That's why I say to you, think about what's best for our relationship in the future.Not that I want to get away from you, it's just that I'm hurt just like you."

"Which wife will still be fine, after knowing all.But you yourself do not change and keep repeating it.Sick, I can't bear to keep it alone.Sometimes I want to complain to someone.''

"But if I tell you a story, it's the same way I tell my own husband's ugliness." I continued.

Dani then pulled me up and hugged me tightly.She was crying in my arms.

"I promise to try to change and not repeat it."

I can only be silent, my mind is dead-end and I can't think anymore.

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The next morning I woke up in a state of Dani still hugging me tightly.I tried to let go of his embrace, I intend to take a shower and make breakfast for him.

"Don't let go of my embrace,"

"I'm afraid you'll leave me." he continued.

"No, I'm going to take a shower and cook for breakfast." I said.

After a while, Dani finally let go of his embrace.I immediately took a towel hanging behind the door, after that I just took a shower.

In the bathroom and thinking again, I was confused by the decision I would take later.I felt a sense of indecision in my heart, on the one hand I was hurt by his behavior.But on the other hand, on the other hand, I felt a sense of anxiety in my heart,I feel sorry for Dani, she must be more hurt now.

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Dani went downstairs to help Mr. Jaki.Had happened to ask Dani for help to help him bring his son's belongings to his home.

I also chose to sit in front of the rented while looking at the passing vehicle that did not stop passing.

"Eh mba Naima, I'm just here alone?Why not just play down, even though from earlier I was alone loh.." said mba Nur who just came.

"Nothing, I just saw the traffic on the road."

"Oh yes, if not wrong look earlier I saw mas Dani there.Emangnya he did not work?" ask her.

"No,"

"Every night he was hot and had time to vomit as well.I suggested for him rest and permission not to go to work today "

"I'm sorry yes mba, I don't mean to lie to you.Only, the situation that does not allow me to tell the truth is the same mba." I whispered in my heart.

"Oh well deserved,"

"But how, he even left earlier with Jaki sir?"

"It's not good either, especially earlier Jaki sir deliberately approached my husband to ask for help.Where maybe we reject it," I explained.