I Need Restu

Eleven

"bang, it looks like I should try to contact papa and mama(both parents melia)bang, at least if we can not go there I try to call bang hopefully their response is good bang and can understand", I told bang irham

After my wedding day and bang irham just this time I tried to call mama, actually not unwilling to come there but the distance between the city where I live and bang irham with my parents is very far even by plane, it took days and it cost quite a lot that was a barrier for us to get there.

" well deck, hopefully their response is good and can understand our decision" said bang irham.

I tried repeatedly to call my mother's phone number to see if she was actually directing my phone, but I kept trying to try and finally mama turned off her phone, ahh what dayaku want it feels like I immediately come to them explain what happened to prostrate at their feet, God is that big my mistake I need to hear.

After my mother's phone was finally turned off I did not give up hope, I tried to contact papa's phone, once twice not answered when my father responded to my phone

"finally, I picked up my phone, how are you? " many

" sorry who this is" papa's response, I'm a little stuck with papa's response instead of papa knowing my phone number and saved

"it's melia pah" I said

"who's melia, sorry we don't know what's called melia" he said, turning off his phone.

How broken my heart, collapsed my world is. I felt like I was thrown at the edge of the abyss I don't know what to do, crying and crying and blaming myself, even a mistake of fate would be useless if I could choose I did not want to be in this position to choose to achieve the happiness of marrying the man of my choice the man I love but losing both my parents it is not even possible that my brother would do the same without asking for an explanation from me.

I'm still trying to call back papa's cell phone but nil the result papa helped deactivate his phone.

"already our deck will try another time, there is still tomorrow contact mama and papa" said bang irham trying to persuade me

"but bang, this is all they don't want to talk to me about" I said

" yeah deck you know, try again tomorrow maybe now they can not accept but we do not know how tomorrow" said bang irham calm me

" it's not you who is a natural bang, if this is you is also your response" I said do not accept

" and what does he want, what should my brother do? Ask bang irham

"i don't know, brother doesn't understand because this is not the case with brother, brother can only say patient patience, try brother is in my position" I said not accept

"it's all also your fault deck, if that day you did not go to the house asking for marriage this will not be like this" said bang irham brought up my mistake asking him to marry me

" o Allah bang, if indeed marrying me is only a compulsion already bang, do you regret marrying me? I asked if apparently the quarrel could not me and bang irham avoid,

" that's not what the deck brother meant, understand" bang irham tried to give in

"understand how bang? What I have to understand, isn't it my own brother who promised to marry me until when I should understand, it's my own brother who told my parents to promise to marry me this year, forbid me to accept the proposal how many men come to my adoptive parents, then what's wrong with me asking for certainty and indeed if that night I did not talk to mother and father not necessarily now we are married that there brother just said patient patience with me without any effort" I said at length

"yes, I'm sorry" said bang irham.

My love trumps everything I don't know right now I'm on the wrong or right path it all feels hard, it's hard, it won the path that I have chosen but it does not all feel heavy as if I am standing on one leg, seeing the response from bang irham as if it is all my fault or indeed it is purely my fault

I realized if time could be turned I would fix all this, I knew I had let my parents down I was ruining their dreams, I remembered the words of mama who wanted to marry their daughters to make a party at home, because this salama mama and papa never made a party but I had destroyed everything.

Do I not deserve their forgiveness, nor should they listen to my explanation even though I am guilty here

I know if it's not good, but let me try at least in my imagination.

After my fight with bang irham, I just kept quiet my ego was too high a start all

"already deck, brother wrong brother apologized" said bang irham apologized to me, I just kept quiet without responding

"dek, talk deck don't inhabit this brother" said bang irham again, I was still silent

"dek, please do not have to respond brother so, brother knows brother wrong should brother not talk so" said bang irham again hope I do not just keep quiet,

"i know I was wrong, but I'm here to also need my brother's support, not to blame me" I said in tears

" yes deck brother knows, sorry brother does not mean brother so deck but this is a new adek one time call we can still try tomorrow adek also please understand this problem is solved with a cool head" said bang irham to me, my tears could no longer bear to flow so hard trying to understand and understand the meaning of bang irham.

The night after the magrib prayer, it turns out that my father contacted me I had thought about scolding me or how I was silent about the dilemma between answering papa's phone or not,

"answer the deck, we don't know what you're going to say if you don't talk, isn't that what you want? Papa called sendri there must be a point" said bang irham while handing over my phone, I also answered papa's call

"iya pah" my response was slowly unprepared with papa's response

"yes son this papa, sorry was the response papa so earlier papa again with mom" said papa

"mama why reward, what is the anger of mama to not want to hear my explanation?" ask me to papa

" you know son, you are wrong you also know how your mother whatever her decision can not be challenged" said papa

"yes I know, but I also have the right to explain the reward" I said again

" yes son, patience all takes time, slow down, all is not as easy as turning the palm of the child" said papa

"yes I understand please forgive me" said I who currently can not hold the clear details that are getting louder from my eyes

"yes, son, you guys have been healthy there, be patient and pray a lot" said papa and then turn off his phone.

Here I understand more and more all is not as easy as I want hopefully in the future everything is made easy and can get back better