I'll wait for your promise

Heart Wound 2

A bright morning. Birds twittering. They seemed happy to welcome morning. Unlike me, my heart is not as bright as this morning. I can't welcome this morning as happily as the birds. Just a small smile I can give you right now. I really want to fly with them. Take away this wound and throw it far at the end there. Until I came back happy. Disa came, woke me up from the daydream. I want to complain, but how to start. On this terrace we often sat together. This place is quite comfortable to get rid of fatigue in the heart. There are several flower pots neatly arranged on the shelf. Moon orchid flowers attached to the trunk of the honey mango tree. In the past, I attached the orchid flowers. When I was a kid, my friends and I used to go around the house asking for flowers and replanting them on this terrace. That shelf I made with a used board. Now it has been replaced iron shelves patterned leaves. I went back to daydreaming, until Disa woke me up many times. My body still feels weak to enjoy the beautiful morning. I went to the room without saying a word to Disa.

He called for breakfast together. If I can choose, I don't want to leave the room. But I don't want to worry them either. At the dinner table, everyone seemed happy to enjoy breakfast. Huft. But I also don't want to get sick and trouble them. Enough of my heart aches, my body must not go along with the pain. After eating, I went back to my room. I want to be alone. Disa approached me again. Wanted to feel angry. I don't want to be disturbed!!! But this is Disa's room too. We slept together here. I have no reason to be angry with him.

“There's Dayat outside. He wants to take us for a walk. You want to?” Disa's approaching.

“Ngak. You only.” I turned my face.

“You are why! From yesterday, how do you stay alone? Upset Mas Anto rarely contacts you again?” He was sitting next to me.

“Ngak. Not because of that.” I'm bowed. This salt water is dripping back.

“Terus…? Why are you crying? There must be a problem with Mas Anto.” Disa held my shoulder.

I'm nodding. These tears are flowing more and more. I can't help it. It feels so heavy I'm going.

“What problem do you have?” Is getting serious.

Spontaneously I hugged Disa, sobbing. Disa stroked my back, trying to calm me down.

“Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help. If you cry constantly.. the problem will not be finished.”.

I tried to stop these tears. Take a deep breath. Take HP on the table. I'm showing you a text from a number that doesn't have the sender's name. Hope this text can represent my feelings.

- Hey, CHEAP CHICK. Don't try2 km ggu Anto lg. Dy it nggk prnah love sma kmu. Love dy cma bwt ak. Kmu tuh cm where his impingement aj. Immediately I am getting married, I AM PREGNANT WITH ANTO'S CHILD. So STOP INTERRUPTING ANTO AGAIN.

I can read it over and over again. Trying to understand the point. Finished reading, I also showed you some sms from Mas Anto.

- Dif, sorry you have to break up.

- I don't love you the same. I want to marry another girl.

- Don't call me lg.

- Don't bother me lg.

- Forget everything we've done.

- I have no lust for you.

- I don't care about girls who can't layanin me.

“Astagfirullah...” Can cover his mouth with the palm of the hand, “What does this mean, Dif?”

My cry grew louder, hearing Disa's question. How to explain it, that I've done something with Mas Anto.

“You're the same as him? Why never tell?” Disa scrunched her forehead. Requesting answers. “Since when did you guys date?”

“Udah is not important discussed, Dis! Now we have broken up. You read it yourself, he cut me.” Reply asenggut.

“If I thought this was the story, he'd gone too far. You forget him.”

I was crying harder. It's not that easy to forget about Mas Anto. Why doesn't Disa want to understand my feelings?

His head shook at me. “Ngapain anyway, you are crying for the person who has already hurt your heart. This sms has proven that he is not a good guy. All this time he's only made you a place of impingement. Now he's cheating, even getting married. The girl was pregnant first again.” My twin snorted in annoyance. Disappointment was very visible on his face.

“I did not expect Mas Anto setega that. It's not good what I tried all this time. If you don't like it, he should be honest. Why would he give false hope? Why would he play with my love?”

Disa approached and hugged while gently stroking my head. His mind recollected back on Mas Anto's sms. He read it back.

“Dif, if you can know during the courtship you have done anything? So Mas Anto smsnya like that? You guys don't fuck around, do you?” His look made me feel guilty.

“I'm sorry, Dis? We've already done it. That disgusting thing?” I looked down, embarrassed and disappointed. My regrets are mounting.

“What!!! You guys did what? You gave your virginity to her?”

“That means almost?”

“She's almost done, but I turned her down.”

“Alhamdulillah, thank goodness you are still a virgin. You almost crossed the line.”

“But..”.

“Why!!” He looks at me seriously.

“She touched it. That part and I also hold got him.” These tears of regret were unceasingly flowing.

“What!! Why are you doing that?”

“He asked for it, Dis. And I got carried away too. I was consumed by the lust that drove me to do that. He said that when he was in love, it was okay to do it. Stupidly I was Dis, believing the words of that jerk and letting him play with my body. I'm sorry, Dis?”

“Astagfirullah, Difa! Why are you so stupid. Believe in the devil. Fortunately not until your virginity is lost, try if you do that and you are pregnant. And now there is another woman who is pregnant with him too. How is your fate. What about our family's good name. I didn't like that guy from the beginning. He is a human demon. Why the hell, you can love the wrong person. Love has blinded your heart, so you can't see which guys are good and which ones are bad. People like that do not deserve you tangisin let alone you fight.” The anger of the girl in front of me was clear. His face was full of disappointment. Yes, I realize his frustration with me. He hugged me back.

“Stop crying, Difa! Sorry if I'm angry. I'm disappointed in you, but it's too late. Now repent, ask God for forgiveness and never do that stupid thing again. Cleanse yourself with penitential prayer and improve yourself. That's all I can tell you. May Allah forgive your sins.” Disa let go of her embrace and wiped away the tears that had already flooded my cheeks and clothes.

“Why is Mas Anto as evil as me, Dis? Is my fault with him. Why he played with my love. I'm disappointed Dis, so disappointed? I'm so sorry I loved him.”

“Already.... already..maybe this is a hint from God that he is not a man who deserves you. God will replace him with a better one. Now stop crying. Don't waste your life on someone like him. Better now we have fun. At home, you can keep stressing her mind. Block the numbers and keep trying to forget them. The door is always open for you.” They stopped their activities. “Face washing.” Tell Disa.

Just as I was about to go to the bathroom, Mas Fikri came over to us. “You know what to do. Long time. Kasian Dayat waited for me. Come cepetan.” For a moment he looked at me, “Loh, Difa you why are you crying?” Mas Fikri held both of my shoulders, looking at me, making sure his vision was not wrong.

“Again heartbroken, Mas! Better not to be disturbed first.” Saying Disa represents me. “We get ready for a moment. Wait, Mas came too right?” Can tidy up his bag.

“Bby too. Indeed want to walk where.”

“Ndon't know. Just ask Dayat.”

“Ok. We wait outside. Cepetan.”

~*~

True said Disa. By traveling like this I can be a little amused. At least I can stop crying. Forgetting a moment of pain in the heart. A day of walking in Ancol made us very tired. After being satisfied by boat, we enjoyed the beautiful beach in the afternoon. Waiting for the sun to fall on the western foot. Not to forget I bought various kinds of souvenirs for souvenirs when I came home later. Dayat helped me pick out some bracelets and key chains. While Disa and Mas Fikri are busy choosing clothes for themselves. Coming home from Ancol, Mas Fikri took us to dinner at his favorite cafe.

“If you can anyway, we go home until late at night only.” My love.

“Why? You are not satisfied with the streets.” Ask Mas Fikri. Even if he knows the real reason.

Disa who knows my situation just smiles glancing.

“We must be home late at night. The journey is still far.” Obviously my cousin, without waiting for an answer.

At the cafe, we met some friends of Mas Fikri. While waiting for the food to come, he left the three of us to meet his friends. They look very familiar. My cousin's sister told me, This cafe is where you hang out since college. At least once a week they come here. The glasses guy left his chair for a long time. Until the food was cold, he did not return. He was joking with Dayat. I feel lonely again. I stir fried rice that is still intact, this mind is not going anywhere. Unknowingly the rice was scattered on the table.My twin called out many times, but like a dream. I don't realize what's been going on. I only realized when someone held my hand. I looked up, and Dayat called me.

“You're fine with Dif.” Tanya Dayat and Disa in unison.

I looked at them taking turns. What's up with them. So compact? This situation makes me curious. What happened during my daydreaming? Mas Fikri came, he immediately ate his food. The three of us stared at Mas Fikri at the same time. He seems to be very hungry.

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Author laparr.. rest first, let's eat, let's get fat.

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