I'll wait for your promise

Run 3

A bunch of flowers after buying it. Fresh flowers are very fragrant, they are hallucinations. This flower will be given to Mas Anto when meeting at the graduation building later. Now he must be going through a graduation procession. Me and my friends are gonna be together in an hour. I can't wait at the gate of the campus. One by one they came. Some people are seen wearing formal clothing. Actually the graduation building is not far away, but coming together will feel more fun. In this cream sling bag stored a digital camera for photos there. On a special day do not miss the opportunity to get a photo of a man who is now a mooring of the heart.

The group of black-robed men exited the building when we arrived, the figure we were waiting for was among them. She looked so sweet with a happy smile. I immediately gave her flowers and congratulated her. By showing the camera he already knew that the girl in front of him wanted a photo together. Some photos have been taken. Many times I look at the camera, rehashing our style.

A week after graduation, Mas Anto left for Surabaya. Me and my friends drove him to the terminal. I was always by his side until the bus came. With sadness we let go of her. Before entering the bus, Mas Anto took off his hat from my head. As soon as it got out, my hair was broken. “It turns out you're beautiful too if you're not pigmented. The hat just for me yes.” Mas Anto smiled as he ruffled my thick hair and advised me to take good care of myself. I have never broken my hair. Although long, but prefers to wear a hat. I smiled widely and nodded steadily at his words. This heart increasingly feels like someone special among others. I was constantly waving my hands, until one by one my friends left. I stood still, looking at the bus between the cities that were getting away. This heart is still not sincere with his departure. A single tear flowed without my permission, recalling memories that might be very hard to forget. When will we meet again.

I turned, with a troubled heart towards the parking lot. Dare not show sadness, pretend the way down. But my steps stopped when I saw the shoes of someone I knew stopped blocking. I raised my head, looking at him in wonder.

“Sad that you left Anto?” He said, he returned my gaze.

“Why don't you seem to like our relationship? Do you really like me?” Me, sure.

“Not! Not because I like you, let alone jealous. I just don't want you to be hurt.” He approached me, looking at me more and more seriously. “I love you, but I don't expect to get your love back either. For me, being good friends is enough. But I also don't want you to be hurt because of him. I've known him longer than you. Since our Junior High together, until the ugliness I know very well. He's not a good man for you.”

“Indeed what's bad about him?” I scrunched my forehead.

“Replace couples.”

“You mean play boy!!!”

“More than that. And I don't want you to be the victim. So I hope you rethink your relationship with him.”

I was stunned, shocked to hear the statement of the man standing right in front of me. Is it that bad as Mas Anto? My shadow soared a few days ago.

The day after graduation, Mas Anto took me for a walk to celebrate his graduation. We went to a Curug not far from the city. Just the two of them, enjoying the view of a very swift waterfall. The tourist attractions are not crowded, because this is not a weekend. On a big rock, we sat together like lovers. Yes, on top of that hard object Mas Anto expressed love for me and asked me to be her lover. I smiled, nodding my love sign with pleasure. Not satisfied just looking at the water that always flows from the top of the cliff, the man who is now my lover also invites swimming.

I shook my head, “I can't swim, Mas.”

“Quietly, there will be me. We are swimming in a shallow place, just wet.” He's convinced.

Slowly the man went down the stone, where we were sitting. His feet started touching the water. Find a suitable position to stand. After being comfortable with his position, his hand grabbed me, asking to come down. With his help, I arrived at the right position. We were looking for a comfortable place to play. Every now and then we deliberately drown ourselves, wetting the whole body. They splashed water and pretended to swim. We unwittingly approached the deeper water. Mas Anto changed position, now he was behind me, beside me wading through the water with a hug. We are still filled with pleasure. Until I realized my lover's hand was already in the shirt, hugging my stomach. I turned my face, looked at him. He smiled and I returned his smile.

There are no words spoken, only body movements that represent our feelings. I slowly felt one of his hands creeping upwards, touching the chest, gently squeezing. I'm shocked! Turn around, look at him. He gave a kiss. I was silent, still staring at him. For the second time to land a kiss with his tongue.

“Mas!” I'm appalled.

He did not care about me, returning with another action while hugging me tighter. I am powerless to refuse it. Not what I did. The quiet atmosphere accompanied by the singing of water, made me follow the game.

My daydream stopped with a pat on the shoulder.

Deg

What am I supposed to say? It's too late, we've done it. My mind floated back.

“Dif, diff, diffa.” My shoulders are back. His eyes were suspecting me.

“Mas know where he is like that? Don't you lie.” I tried to defend my beloved, though this heart confirmed Mas Ibram's statement.

“Have been caught several times in different places.” He looked down, disappointed. “Actually I feel disgusted with him, annoyed, angry. But I could not do anything, when they answered my advice with the phrase ‘ in the name of love’ I was only able to stroke the chest.” Regret was clearly visible on his face.

I did so, too, in the name of love which brought me into error. I also felt disgusted by this body, but very ashamed to reveal the truth to the men I had been away from because of Mas Anto's incitement. It turned out that he told me to avoid Mas Ibram for this reason, my lover was afraid of his ugliness being exposed from his best friend. Regrets piled on my mind. A huge disappointment now enveloped the heart. How foolish I am, to do such a disgusting thing just because I love him so much. I wanted to apologize to this man in front of me, but the ego wouldn't allow it. Still afraid to admit this truth.

Mas Ibram turned around, “Now we go home and I hope you can soon forget it.”

“If he's that bad, why do you still want to be friends with him, Mas?”

“Color as a friend, he is a very good friend. But as a couple, she is a very bad lover.” We walked in tandem.

“I don't believe you, Mom. He's been so good to me all along. I'm sure you're just making up stories to keep us apart. I believe he's a good man.” My eyes glazed over at him. Slowly the salty water dripped on both cheeks. ”I go home first, Mas.” Upon arrival in the parking lot I quickly put on a helmet and turn on the motorbike.

“Be careful, Dif? Sorry for hurting you. I still hope you believe in me.” Mas Ibram was standing right next to my bike. He led me away with his eyes. I also left the man.

For several days Mas Anto was still a hot topic among the community. They remember each other in grief with the man who loved to tinker with our motorbike while gathering. She texts and calls me more and more, telling me about her new job and her new relationship. Sometimes I miss my friends at home. Mas Anto was the story, was pursuing his hidden talent, namely painting by showing the pictures he made, but never confident to become a painter.

When I spoke to him on the phone, I wanted to ask him the truth about Mas Ibram's story. But I'm afraid he won't be honest. On the other hand, my brain always reminds me of that incident. Eager to ask, ‘how many women have you treated like me?’. I also want to reassure him that what he does is love or lust. It's very painful for me. First time feeling love instantly tainted. I already love the wrong people. At first I tried to trust him that this was proof of our love. However, after hearing his best friend's statement, I was devastated that he not only did it with me, but there were already several women. This secret I keep tight. If anyone knew, they'd say I'm a fool for sacrificing self-esteem in the name of love. They'll also consider me a cheap girl. I could only cry alone, feeling this wound. Silently in the darkness of the night, I confided to the Creator, the Most Forgiving of the sins of His servants. Above the prayer rug incessantly produces tears of penance.

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The reading should not be while daydreaming huh buddy... later not jam-finished loh?? I missed the next story.

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