I Can Without You

3. Flashbacks

Shofi rubbed Keinan's head which was currently soundly asleep next to him. Sitting leaning against his bed headboard, Shofi's mind glared far away, recalling all the memories he had gone through long ago.

Shofi who does have a typical cake, never dating at all. Shofi prefers to focus on his education. After graduating from college and getting a job. Shofi still chose to focus on his work and was not interested in the name of a romantic relationship.

Actually, since he was in college, many of his male friends tried to get close to Shofi. And so is his male friend in the office at the moment. But that's how Shofi, he still chose to be indifferent. Shofi prefers to be able to boost his family's economy first.

Especially after his father had an accident and died, then Shofi was increasingly determined to work hard to help the mother in financing the education of his younger brother who was still in High School.

Until finally Shofi lost on his character as a woman. More attention is always given by one of his male friends in the office over time finally managed to touch the heart of Shofi and make Shofi began to feel the name of love.

He is Bayu. Her gentle and always attentive figure, was finally able to melt Shofi's heart. One year into a relationship, Shofi and Bayu then steadily decided to get married.

The married life of Shofi and Bayu is harmonious and affectionate. Shofi also has in-laws who love him. A year and a half after their marriage, Shofi and Bayu were finally blessed with a healthy and handsome boy.

But unfortunately, without Shofi ever guessing before, Bayu suddenly said that he wanted to divorce Shofi. Shofi still remembers what happened that night. Exactly one month after the birth of Keinan.

The flashback

"Shofi, I'm sorry, but Mas wants a divorce from you" Bayu said after he returned home from the office.

Shofi who had just put her baby to bed was so shocked to hear her husband's words.

"Ma-mas Bayu, what the hell is that? Is it kidding, huh?" shofi asked nervously, but was still trying to think positively.

"Nobody's kidding, Shofi. Mas serious. I want us to get divorced" said Bayu.

Like being struck by lightning during the day, Shofi was completely shocked and it was hard to believe his own hearing at this time.

"Sorry Shofi. Mas know Mas selfish for deciding all this without asking for approval from you first. But really, Mas can no longer continue this marriage of ours" Bayu said.

"Why Mas? Why do you suddenly want to get divorced?" shofi asked in a voice that was already shaking withstanding the cries.

"The woman I loved is back. And sorry, Mas can't lie to Mas's own heart that Mas still loves him so much. So please, Shofi, please let Mas achieve the real happiness of Mas" Bayu explained.

Shofi tried to digest her husband's every word.

"What is this, Mom? The woman that I love? Achieving real happiness? Then all this time we ..." Shofi asked in confusion.

"One more time I'm sorry, Shofi. Admit all this time I've been guilty of you. Actually from the beginning Mas did only make you as an escape only. But unexpectedly, over time, Mas ended up getting swept away with our feelings and comfort in our relationship. Due to the insistence of the family to get married soon, and Mas who is comfortable with you, so Mas decided to marry you."

"And now when he finally returns, Mas is already trying to ignore him and still maintain our household. But it turns out Mas can't lie to Mas's own heart, Shofi. She still loves him very much. Moreover, now he was also ready to establish a serious relationship with Mas. So sorry, Shofi, sorry because Mas finally decided to divorce you and prefer her," Bayu explained with regret.

Shofi smiled blandly. Empty views. Shofi was crying in silence. Still can't believe the harsh reality he's facing right now.

"Then all this time Mas said love is with me, our harmonious marriage, and also Keinan, what is all this, Mas?" shofi Lirih.

"Sorry, Shofi. Please forgive me. Really trying. But I can't lie to my heart. So Mas ask the same of you, please let Mas achieve the happiness of Mas, Shofi," pinta Bayu.

Shofi laughed in his tears.

"Go, Mas. Go awayl. Keinan and I don't need a cowardly liar like you" sarcophagus Shofi, numb.

"Once again please forgive Mas, Shofi."

After saying so, Bayu then turned around and stepped out of their room.

Shofi laid down his body next to his one-month-old son. Shofi's body trembled violently because of his crying. Shofi cries, lamenting that his married life should suddenly run aground. Everything was like a nightmare that suddenly came to him.

And so. Three months later, Shofi and Bayu were officially divorced. Keinan custody of course falls to Shofi, because Bayu does not intend to take Keinan from Shofi. Even Shofi also refused monthly allowances from Bayu for Keinan and himself. Shofi is still able to live Keinan with his own sweat and does not want to bother Bayu who he said wants to pursue his happiness.

According to the news heard by Shofi, Bayu finally married the woman he loved and the two moved abroad. Shofi himself finally decided to resign from his company and moved to work at another company. Yes, Shofi wants to forget all his memories with his ex-husband at the company.

Flashback off

☘️☘️☘️

Again Shofi wiped away the tears that had soaked his face. Shofi could only cry in silence. Not wanting to disturb Keinan's deep sleep next to him.

Ah, finally Shofi understood why his mother seemed to approve when she was about to marry Bayu. Maybe at that time his mother already had a bad feeling about Shofi's future marriage life, which turned out to be over and ran aground.

Shofi also understood why Bayu's older sister seemed unable to accept him, even after Keinan's birth. New Shofi know that it turns out that Bayu's older sister had already known from the beginning about the woman loved by Bayu, and also about Shofi who was only made an escape by Bayu.

But even so, Shofi also did not deny that his two former in-laws were very kind and affectionate with him. Even until now. Once a month, the two former in-laws will definitely come to visit and visit Keinan.

Shofi certainly doesn't mind. Because Shofi realized, after all, the two of them were Keinan's grandparents. So it's only natural that they both love Keinan.

Both of her former in-laws, even her own mother, have repeatedly advised Shofi to reopen her heart and remarry. For the sake of the future and happiness Keinan as well, because Keinan definitely needs the figure of a father.

But I don't know, it feels like Shofi's heart is numb. The first time Shofi opened the door of his heart, it turned out that in the end it was only failure and sadness that Shofi got, defeating the momentary happiness that Shofi had felt before. That's why it's so hard for the shofi to be able to open the door again. It seems that Shofi no longer believes in the name of love. Shofi even hesitated, is true love still there?