HIM, MY BEST FRIEND

Love Statement

I sat on the basement bench. I take a deep breath. My heart beats so fast. I can't go back to class now.

Harry sent me those messages?

Wh-wh-what for? I opened my phone screen lock.

I read those messages again.

Is this a statement of love?

Harry's? Make me?

It's like an impossibility.

We were even closer than a girlfriend. We can share any story. Can joke as badly as it is. Can cursing at each other without censorship. Can lend each other shoulders to lean on. Even we could not tell the embarrassment of duetting with our crisp voices. What else does he want?

Bell rings. I don't want to have to go back to class. Harry and Kurnia were already sitting on their benches when I came in. And how lucky I was, when Bu Neni gave us so many tasks that kept us busy ourselves. Even until the bell of school was heard, we were still doing endless tasks.

"Ri, I'll come to your house later in the afternoon, yes" said Dewi. "There's so much I don't understand."

"Yes, come on" I said with a smile.

I'm happy with the Goddess's change. He is rarely seen coming home with Gita and other friends. He also used to come to my house to study together.

As soon as Bu Neni said hello and left the class, I immediately followed her out.

...

"Kurnia said, you are here" Harry said at the door of the PMR studio.

Si Om how the hell, use say-say.

Yes, of course Kurnia knew I was in the hangar, because she told me to make a quiz for the day after tomorrow.

I was writing, stopping my activities for a while.

"Is there a need?" the one who was still upset did not allow him to enter.

"I want to apologize." said Harry.

"Sister Riri, Ega came out first huh," my underclassman who was working on medicine immediately understood that Harry wanted to have a serious talk with me.

"No, Ga. If it's just the two of us, the third one will be Satan." I said I didn't want to be left behind.

"Ish, Brother," Ega came out nodding at Harry.

"I don't know if you're really upset about those messages" he started our conversation.

"I didn't mean to play you with that. I'm serious." he said, staring intensely at me.

"Seriously for what? Destroying our friendship?" I said, shaking my waist in front of the door.

"I'm serious, Ri. I really like you. From the past."

"Har, dengerin ya.. You know, I'm different from your girls. You know I must be like how. I'm not going to sacrifice our friendship with. ah. never mind." the heat of my chest.

"Is that so inappropriate for you, Ri?" tanyakanya.

I let out a breath.

"You're perfect, Har. There is nothing less than you. You handsome, pinter, shale son, kind hearted, loyal friend. Nothing is less. What's lacking is just the taste I have for you."

"Is this because it's not me you like?" he asked with a sad face.

"What the hell?" myrag.

"You're talking because what you're hoping for is that love isn't me. You want Ahmad to say gini?" there was a vibration in his voice. I know he's holding back emotions.

"Don't get him in this, '" I don't like him saying that name as if it's an excuse for me to reject him.

"Clearly he was called. I know, you were jumping because you saw him as Gita, right?"

I thought, she must have seen that. He was just a couple of pin points away from me.

"I've asked you, please spare him. He doesn't pant for you" he pleaded.

"Whose turf did pantes for me? You?" I laughed mockingly.

"Please, Ri..," she suddenly dropped down, kneeling before me. "Outside him..."

"Eh, don't gini. I don't like it. Wake up!" my orders. Thankfully, no one is here. If there is, we will be a spectacle.

"I won't wake up until you accept me" he said stubbornly.

He grabbed my right hand. Grasped it tightly in his chest.

"Harry!! What the hell!" Almost 3 years of friends, never once did he dare to touch me for such a reason.

"I won't let go until you say 'yes'" he threatened.

I pulled my hand forcibly. Sure enough, he chose his body to stagger without letting go of my hand.

"Har, don't be stubborn!" my yelling.

"You know we're both stubborn" he said.

"So what do you want, Har?" tanyaku. Of course I know how big our stone heads are. If one does not give up, there will never be a finished word.

"Please, just look at me. Only me. And forget him," his eyes looked at me full of earnestness.

"You know after this our relationship must have felt different. With me accepting you or rejecting you, surely this friendship will never be the same."

He's down. Still holding my hand.

"I'm ready. Whatever your answer is, I'll try not to change my attitude toward you."

"Don't you ever want to date someone close to you? You said that yourself, right?" ask me in a flat voice.

"Yes. But now I feel like if I keep quiet, I'll lose you and there won't be another chance."

"You mean?" my question does not understand.

"Since I knew you were starting to notice Ahmad, I had not calmed down. Moreover, seeing you yesterday do stupid things because of him, I really can not think. I never thought you would be interested in any guy at school. Until one day I'll be willing to push myself to get you. But with these circumstances and the possibilities, I could really lose you," his words struck me.

"Do you think I'll tell her that if I like her, then you don't think she'll reject me, then?" I'm drawing conclusions.

"Yes" he answered briefly.

"Oh my goodness, Har.. Do you think I'm that stupid, after what I saw up there?" I patted my forehead with my left hand. He hasn't taken my right hand off.

I took a long breath.

"I wouldn't drop my pride for something like that. You know, make me that girl..."

"To be chosen, not to choose," he replied smoothly.

"And now I choose you Rinjani Azzahra. Will you be my girlfriend?"

I felt my palms cold and sweaty in his hands. My memories with him, from the first day they met until this moment came in turns. Our laughter, our smiles, the happiness of being together, the annoying moments, the endless silliness.. Am I gonna lose all that when I say 'no'?

I saw the man who was still kneeling before me. He always looked directly at his interlocutor. And now, he's looking at me. There is hope in his eyes. Can I dispel that hope and replace it with disappointment?

"Ri..," he called me to disperse my daydream.

"Ask once more, Har," I asked.

He's breathing.

"Rinjani Azzahra, will you be my girlfriend?" ask again.

"Yes, Rizaldy Jauharry, I will" I replied at last.

His eyes were round as if I could not believe I would answer him like that.

"Thank you, Ri. thanks.. I promise, I will do anything for you. It can make you happy" he said.

I felt my eyes heating up and there was a thin membrane there that blurred my vision.

"Yes, yes, stand. I don't want anyone else to see" I said as I pulled my hand and immediately wiped the desperate tears out of place with the back of my hand.

He stood in front of me with a big smile and sparkling eyes.

I hope my decision was not wrong.

We both got it wrong. Confused what to say.

"There, gih. I'm still doing quizzes," I kicked out.

"But really, don't you take me?" tanyanya.

"Yes." Yeah."

"I'm afraid it's just a dream" he said sillyly.

"Do you want me to help pinch?" I asked as I raised my hand ready to pinch his arm.

"No, no need. Let alone. Even if it was just a dream, I would not wake up again" he said, capturing my hand that was about to pinch him.

"You want to fight me?" just pissed.

"No, who's a lame guy? I'm serious about what I'm talking about," he said.

"Udah. there... tar I'm not fine anymore. Where I have a promise with the Goddess to study together," my scolding.

"I'll wait, I'll come home" he said.

"No, I can go home by myself."

"We learn together."

"No, you're a pinter" I clucked. I'm starting to grind again.

"I'm just waiting in front, anyway" he said as he kissed my hand which he still held.

"Harry. disdain!" my yelling.

Harry ran away.

"Don't be long, baby!" shouted again.

Iiiihh. If you're still here, bangjol tu son.

I turned and sat down again at the table. Write more quiz questions for the day after tomorrow.

I don't know why this smile won't leave my lips.