Harboring Flavor?

Messier

Representative of the school

A few days after my father's death, I went back to school trying to hide the sadness I was feeling right now, I was trying to act like I always did, and trying to keep smiling even though my heart was broken even more than Adi's rejection, I didn't even say what I had experienced to my friends, because I didn't want to add to the burden of their minds, and indeed from the beginning I was always closed especially if it was a family matter.

When the break arrived I was called by the principal, in fact I was also confused why, why, but then I found out that I and a few other students and some teachers were going to my house as representatives of the school to mourn my father's passing, and it just so happened that my father was a friend of my principal at the time, so even though my family didn't tell the school they found out about my father's passing.

My family's a mess

After my father's death, my family really fell apart because there was no family leader, so we really did not know which path to choose... and maybe we're lost and not necessarily headed.

Every day there was always a fight between my brothers, every day my mother was always crying because my brother was difficult to manage, since only my father could advise him before so that now no one can take his place, the atmosphere of the house always heats up and I can only be quiet and do not know what to do.

In addition to all the problems that were in my family, even all my wishes now I must bury it in because I know that no one like my father would ever grant all my wishes, and I realize that my family is in a difficult situation right now, so I don't want to be a burden to them either.

I don't feel like living right now, because I don't feel strong with the burden I'm carrying right now.. but I also did not want to kill myself because I was afraid that I would remain in a hell that was hot many times more than the heat on earth, so just imagine that I was not able to.

My family is a mess not only one day/one week nor one month, even for months still the atmosphere of the house is heated because every day there are always fights that occur.

Even until now I was still confused and did not know what to tell the sadness I was feeling right now to whom and how to tell it, all I am doing right now is being quiet and praying that the problems in my family will end soon, and will be replaced with happiness.