Harboring Flavor?

The death of the father

Although difficult but I still have to keep trying and learn all the things that I have to do in a short time, well.and the results are also quite good, I have now started to study independently, I have now started to learn independently, yes maybe all this has happened, it is the way so that I am not spoiled, lazy and do not continue to depend on both parents.

Now that I can even do all the work at home alone, I can cook, yes even a little. I can also clean the whole house myself, and although tiring but I am happy because I can be independent now.

Now I realize the difficulty of living alone and taking care of everything myself, and I realize that in life we have to keep fighting to achieve success we have to have difficulties first.

Thank God, I have learned a lot of things and everything that has happened is probably the best for me, and thank God... because it gave me a chance to be someone better.

And now that I've been at home with only my sick sister, one week I've been doing it all myself... one week also I try to be independent.

Tonight I and Brother Dayat wanted to make potato chips, and while we were frying them, Brother Zila then suddenly came with an irregular breath, for some reason just by looking at it, brother Zila, and then suddenly came with an irregular breath, I felt bad even though I didn't know what had happened, but I'm sure this is bad news.

Brother Dayat approached brother Zila who was not far in front of us. then after that his face Kak Dayat looked sad, after talking to brother Zila, brother Dayat immediately went to me...

"An, I'm not there" said my brother, with tears in my eyes, I could only shut up and say nothing.

How do you shut up anyway, you horrified brother right.

My brother repeated his words 2 times because he saw my ordinary-looking face..

"Yes my brother I know, I heard it" I replied with a flat face.

What is this .. why all this can happen, and why I can not cry even in times like this, when yesterday he said the condition of the father has improved then why is now like this... I've wanted to change, and now I won't be spoiled for her anymore. Then why should I now be left behind, father.I will try to be independent from now on, why did you leave me like this, and why dad.why so fast.

"Patience to my daughter" said my mother, stroking my shoulder, I just nodded.

And after my mother came out I came back crying, I don't know why either, but obviously I can't cry in front of someone.

Rozak also came to me in the room and told me to look at my father's body one last time, but I refused because I thought it would be even harder for me to live without him, so I decided not to see her one last time.

God...why your trials are so difficult for me to accept.what should I do now, I am confused about how the fate of my family will be.

After all was done and now all that remains is a memory that I did with my father, and I will never forget all the services that he has done.

It struck me as a regret because while my father was alive I could not be a good and devoted son to him, and now he's gone when I want to be a better kid.

O God, I know that all that you give me is better than all that I want and give me the strength to understand it, as a gift from you.

Word

It is true that people say that mengikhlaskan is not easy, the heart is still painful when it comes to letting go of someone who means a lot to you.

Be sad? it may be, but it is only natural that sometimes we need time to heal a wound, but that is not a reason to continue to mourn it, make everything that happens as a lesson to become someone better.

Rest assured, that God knows better what is best for you and that all that happens must be the best, all the sadness that you feel at this time will soon end and be replaced with a happiness, a happiness, as long as you are willing to be patient in dealing with all the problems you are facing right now.