Finossiah

I'm sorry for breaking the promise

day after day I swallowed all the bitterness of my life.

I was still going through my usual routine, going to school as usual, meeting fino and other friends at school.

today is Wednesday the first lesson of ips as usual buk wella enters the room, then starts the lesson, then starts the lesson, then a while after class started buk wella asked permission to go to the office because there was a little business, at first I felt fine, then my calmness was suddenly disturbed.

somehow I felt nauseous, I wanted to feel like I was throwing up I kept holding it so I wouldn't make the class center of attention turn to me like I used to, but I finally couldn't help it anymore.

"uweek, uhuk, uhuk uwekk" I went straight out of the classroom no matter what, I went straight to the toilet.

"the toilet sink seemed to call me this time, I just kept throwing up, I washed my face, then looked at the glass that was now the right friend to make me know my condition.

why I was so pale, it seems like this is the effect of chemo that I was running, after my body felt better I finally returned to class, when I arrived in class I was greeted by fino who was right in front of the door.

"my god lo pale lo why the hell is he? "ask fino worried.

"gua is not papa fin, cave may vomit because this morning did not have time for breakfast"

"no doubt, not because of that, you're so pale I swear" Fino held my face full of worry.

I went straight to my stool, then sat down to leave the fino still at the door.I was still trying to act like nothing happened, recsy, and a few other friends came up to me.

"you're pale, I'm serious" Recsy held my shoulder.

"yes, you're not hiding anything from the cave" Fino's still trying to dig deeper into my situation.

"yes fin no, we have promised that there will be no secrets" I said easing fino's worries.

school ends.

today it feels very heavy, it seems my condition is getting worse and worse, the effect of chemo is very visible, my face starts to pale, I also often feel nauseous, and again my weight decreases, and again my body weight decreases, I did chemo twice.

I don't want this effect to be obvious, I don't want fino to know about my illness so soon, I'm not ready for everything.

I repeatedly begged my dad to stop the chemo, but he refused it until I finally resigned myself to my body, to be honest I was very tired of doing all this, I don't want to make the rest of my life worse.

I want to spend the rest of my life together, papa, mama, and fino.

it's wrong that I have not dared to tell fino about my illness, but I'm sure if sooner or later fino will find out about my condition, it is clear that my physical condition has been greatly changed

I want to tell fino this illness at the right time, when fino really can make amelia replace my position then I can tell my condition is really worsening, he said, I hope that by then fino can accept everything, and not be angry with me for breaking our promise of friendship.

sorry cave fin, sometimes some lies must be admitted to keep the heart of your loved ones.