Combined In Marriage

Wanted it

~Ajeng POV~

I may miss it but the feeling this too will go away on its own, I just need to be patient and start not thinking about it anymore. It's not good that I sleep with tears all over my face, I need to clean it up so that I sleep more comfortably.

In the morning, at four o'clock in the morning the sound of the alarm went off, I set the alarm since last night because maybe I will have a hard time waking up due to crying too much.

Finished cleaning myself and carrying out my duties, I went to the kitchen to cook. Unlike last night, today I don't see any Mas Dimas anywhere.

I try not to think about it, I do my daily activities as usual.

The next day, I did not see the figure of Mas Dimas again, is it possible that he avoided me? I'd hesitate to ask Sarah about the whereabouts of Mas Dimas, maybe he hasn't woken up yet? Or maybe he's not working? That's why he didn't come out of the room.

The day after, I again did not see his figure, some days I was very depressed because I could not see that face. Is it possible that he really avoided me? It can't be a coincidence, can it? I haven't seen him in three days. Where is that guy?

I tried to imagine it in my mind, but I did not see it perfectly. I can't stand it, is he so unwilling to see me? I want to cry, my breath gets so tight.

Does he have to treat me like this? Although she doesn't consider me a wife she doesn't need to do this, I don't like to be treated like this. Am I being too selfish to think that way? I still want to see it even though I may not have the right, I want to listen to her voice.

Did I think I was wrong about getting divorced? Because my heart says if I want that man. I can't lie anymore, it's still a few days I don't see it what if I don't see it for a month or maybe a year, I might be very sorry.

I seem to really miss him now, I regret having said those stupid words.

I know he can't pretend, I should be wise to look at all of those things. Even when I saw how he moved, I knew he was a sincere man.

I shouldn't be so stupid as to think, I'm the one who's been stupid to let go of a guy like him. I love Mas Dimas, I admit it. I want to see her immediately, hear her voice, at that moment I will apologize to her immediately, I will express my feelings, I can no longer stand far from her.

I'm trying to ask Sarah where Mas Dimas is, she must know. I didn't want to look weird asking him that, even though I had intended to show all my feelings before. I wouldn't be that stupid to show it so clearly in front of Sarah.

"Sister, where is Mas Dimas? She hasn't eaten yet?" I pretended not to know by asking if Mas Dimas had eaten, obviously I had never seen him at the dinner table these few days.

"You'll see he's not home, Mas Dimas is out of Jeng" I nodded my head in understanding.

Why did he leave without telling me? Maybe she really doesn't consider me a wife anymore, but I'm the one who actually asked for it. Who should I blame? Whether this was because of my stupidity or Mas Dimas no longer thought of me.

I wasted those few days because I was too hard, Mas Dimas was already trying to be a good husband but I didn't let him, and rejected him, wasn't I stupid?

I lay in bed recollecting all the first touches I had. I still remember the pleasure of those soft lips a little, can't believe I've lost them. Is it possible that I can get those lips again? Yes, I definitely can, I want those lips, I want those burly hands, that soft voice, beautiful eyes, that black hair I really miss everything.

For two days I'm still waiting for his return, five days I haven't seen him, I want to apologize immediately.

Mas Dimas seemed to have come, I saw his car that had been five days without information was in the garage, I was very happy, tired of me from work paid for by all this.

I went into the house there was no figure of a man who half-dead I missed it, did he really come home? I'm pretty sure he's home.

I wanted to see it, but I realized my position again, I remembered if we were not talking to each other. Maybe just seeing her would make me feel better but I haven't even seen her, she's so mean to me.

He went home straight away spending time with Sarah, they're a good fit, I shouldn't be jealous. Aren't they living for each other and I and I have to remind myself that I'm the barrier to love.

I ate alone at the dinner table, I heard footsteps coming from the stairs. I saw the man I had been waiting for finally, the handsome face was walking without looking at me, it hurt so much to ignore, even though I caused everything to happen.

I realized that if I gave such a look that I was so moved by his arrival, I immediately stopped my feelings right then and continued eating me.

Mas Dimas came towards me but he didn't look at me at all.

"Tomorrow we'll go to Bandung to see Mom, get ready" That's all he said, I might feel pain with all that indifference, but I was so grateful to hear that soft voice, I felt like hugging the owner of the voice that was in front of me, I wanted to hear his voice longer. I couldn't even express my feelings despite my promise, I lost my will when I saw Mas Dimas like someone who didn't recognize me.

I just realized with the words Mas Dimas, tomorrow we will go to visit Mom. We had to go see Mom even though it was still with this state of the relationship, I felt guilty to Mom for ruining the relationship her son was trying to build, this was all my stupidity.

But it seems like with this matter that Mas Dimas and I will not part immediately, Mas Dimas is unlikely to take risks for Mom's health, right? Yeah, he certainly wouldn't do that. Or maybe on the contrary, did he take me there to slowly reveal our true relationship to the extended family and divorce me?

I'm afraid she'll do it, but I'm sure she can't be that bad to her own mother. I gave confidence to myself if she wouldn't have intended that, would she not have the slightest feeling for me even if it wasn't for Mom? I wouldn't believe it if it was true to see myself so deeply fall for her, I felt so selfless and ashamed.

Seriate...