CHOOSING IN LOVE

Piled up disappointed

Currently the moment of Eid, as usual as in general Indonesians, if lebaran family gathering as well as me

This time I want to test Tian's seriousness about our long-running relationship.

In my heart, "let me wait until this week, will Tian come to the house, to cross my parents" my inner self, wanting to know the extent of Tian's seriousness to me.

Why am I beating up like that? because of the length of our relationship so that Tian's relationship with my family was getting closer, too, but I wonder every time there are certain moments and I invited him Tian never came and wanted to join my family.

I'm making it up like that, because I've started to think as mature as possible, so I want to test to what extent Tian will really want me.

And ..... Taraaaa... one week the moment of Eidan passed, let alone come to the house to visit, he simply said minal aidin wal faizin to me even then only through a message.

And maybe because my mind is growing up, there 1 disappointed I keep close in my heart, I will remember one day I don't know what for? but sure I am, this event I must capture in my heart.

If my friends had a holiday after that they would walk the street with their lover, but as far as I became Tian's lover never even once existed, I usually just go for a walk with a family without Tian.

But how do I feel my love? no!. that love still thrives in my heart, the difference if there was always forgiveness, tolerance, understanding, understanding now that all of it began to erode not as solid as before.

Now the love that thrives beside it is also embedded with suspicion and jealousy that slowly but surely also grows there on the side called love.

Selfish!, yes, I admit now that selfishness is also starting to grow in my heart Somehow maybe because different circumstances are not the same as they used to be, he said, maybe also because from a speck of disappointment do not always increase and I always experience.

Today is my 7th anniversary relationship he has worked for several months, I have hope to have dreams this time anniversary, this time, she's gonna take me somewhere that might be there for a date with people who've left their teenage years that's adulthood, in a cafe maybe with a romantic atmosphere I think.

but in fact it's not at all not going to take me out on a date, send me no words.

Not to be bad to think, I also started sending a sweet greeting through a message and I secretly sent a gift to him that I bought from the results of setting aside my stock money, he said, understand I'm still in college.

And that was all he responded to in the morning, whereas what? I waited last night for him, waiting for his reply until my eyes could not be closed, various negative thoughts flashed through my mind, wanted to call but disinclined.

Another one of these disappointments I have enshrined in my deepest heart.

I remember the last time we met what I did, my words, so that maybe my actions hurt her so much that she gradually withdrew from my life.

" I'm sorry I just got back, I fell asleep from a tired afternoon coming home from work, and this is you sending it?", he replied at the time.

" Okay, I'm sorry if I interrupt the nights, yes it's just a reminder of our anniv, even if you still remember", reply to the message I hold upset in the Heart.

" that's it, don't be angry dong! sorry sorry not to not remember but actually I overslept", Tian replied back, but the reply was only I read did not intend me to reply.

" Cape ", I think that's what's now ambushing my heart, 7 years is not a short time but this is how if the relationship is just named, "facing".

My friends suggested that I could accept one of the guys who tried to get close to me, honestly sometimes I also wanted to try, want to escape from the name of being in Tian's lover.

Not wanting to be betrayed, I want others to understand when we are in touch after so long Hope we certainly want certainty not more tenuous.

If this is how this could be called a hanging relationship?, a relationship without status, said girlfriend, I did not get attention said I have not never been decided.

" hi flo! get a greeting from Singgih, know that cool law child" said Via my friend.

" Waalaikumsalam", I answered casually, I know what stevia my friend means, this, the guy called Singgih is a cool guy also 11 12 with Tian difference if Singgih he likes car club while Tian He is a fan of motorcycle club.

" Seriously, wow that cake what directly jump-jump kek or laugh hahaha so it's better, time waalaikumsalam you think can greet from ustaz", nagging stevia does not accept.

" that's the best answer via, there are greetings people yes we answer greetings, if I prance about who he is, girlfriend is not a friend no more chatter", I replied casually no matter, no matter what, for me if it is true Iya Singgih sent the greeting mah just out of curiosity is nothing, because what in terms of physical in terms of material in any aspect is that I just dust should not be seen already if even identify only the details that stick in the rearview of his car so I don't have to take it seriously.

" ah tired of knowing you are the same guy, really your heart is closed only to a Tian, we are like this actually because we are sorry for you flo, really, without the status said girlfriend no attention spelled out ex no verdict, mending looking for another", via said and the words I often heard not only from via but from my other friends as well.

sometimes it affects me a little but it is not easy to let go of the name Tian has attached to my heart.

from I don't know what it means to love, What is the opposite sex, What is courtship, until everything happens He wants to know me at that time I still plainly do not understand about a relationship, until the year went on and everything was so beautiful, once Malenakan, I was so calm in my position, I thought everything would be beautiful continue, do I now know if life is a lesson.

Next.....