Between the Dusk Border

Ragu

"why can't I hold your hand ?" Jehan remained silent, he let Juna clasped his hands tired of rebelling. Juna's hand grips were so strong that Jehan could not let go.

"you why, brother, I'm sorry I kissed you. Not intentionally either" Jehan threw away his face, avoiding Juna's sharp gaze.

"if you deliberately also do not papa, I even mengenengkok" Jehan frowned, let alone this means. Honestly, Juna's rapidly changing behavior makes Jehan a little disturbed.

"so" Juna sighed softly, he clasped Jehan's hand tighter and tighter. Does he express his feelings, so that he can know what position he is in the heart of the girl. Because if he keeps quiet and gets closer to Jehan it will make his feelings bigger without certainty. Whereas if he declares it at least he knows the hope of his love for the girl.

Juna was confused, honestly he was afraid if his statement made the girl stay away from him later, he said, but she also cannot be near the girl if her love is just a clap of one hand and only she loves.

he did not want to hope for anyone, because in fact his parents alone could not be used as hope for him, instead leaving him to live alone facing the harshness of the world. Is he given a chance to complain and demand ? of course the answer is no he will complain to whom ? his mother, even his mother like anything she doesn't know. Or demanding to the creator of course all will be the same. If his master hadn't thrown him away he wouldn't have suffered this much. He even silenced his mouth so as not to complain continuously even though he actually wanted to shout and curse at the world. Actually, what's wrong with why his parents left him without even knowing what his mistake was.

if this is what he has a right to be happy, all he does alone, when other children come home school with enthusiasm, he said, telling their daily lives to his parents or making his parents a reason to be successful he can't even be like them. He was alone, not a single family member loved him. Give the love that a child his age should get.

"kak Juna kok bengong heck" Juna's daydream was cut off because of Jehan's voice. Juna smiled, he couldn't lose the girl. Can't!! the girl was already like a surrogate parent who gave her the attention she never got.

"if you say you like your sister, do you believe ?" Juna asked carefully to the girl.

"believe it" unexpectedly the girl answered quickly, as if such a question she was used to hearing.

"why ?" honestly Juna was curious about Jehan's answer, because the girl had replied so calmly. The girl looked nervous and misbehaved.

"because there are no friends between guys and girls, if not one of them who likes, surely both of them like each other. And brother wants to tell you that brother did it ? sister wants to say that you like me because you feel comfortable ?"

Juna gulped, the girl in front of him looked like a conscience reader, her answer could even be as detailed as if that was exactly what Juna felt.

"five years older I waited for him, loyal to him even he never had a taste. I don't know if my heart can't be opened to others. I don't expect him to be my lover or my future. But I just wish we could be friends like we used to. I promise I will forget this feeling" Jehan paused for a moment before continuing.

"but yes, again I concluded that there is no real friend between a guy and a girl, because in fact the girl's feelings are too weak. No matter how hard they fortify their hearts, they must end up sharing their own principles."

"just yes I want to say, it's good that you don't need to turn friendship into romance because you will lose that friendship or maybe both. The romance has no purpose, brother, they are dating just so that anyone can understand them but in reality it is just camouflage. If you love me the same brother I miss that love or that brother will lose me." Juna tried to analyze Jehan's long words. But one thing Juna can conclude is that Jehan doesn't want him more than a friend.

"so you refuse brother ? even sister has not been able to shoot" Juna chuckles who is indeed who wants to be with him, the origin alone is unclear. Moreover, he is poor there are still many good and decent men who want Jehan.

"i don't refuse, yes it's all in my own brother anyway. Brother wants to be me and we'll keep them until later. Or make me a girlfriend but brother will lose me anytime, Because love is just a wound, even I don't dare to fall in love anymore. Especially with friends, it's enough I lost a friend once, I've never wanted to repeat this."

"so you were traumatized just because of your first love ? sister can help you get rid of that guy. Yes but you should also try to open your heart to the deck brother, do not close your heart, because if you continue to be so there you will always keep it to be your only love."

"what brother is ready to lose me if brother still loves me. Because honestly I don't care about the same thing as love. And if you still keep on clucking ask me to repay your love. Brother himself will be hurt because I never care about love and can leave people easily."

"sister doesn't care, brother take all the risks. And sister will show you that brother is really sincere with you."Jehan sighed, somehow he explained to his senior brother, he just didn't want to know anything called love. It wasn't trauma or numbness he just didn't want to know her. For him love is something he should avoid early on. Because it's the same as killing his dreams.

all this time the girl never accepts anyone to be her boyfriend, she just wants to focus on herself. Dating is just a waste of time and very useless that is at least Jehan's view of 'dating' now if this is how he should be ? go ahead and take any risks or step back and stay away from Juna for the common good.

"Jehan, don't you have the same feelings as a sister other than as a friend"

"i don't know, brother, because I find it hard to understand my own feelings. All I know is I'm comfortable with my brother as a friend. I don't want to lose that brother".

"please give me time, I'm still confused about the feeling I feel" whatever the decision will be. Jehan hopes it's the best decision.