Between the Dusk Border

Diaries

~ Sheet to 7

I haven't seen Jehan in a few days, that girl is completely invisible even though I'm looking for her. I'm guessing if he's avoiding me, but because of what ? is it probably because of the love statement I made to her a few days ago.

When Mr. Egan told me to tell all the students majoring in IT to make me a little happy, so I had a reason to go to Jehan's class, maybe by there I could see and meet him.

I went straight to Jehan's class, yes I saw her, the girl sat while focusing on her cell phone, but had a glance at me, but why does he not care and focus on his own mobile phone.

Sick, of course, I knew Jehan was evading, the girl's gaze had already explained that now the girl was indeed avoiding me. Though I was happy to be close to him, but seeing him avoid me certainly made my heart hurt.

I am fully aware that if this is my fault, I should not express my feelings that only make our relationship stretch.

I decided to wait for Jehan in the cafeteria, I'll talk to him. Every word Jehan spoke made my heart ache, let alone the look of that girl who looked dislikeful made me hurt. What's wrong with my feelings, I myself can't help feeling this.

But as stubborn as it were, I forced her, asked her for time to give me a chance, Jehan accepted, even though I knew she never expected it. I just hope that one day, I can reach out to her heart, have her, and get back on this feeling, it must feel impossible to happen.

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~Trip to 8

The relationship with Jehan is progressing better, I did not even expect to be this close to him, this 4-month contract relationship turned out to bring a lot of development.

Jehan also no longer avoids, can even be said our relationship is getting closer, the girl also does not protest when I always hug her, kiss her or hold her hand.

Every time I give Jehan a word of affection just smile shyly, it makes me anxious. Just like this is enough, I really don't want Jehan to leave.

I love him really, I'm more willing to be his friend than he is to stay away from me again, I really can't afford that.

I believe that if destiny is going to work out, my girl will be happy someday, and I will keep trying to make her happy, as much as possible I will keep trying to do that.

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~Trip to 9

Five months passed without feeling, and during that time I no longer met Jehan, the girl also lately was very difficult to contact.

When I got home from school, I was walking alone in the upstairs courtyard, but who would have thought, I could see Jehan, the girl was sitting in front of the class all by herself. I approached her, because I honestly miss her a lot.

Jehan's words and attitude puzzled me, the girl continued to issue hurtful words.

Jehan left me, it made me spontaneously run after him, but yes he still left without looking at him at all. The more days Jehan got away from me, as if he didn't know me at all, the girl always threw away every time we met.

My heart always throbbed in pain, every time I saw him close to another man. Until I came to see Jehan being kissed by another man, I could no longer cover my jealousy, my emotions were so high that without thinking twice I carried her and took her away.

I forbid him to be close to other men, yes even though Jehan won't listen, at least he knows that I never liked it. Jehan said that if he no longer wanted me, it would certainly make my feelings break. This feeling deepened, but Jehan just destroyed it.

I love her so much, I would do anything for her. Yes indeed what's wrong, I lived alone all this time, having no backrest and purpose, as if living without taste, but that principle changed since I met Jehan, I have a little bit of passion to move forward.

But just like the beginning, Jehan stayed away from me, although the various ways I did to get close, he also always had a way to get away, it made me realize, he said, if he doesn't want this to go any longer.

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~Trip to 10

5 Years later... 17 October 20__xx

I came back after 5 years of disappearing, I needed the calm that I had not felt in the last few years, I returned to take back my love, yes I never forgot my purpose to live, to be able to continue with Jehan, living together is a dream that I am currently trying to realize.

Now that my appearance has changed, my face has changed even more handsome Gibran said. Even the man said, my present face is very very different from my previous little face.

Now, I'm sitting in a cafe with Gibran and his two friends. When Gibran who was sitting next to me mentioned Jehan's name quite loudly, it made my heart beat fast. I just looked down because I wasn't ready to see her again.

They chatted lightly, sometimes Jehan answered briefly what his friend said, I glanced at her glance, the girl smiled thinly that looks so sweet, it was a long time ago I did not see that smile, it was not, the smile I miss all the time.

When our gazes met, the smile that had adorned Jehan's lips disappeared, the girl fell silent as if returning with no interest. I hate it when Jehan loses his mood because of myself.

When Jehan's friend asked me my name, Gibran replied, but I quickly cut him off and gave him my middle name, Kenzie. I intentionally, this is all to cover everything so that my plan runs without obstacles.

As if understanding Gibran invites his friends to leave me alone with Jehan, I don't know what the man did until his friends left I don't know, but for sure I didn't waste that chance to get close to Jehan.

Sometimes Jehan even steals my eyes, but I pretend to ignore him, even though I don't want to.

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