Between Me and Brother

chapter 17

After I left the living room from that meeting. I rushed to escape from him. My heart is broken, it hurts so much in my chest. The throat also hurts to swallow, like there is a large stone stuck.

I didn't think all they were going to say was marriage. They do not understand Me at all who really feel bad about it.

I ran while crying so much. Fortunately near the living room there is a small flower garden, there are chairs to sit back and relax.

I also without a second thought immediately ran to sit there. I took away all my sadness, my heartbreaking cry.

Even I thought why I liked it just by looking at it once, and always thinking about it. I regretted that I wanted to go with Abi and a meeting I didn't want at all.

In the end I was the one who really felt sick and chaotic. I will see happy smiles from them but cries from my heart.

Even though I have tried to make it happen together with Brother, I want to forget it. But on this very day I am in the midst of a turmoil which I do not want at all.

There will be a day when I look upon them and the guests they invite, the happiness between them complements each other. However, that's where I'm going to play all day to see them happy.

And where that day will come, our family will increase as well. His arrival will bring a crowd in my family. That's when I'm going to play again?

"Enough! I want to end this feeling, I don't want to look weak just because I like the same person. I will give up for the happiness of others, let alone that person is my brother." My words just came out.

"Then how is happiness for you?" Suddenly the voice of a middle-aged man answered my words.

I immediately turned around while getting up from the chair, my gaze immediately fixed with his face. The face was so close, so close. So that I may see the gaze of his eyes filled with sorrow just as I.

"Ka.. Since when have you been here?" I stammered a little in front of him.

"Maybe it's been a while, or it's just." Indra said confusedly.

"Go, aren't you here no more. Why are you still here" I began to leave.

"Eh! wait for. I'm.." His cry was against me so as not to go away from him.

I fear that there will be a misunderstanding between Me and her again, like Dela accusing me without clear evidence. If it's true that he took it out because of me, it was an accident.

Indra was still in front of me while looking at me for so long. I feel awkward in his eyes.

"What!" My toot.

"What do you mean by that, try repeating it again." Indra said as she spread her hand because it was holding me back from leaving.

"What?" I said repeat.

"Not that, but before" said Indra probing.

Wonderful, when what I just said was "What" why he said it wasn't that. So which words do I say other than "What" and "Go".

I have to get away from him if not, Brother Tery will find Mas Indra and take him home. But if Brother Tery sees me with him how do I explain it.

"Go there! I'm going back to my room. Why did you come after me and find me here?" Say hardened.

Indra was immediately shocked because of my tone, she just fell silent and still looked at me. I don't care about him anymore, I finally intend to break away from him and run as fast as I can.

#DramaSantriWati

The day before Afternoon, it is time to pray Ashar. I hurried to get my face and prayer mat in the closet. The cupboard was big, but inside it was my clothes Lela, Ara, Princess and Willy.

But now Ara's clothes aren't all that's left in this closet. There was no sepia of him either. Usually in the afternoon hours like this we gather in front of the Dormitory while memorizing short letters and joking together.

Willy was on a task that he had to do in class, the princess was busy with her memorization outside the room. It's just me and Lela here now. I could take the chance to find out about him.

I approached Lela who was reading a book while sleeping. So engrossed himself he read it without any sound said, even this room feels no occupants. There was me and him.

"La, play yuk!" Invite me to cry while slamming my body on the bed.

"Main what is Mer? Just want Ashar." He said he glanced for a moment and then read back.

I almost forgot, I finally got up from the bed and grabbed the face I had prepared, I went to the ablution.

Before that, I was still thinking about having Lela chat with me for a while. But he was so busy with his book.

I grabbed the door and opened it, wearing my sandals and just left without inviting Lela. I know, he's so busy. So I dare not interrupt his time.

Just a few steps. Over there. In front of the gate of Pondok Darussalam, I saw Abi riding in the car with Kak Tery. Om jaya got into his car. But something made me awkward.

Why didn't Indra come with them?

I immediately ran and started chasing Abi and Brother Tery. I want to go with him. Yeah! I want to go home, meet Umi. I don't want to be in the cottage if there's Indra here.

"Pig! Brother Tery! Wait" I shouted beside the gate, thrashing out.

I tried to scream so they could hear my screams. But the car I was calling was getting away, I was crying.

Suddenly Willy galloped grabbing me from the study room. Maybe he heard my screams. All the students look at me like a freaking madman.

My mind is fucked up, why am I so stupid, so stupid. I want to go home! I want to go home! My screams in my heart wept bitterly.

Then Ustadzah came to me and looked at Willy who was calming me down. I regret my behavior earlier who refused to go home, honestly I really want to go home with them.

But my heart was hesitant, too selfish to make any conclusions. In the end Indra is still in the cottage and still remains here. Who would dare to make rumors about him out, who?

I was caught up in my own thoughts. I'm still here with a lot of confusing questions.

About Ara who doesn't know why she came home. About Lela not wanting to explain about herself, which always confused me about her and about my sister's matchmaking that made me feel disappointed with myself.

I got confused, I was at my weakest point, tossed about in a sea of thousands of questions.

I feel that God is testing me with the questionable, and I will try to find out the answer.

For now, I have to rise from the feeling that always makes me suspicious of others, especially about marriage.