Because I'm Not That Happy

maybe kah(arini)

as the day passes, the flowers of longing in the heart increasingly bloom and fertile, ibra always took the time to meet the syakila no matter how busy and troublesome his work.

I also feel good right now, not mean all this time I don't feel good, just after getting back close to mas ibra, I feel so loved and needed.

two weeks after she made her point to me, I still haven't answered anything, not because of the trauma just that I want to enjoy a good time like this

mas ibra is now much more sensitive to my feelings or his feelings, he said he learned a lot from his friends who are liked by women.

I would only blush in shame, every time he said that he loved me so much, he wanted to be an official syakila father immediately and would try to be a good priest for me.

every night before going to bed he would send a good-night message like a young man in the middle of a kasmaran.

*god.would I have accompanied such a good mas ibra after what I did in the past..*

it was always a question like that popped up every night, I felt so small about my status .

today I will be busy with many of his snack orders ordered by neighbors who live in different alleys with me, because there is a lecture event at his home.

when mas ibra asked me over the phone to go just buy ice cream for syakila I refused and said I would be a little busy.

but it was unexpected a while later he had come to bring so many snacks and of course did not forget about the many ice cream parcels.

when I protested he said that some days he would be very busy and would not have time to buy snacks for syakila.

syakila who was excited because her father came directly to hug her and invite the road, but mas ibra like tau worry that I was damned, that I could not take off syakila without me.

he said that I was busy with my daughter and couldn't leave.

he promised after all our busyness was over he would take us the road to the beach.

at first syakila sulked but patiently mas ibra teased and diverted her annoyance until my daughter understood the condition of the man she considered her father.

after the return of mas ibra, I continued my work to start making the main ingredients while waiting for the arrival of bu taty

mom Taty is like a mother to me, she is so kind and always leads me to kindness, she will come help me when I am busy .

she will not be paid, she said I need more than her, she said I am a single parent while she still has a husband and children who work and have a decent income.

I was so moved by his kindness, he would be a protective shield when a discordant voice dropped me.

I'm happy to have people who love me sincerely, and so for me he's not just a friend or a friend

he is my brother who is very considerate and always the vanguard who will be willing to die to guard us.

when I was busy with activities, I heard there was a knock in front of the sign of a guest coming, at first I thought it was mom taty, but after I waited a while, it turned out that mom taty did not also appear.

I walked forward to check while confirming the whereabouts of my daughter, it turned out that she was playing with her barbie doll in the room.

with a smile I rushed towards the door but there was no sound of people saying greetings.

with curiosity I also peeked through the window slit that was only covered with curtains to see who was visiting, I was afraid it was mas nanda who came to tempt me again.

more so now I am not accompanied by hany or bu taty, it could be mas nanda do desperate, because at the end of this he is getting crazy

he often invites me to go stay overnight with him and promises to give a living for his after-sayakila, of course I am very angry, he said,I was disgusted by her behavior that I thought was beyond common sense.

but right now standing at the door of my rented house is not a taty maam, nor a nanda mas, she is a young woman whose age may not be much different from mine.

I was surprised because since living in this complex, I never saw him before, at first I was lazy to open the door and just ignore the person until the taty bu came

but my curiosity was stronger than the fear of the bad things I deliberately avoided, I turned the key and opened the door.

seeing the door open the woman who had just tried to sit up stood up and looked at me from head to toe.

I who was careless to see his behavior immediately asked him who and what he wanted.

"sorry.who's it from?".

instead of answering, he asked me back with a face I could not understand.

"yes I am arini, who are you..?and what's it gonna take?".

"i'm his future wife mas ibra!!".

*degh*

arini was silent, and when she was hit by a big stone, this chest felt crowded and full, I found it very difficult to breathe, with pain that came out of nowhere but so very felt, I felt it,I try to calm down and keep smiling.

because I've experienced more fatalities than this, and I've made it through.

after successfully mastering the state I tried to digest and understand the intent of his speech.

"what do you mean?" ask arini to make sure.

"i remind you to stay away from my future husband!!".

"you should be self-aware, you are a widow, there is no serious term for a man approaching a widow other than her pemu*s n*fsu".

" i'll forgive you, let's take this as your folly for putting hope in my future husband".

"maybe you have not done anything that is out of bounds, so it must be so difficult to let go of mas ibra!".

hearing such painful words from the woman in front of her arini felt very emotional.

but he tried not to be provoked, while the ibra still did not belong to him, only if there were other women who claimed to be his future wife.

mas Nanda who has become my legal husband can only play with other women, especially mas ibra.

her inner.

by trying as casually as possible arini replied to the words of the woman in front of him.

"sorry yes mba.if mba feels his future wife mas ibra, I should bring mas ibra here and finish all of it".

" must I tell mas ibra to come here?".

"Or don't you just tell me what I'm doing?"

"because after I mas ibra is not typical of men who like to play women".

"i knew him long before he was in town, so don't feel the best".

"mas ibra is good for everyone, so sometimes people misinterpret sincerity and kindness!!".

"it's best to go home and please don't ever come here again!".

"and one more.., I am a widow but I have never done beyond my limits, let alone dare to admit a man who is not who I am as a prospective husband".

with a sweet smile arini passed from the presence of the vienna, and went straight into the house ignoring the vienna who was still talking in a rude and dirty word.

arini stood behind the door trying to neutralize all the feelings that raged inside the head.

his knees were limp and his body slumped sitting on the back floor of the door, until a subtle knock and the sound of a taty bu greeting resuscitated.

bu taty trying to get in, I can feel it when the door shifts my body, I just keep quiet not flinching, oh god.please this time .inku.

ms. Taty was surprised to see my condition so swiftly she immediately looked up and brought me into the room.

in the room I just cried in his arms.

~°°~

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