Because I'm Not That Happy
#these are still like before
once in the park, arini towards the seat surrounded by trees, the air feels so cool, the breeze makes the memory arini back to the past, the time where he and ibra were so close, so close,the time when he and ibra are afraid of losing each other, the time when he and ibra will be jealous to see if there are others who approach one of them.
arini took a deep breath in the feeling of sebak that squeezed the chest and made a sense of tightness that is very very very very when remembering the time, which is,I don't know how long he has been doing breathing exercises without him realizing ibra was already standing in front of him paying attention.
"uhuk... ".
ibra pura coughs to disperse arini daydreams.
the startled Arini immediately looked towards the source of the sound with an unreasonable heart.
"had come".
arini asked somewhat nervously
"already from earlier in fact, but it seems like people here again are engrossed in daydreaming deh rin, to the point of not being aware of it".
canda ibra ....
"hehehe no mas, I'm enjoying the atmosphere again".
"i'm not saying you're lo rin, so that's the cut".
"who else is trying?!!! I'm here to meet me".
"hahaha how come you're like a hypnotized chicken?".
" not really mas, but again focus on observing the syakila aja earlier".
arini is still giving up, she does not want ibra to know the contents of her heart and mind.
after quite a long time ibra played with syakila, the ibra looked at arini deeply.
arini who felt being noticed became confused and nervous, she said,his heartbeat again beat uncharacteristically when the netra they satirize for a long time until finally arini chose to turn his face trying to master the situation.
"rin you don't intend to recognize me as your husband?".
"when are you, he's busy".
"sorry yes rin, even though I know meeting you without a husband is wrong but still do it, because since we meet again this longing is getting out of control".
"ma mean mas".
arini was shocked and nervous to hear ibra's statement, really ibra still holds a taste for him.
"khem. ma sorry rin, I mean mas, after meeting syakila somehow mas always miss her".
ibra tried to give..
"if you want to meet with syakila and kangen the same he is not papa kok mas, I'm even happy there is a love for my son, so he did not lose completely the father figure".
arini slipped and immediately switched the conversation.
" we go home first, ma'am".
arini hurriedly said goodbye to ibra, the ibra who felt strange with arini's attitude only nodded his omen approving of arini's speech.
after the death of arini, the ibra still silent in the garden, his brain thought hard to digest the meaning of the speech arini, his heart said there was hidden arini from him, the ibra felt his chest and spoke softly,,,
~oh god this debaran, this feeling, still the same as that time, forgive me God for still so loving him, I know this is wrong, I know this is sin, I know this is,I've been trying for years to scrape off every taste, I've tried to forget him but even his shadow has been reluctant to disappear, what should I do...
ibra cried without tears, the feeling that for years he tried to erode, the feeling that the years he tried to eliminate his real until today did not decrease or shift a single inch from his place.
{how could I forget you, while you are the missing piece of my heart, there is a small hole that is still gaping and will get even more painful when the wind blows.}.
*sorry if bnyak typoo..still in the learning process*🙏🙏
