ANTERIOR

ANANTARA - 3 Explanations

"Pig..."

I heard Ali yelling as she ran towards the man who had just got out of the car.

I know how longed Ali was for his Abi, how not to miss, the five-year-old has almost half a month not met his Abi figure.

Seen sparkling eyes in both eyes of Ali when he was in the lap of Adam mas. Unceasingly Ali kissed Abi's cheeks until there was laughter from both of them.

"Where are you from? Ali is the same as Abi!" Said Ali still in Adam's sling.

Mas Adam who is now carrying Ali walked closer to me who was sitting on the chair on the porch of the house.

"Assalamualaikum" hail from Adam.

"Waalaikum salam, tumben mas go home, do not disappear again." I said, still angry at him.

Adam who heard my words could only smile.

"I'm sorry, I can go home now." Mas Adam who was still holding Ali tried to reach the top of my head with his hand then he gently stroked my head.

"We'll just talk inside, yeah," bring Adam to me.

I followed Adam who walked into the house with Ali. It felt like I had seen such a sight for a long time.

Usually I will welcome Adam who just came home from work with a warm smile and a great longing.

But now, my anger and annoyance are still very great to him.

Adam sat in the living room with Ali. Unceasingly Ali hugged his Abi figure, I who saw it made my heart slightly scratched.

What if I can't handle all these trials? Should I let Ali go parting ways with his Abi.

"Why daydream there, I know you're still angry, but sit here first, I have something to say." Adam patted the sofa so I could sit next to him.

I who refused to fight with Adam before Ali followed what Adam said.

I sat my ass next to Adam's.

"Wait a minute, yeah,"

Adam then got up and came out for a while, he came back with a big white crackle while smiling broadly at me and Ali.

"Well, look what Abi brought for Ali." He said after arriving in front of Ali.

"Well! Abi bring what it is! The toys! Aye!" Ali looked so happy, he clapped his hands together.

"Well, Abi Pinter's son, Abi apologized well, had Ali wait a long time, eat Abi buy Ali toys," said mas Adam to Ali.

Adam also gave the big scraping package to Ali. "Yes, Ali played first in the room well, Abi wanted to borrow his Umma for a while, okay?" Ask again.

"By Abi, thank you Abi, Ali is a pity for Abi!" Said Ali while leaving me and Adam's mas both in this family room.

Usually in the past, Adam also often do things like this when he wants to be alone with me without being disturbed by Ali.

Adam used to go out of town a lot, he said there was an important task from the office that made him have to go there every month sometimes two weeks he went. Therefore, every time you go home, Adam always bought Ali a toy to be alone with me.

"Aisha" said Adam calling my name.

I am also a daydreamer remembering the past is now awakened because of his call.

"Yes," I said briefly.

I stared straight at the tv which is now airing Ali's favorite cartoon. Reluctant to stare at Adam I was sure that if I looked at him, the anger and annoyance that was in my heart I could not be quiet anymore.

Adam took his hand and took mine. I who felt Adam's touch back could only close my eyes for a moment.

An awkward feeling that I had never felt while with Adam.

"Please, I'm sorry, I can explain all this." Adam said, he held my hand firmly.

"Mas is wrong, I know you must be very angry with me, but I really don't intend to hurt you,"

I who heard the words of Adam could not bear the tears that were now in my eyes.

I looked at the face of Adam who was no different from me now, his face was wet with tears.

"Mas has no intention of hurting me! But what is this mas! It hurt my feelings so much!" I said with emotion.

"Mas tau, mas already hurt your feelings, but mas do not intend it like that, forgive mas."

"No intention! Half a month I'm tormented with my thoughts! I'm your wife! Which you left alone here! Without a single word of clarity from you!"

"In the first moment the woman came here! I don't understand what that means! I think maybe that woman was the wrong person! But, you instead came and hugged the woman in front of me! In front of your own wife!" Continue me.

I tried to hold back my emotions, I was afraid that Ali would hear all my feuds with Adam.

"Mas tau mas wrong, mas sorry, but mas also do not know why it so this." Answer Adam who did not make my anger subside at all.

"Then, at that moment! You even called that woman your wife! I'm your wife! Not him! How can you call that woman your wife while I'm in front of you!" Saying again.

"Listen to me, I'll explain everything, please listen to me." Please Adam to me.

I also tried to calm myself down, "Okay, so what explanation would you say! What explanation can make me understand!"

"Look,"

"As sorry before, mas tau mas is wrong," he said in a soft voice.

It hurts to know the truth that I refuse to believe now comes out of Adam's own mouth.

"But! Listen up,"

"Mas married her before you, but the marriage was known only to me and my father,"

"When I was assigned to work in Yogyakarta, I met with Erika" he continued, actually this heart felt reluctant to hear all these painful facts.

However, I have to be strong and try to listen to what is really going on inside my household.

"Yes, Erika is the woman's name, she's Erika and I used to do one job."

"We both love each other" he said very softly, as if afraid of getting hurt.

But, it is true, this heart feels even more painful when it knows that Adam did love the woman.

"I don't know how, back then, I was affected by my lust, which entangled me in an illicit relationship with Erika." Adam again, obviously.

It made me a little surprised and certainly sick, knowing my husband had already been in contact with another woman before me.

"He's pregnant?" I suddenly asked Adam.

Afraid that what I really thought happened.

I saw Adam shaking his head.

"He's not pregnant,"

"But, I who felt wrong had dirty it when it did not know the direction and the fog. I can only regret what I did" Adam still looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"In that day, I really didn't know what to do, until I heard from my mother that my mother and father would match me with you, Aisha."

"After hearing that, I got more confused, I was already dirtying a woman, then I would instead marry another woman after doing that."

"That makes me even more confused, scared and guilty."

"I went to see my father behind my mother, telling her all the things I had done."

Adam paused for a moment, he sobbed in his tears, I who was upset and angry now even feel pity.

I tried to hold Adam's hand, which was still holding my hand.

"Surely my father was so angry with me that day, at first he would call off our betrothal and let me take responsibility to Erika."

"However, seeing a mother who is very enthusiastic and very happy when she knows I will be in a match with you, a Sholehah woman, who is beautiful is also good,"

"Father could not bear, let alone mother having heart disease, so I and father chose to hide all this and return to continue my matchmaking with you."

"But, you keep telling me to be responsible to Erika who I already know, I finally married her a week before our ta'aruf event."

I who listen to all the explanations that Adam said can only be silent in my cry. I don't know what to do now, I'm upset, angry, but what else can I do.

"Did you have a child with her?" Ask again.

And luckily Adam shook his head, making me a little calm. It turns out that Ali was Adam's son.

"Can't you choose between me and him?" I ask again, who still can not be sincere about what happened.

Adam lowered his head. He seemed reluctant to answer my question.

"Mas, do you love me? As the woman said, mas and he married out of love" I said, taking a short pause before continuing my speech.

"While I am, we are married because of this match, what is it, love me?"

Adam looked up, looking at me with a look I couldn't understand.

"Mas loves you so much, I'm sure, you can say that mas was a depraved man, when I first met you, I was really in love, even though I was married to Erika,"

"Mas knows mas is very crazy as a man, but in my heart, all I can say is the word tahmid can meet a woman like you, Aisyah." Adam's mas say, and it made my heart a little healed.

"Then, what are you going to do now?"

"I feel unable to share my husband with another woman, I know in religion it is possible, but I don't think I'm ready yet, right,"

"I can't mas, I can't and don't want to mas honey!" My words let out my heart, sobs are heard in this family room.

I'm crying over my situation right now that I don't want my husband to have another woman, but I don't want to be left behind.

Roughly I wanted Adam to divorce the woman, but I wasn't sure if Adam could do that.

Maybe I'll even divorce Adam.

"I'm sorry, but I can't make that decision right now, I can only ask you, please to understand the current situation" said Adam, pleading with me.

"Understand your circumstances! Better to divorce me, I can't think of my husband being with another woman who is also his wife! I can't mas, for God's sake I can't mas,"

"Astaghfirullah, Aisha! Don't talk like that! You are my wife! Iloveyou! And by Allah I will not divorce you!" Adam said as he led me into his arms.

I let out my whole cry in his arms. A hug I have long missed.

Oh my God, how is this?

How will my household continue, can I continue to live all this?

Am I going to be strong through all this?.