ANTERIOR

ANANTARA - 27 Mas Rizal

Under this blanket, I let out all this heart-whimpering. Pain in the treatment of Adam who has sliced the heart.

Perhaps if this heart could manifest itself, it was already helplessly adorned with blood that continued to flow from innumerable wounds.

It is sad, it is very painful, the more the day, the more wounded this heart also.

I seemed to be reminded by the words of Adam who said that Erika was his choice, and I, the woman chosen by his mother.

This chest is tight, feeling the ultimate pain, it is difficult to accept reality. The husband-and-wife relationship between me and Adam, which was fine at first, is now so chaotic and broken.

I who used to think that my husband only loved me one, now broken with the presence of another woman who is much more meaningful in his eyes.

"In the end, I knew that I loved Erika more than me" I said.

I sobbed back in the arms of this blanket. Hope this pain can be slightly erased with all the tears that also drip.

Without lingering in sorrow, I got up and came out from behind this blanket. I stepped my foot into the bathroom in my room, intending to wash my face which must have looked swollen.

"It's very sad" I murmured. When I see my reflection in the mirror.

Eyes that look reddened are also moist, not forgetting the nose that is now filled with a lot of snot, making me look so messy.

Moreover, the veil that has not changed its shape. Maybe if I hadn't thought about my son Ali, I'd have chosen to keep quiet under that blanket.

But now I am not living alone. There's Ali always waiting for me and needing me, I have to be strong.

Because the clock is still showing at seven in the morning and Ali is still not awake. I finally decided to wash my body with cold water. Hopefully after that, I can come back feeling fresher and forget this little bit of pain in my heart.

When I was ready, with my body refreshed, I tried to divert this pain by performing two rakaat Dhuha prayers, complaining this heartache to the owner, I hope this heart will be slightly healed.

"Assalamualaikum, Warahmatullahi, Wabarakatu ..." I said at the end of the prayer.

Not felt, the tears returned glistening, not strong to withstand the pain that there was no light. Back to remembering the incident in the morning, when mas Adam escaped his slap.

"O Allah, this heartache is O Allah" I said, pouring out all this heart.

"Forgive me O Allah, if I cannot be a good wife to my husband" I sobbed in every word.

Trying to let out all the pain that stuck in the heart, put yourself to him.

"Pardon the husband of the servant, who may have incited his lust, so as to do the thing he is not aware of."

I looked at these two hands that were raised begging for forgiveness.

"Put the heart of the servant, strengthen the servant, may the servant be patient in undergoing all these trials, O Allah,"

"Thou art the All-knowing, the owner of this heart, O Allah, I give it all to you, may what has happened of your will be best for your servant,"

I took both my hands, gently sweeping this face, until it felt all the way into the chest that now felt a little light.

"Umma," called Ali who was now seen walking a little dazed while rubbing her eyes.

I soon shed these tears, then developed a smile towards her. "Good morning son Umma, here son, here, Umma hug." My speech.

I extend this hand to greet my sweet son who is now walking towards me with a big smile.

To hug Ali into my arms, the only reason I could be strong was to have a ruined day.

"Umma, Ali laper" he said.

Makes me laugh immediately when I hear his words. "God willing, this handsome son of Umma is a laper?" I tickled his distended stomach.

Ali laughed out loud, holding my hand to get away from her stomach. "Ahahahha, Umma amused, hahhahhah..." Her laugh.

Makes me now able to laugh and forget all the pain that previously continued to linger.

Indeed, Ali is the angel whom God has entrusted to me, who is always there and can always comfort me in times of sadness.

Thank God for putting this little angel in my life. Making life feel so much lighter with his presence.

"Well, who wants to eat?" I asked, he immediately pointed his finger upwards with great enthusiasm.

"Origin! Ali's! Ali's! I want to eat Umma!" Reply with a tight.

"Ready, let's go down, after a meal, we take a shower. Umma take a walk later, Ali want?" I asked, with a little teasing.

"Assyc! Ali wants Umma, Ali wants!" The screech while jumping for joy.

Well, it never hurts to go out today, right, rather than me having to keep quiet at home lamenting the endless sadness.

I better go for the wind with my son, after all, I haven't taken Ali for a walk.

"Okay, if so, who got to the first one below, could get a gift of chocolate pudding after a meal, Ali ready?" Invite me, while opening the door and clean it up again.

Ali nodded enthusiastically, then while taking a swing, "one, two, ti.... Ga!"

I immediately ran over, seeing Ali running in front of me. I let him walk ahead of me, so that the boy would finally win and cheer down there.

This is what life is like as a mother of one child.

Everyday like changing roles as a kindergarten teacher. Must always be excited by ideas that are extraordinarily draining.

But, even though sometimes tired of this exhausting daily life, I still like it because someday these tiring days will become good memories in old age.

Therefore, all mothers in the world is very great, can turn their feelings aside for the sake of nurturing the baby.

When his heart is upset, tired until sad. When the child came, they immediately hid it with a big smile.

Just to make the baby feel comfortable and know, that everything will be fine.

Not long after, Ali is now ready in front of me with his frog backpack. Already handsome, his stomach is filled, I also do not forget to bring a change of clothes for Ali, because the child the age of Ali was a lot of behavior that can not be guessed.

Then the change of clothes must always be ready, there are also snacks and wallets of course.

Thought it was ready, I immediately stepped out of the house while holding Ali's tiny hand.

For a moment, after closing the door and locking it, I just realized and remembered something very important.

"Astaghfirullah," I said as I patted this eel.

Ali looked at me confused, "why Umma?" Ask.

I could only smile with a smile, revealing this row of my teeth, so stupid of me.

How can I go if I don't know what to wear?.

At home there is actually one more car that is rarely used mas Adam, I was also taught to drive Adam.

But, it's been too long, I've even forgotten all the ways to drive it.

"Well, all public transport?" Mumbles.

"A-ayeah?" Call someone.

I looked over, looking for the direction of his voice, and it turned out that the one who called me was,

"Doctor?" I said with a frown on this forehead, squinting my eyes at him clearly.

"All right, Doctor Rizal?" I asked again to make sure.

Visible Doctor Rizal now smiled widely, he also nodded his head.

"Yes, right. Just call Rizal, I'm not a doctor if it's out here." The reply.

I can only comment on a small smile, feeling a little awkward. However, I was a little surprised by his presence. Why is there a doctor in front of my house?.

"Mm, I just moved today," he said as if answering the question that was raging in my head.

He was also seen pointing at the house directly across from my house. Instantly I nodded, understanding his point.

"Oh, Rizal mas who bought Bu Indri's house anyway." I accidentally called him mas.

These eyes instantly rounded, shocked by what came out of this mouth. It was as if it had just come out without a burden.

The sight of Doctor Rizal who was now holding back his smile, made me even more embarrassed.

"Mas Rizal? Okay, you can call me Rizal's mas." He said, making this cheek more red.

Shame feels so good about this self, wanting to quickly leave from before him.

"Umma! Come on, Ali can't wait!" Ali exclaimed, tugging at my arm.

Ali woke me up, re-spinning this brain thinking how to keep my promise to my son.

"Just now, Umma thinks it's the way,"

"Oh, Umma knows," I cried after gaining an epiphany.

"We order a GowCar" I said as recently as I thought.

"Where are you going?" Ask Doctor Rizal, who is still loyal standing in front of the fence of my house.

I who found the question a little hesitant to answer it, after all for what he knows, I also feel a little uncomfortable to be honest.

"Mm, going to the playground in the city mas," finally reply me frankly.

"Yes already, dead I intervened." His words increasingly made both my eyes round in disbelief.

I quickly shook this head, rejecting his offer.

"No need to bother, I want to order GowCar." Reject me gently.

"Udah, I just take gakpapa, no trouble ko, come on!" Invite him again, while immediately waltzing away towards his car without waiting for my reply.

I'm now seeing Doctor Rizal has his car parked in my house feels bad if I have to reject it.

"Is it okay?" My inner.

This was the first time I had ever been in a car with a man other than Adam and Abi. Therefore, I felt scared as well a little awkward.

"Aisha, come!" Call him from the car.

Ali also continued to pull my hand to quickly get into the car. In my heart I kept praying, I hope that what I am doing now is not wrong.

"Bismillah," I murmured before stepping this foot into the car.