Am I In Your Heart

The Hardest Choice in My Life

••• the hardest choice in my life is when you force me to choose between you and her ***

Would it be my ego if I kept forcing you to accept yourself in my life ?

While your heart can't accept the presence between you and me. 'More •••

◾◾◾Alfianda Rahman ◾◾◾

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" then what should I do ? " alfi asked the khaira, khaira turned his gaze towards Alfi.

" LEAVE HIM "

DEG

DEG

DEG

Alfi was silent to hear what he said, Alfi breathed his rough breath and then again allowed his gaze to go forward.

" I can't leave Elisha "

DEG

" Why ? " tanya khaira while turning her gaze towards Alfi.

For a moment Alfi fell silent, looking for the right words to answer the question from the khaira.

" Because I Still Love Elisha "

" DEG "

Like a hard blow on his chest. Khaira tried to endure the pain in her chest. He must have known what the answer from Alfi without Alfi answered him, but still he asked and at the end of his answer that was thrown Alfi only added to the wound in his heart.

Khaira tried to neutralize the tightness in her chest, then she re-opened her voice even though the tightness never disappeared.

" Are you sure that you feel love? " Tanya khaira her gaze was still directed forward, staring at the many vehicles that passed by - tares.

"What does that question mean? " Alfi instead asked khaira back while raising his eyebrows.

" No meaning what ? " Khaira answered in a flat voice, without turning her head towards Alfi. Then he spoke again, bringing out what was in his heart and mind.

" But, isn't that love a sacred thing?, it's just that humans make it look despicable.

God gives love in the heart of man, including love towards his opposite sex, however, love which on its basis is sacred becomes despicable if we use lust in loving someone. "

Khaira. Without turning his gaze towards Alfi who was still staring at him.

" Where is your conversation going? I don't understand what you're saying at all? "

Alfi's question made Khaira turn her gaze towards Alfi who was also staring at him.

" It's about your feelings towards him "Say khaira while observing Alfi's face which revealed a confused expression.

Khaira who understood the confusion of Alfi again continued his speech.

" I mean, how can you be sure if you love him while you are in a relationship with him in a bond that is strictly forbidden by God ".

khaira stopped her speech for a moment looking at Alfi who was still waiting for what he was going to say.

" You establish a relationship with him by the bond of courtship, whereas that courtship, God forbid us to approach him.

Then how can you say if you love her while you do not bind her in a sacred bond, it is not the love of her name, she said, but your lust as a man who wants to have her even without a sacred bond .

In Islam there is no relationship that justifies a man with a woman who is not a mahram for him, other than with the bond of marriage" said khaira he again turned his gaze towards the streets.

" I admit that courtship is forbidden in religion, but that feeling I can't refuse her, she is present with her own, her, and as you once said the heart is not easy to direct, just like you still love him "

Said Alfi, he threw his gaze in the other direction, alfi do not know how to make khaira to understand about his feelings.

" Yes, it is true what you say if the heart is not easy to direct, but God has not given us the reason to think, it is reason that makes us more noble than animals.

Now what is the difference between us and animals if we do not use the reason that God has given us ? " khaira uttered her speech without allowing her gaze towards alfi.

" Loe talks like that 'cause you never dated, right ? Why not loe pacarin aja just a man who loe gilai it ". Alfi stared cynically towards khaira. Then he turned his gaze back in the other direction.

" That's why I avoid dating, I'm afraid I can't use my common sense when lust takes hold of me, I've also thought of having a lover, too, but as much as I could restrain myself from falling into the black valley ".

Saying khaira he turned his gaze for a moment towards Alfi, then looked back at the streets and continued his speech.

" For me dating is like we're standing on a high cliff, below which is a chasm we can't avoid "

Alfi allowed his gaze towards khaira when he heard what was thrown khaira, paying close attention to every word he said.

" we have no other way but to retreat away from the cliff, and how foolish we are when we choose to keep moving forward when we know we will fall to the bottom of a steep abyss " khaira turned her gaze towards Alfi, who was now silent looking towards her.

Alfi was silent, what he said was true, dating is a valley of obedience. But many humans are plunged into the valley, including himself who even now because of the bond makes women as good as khaira must be injured because of it.

But the ego in him makes him cover up all the truth that is said khaira.

" You can use your mind to restrain your lust, because that is the function of reason for humans to think if lust wants to control us.

And if you do love her you can marry her before you choose me as your life companion "Say khaira while looking at Alfi who is now also staring at her.

" Lo's crazy, huh? How can I choose him when the circumstances force me to marry loe "Alfi throw his gaze in the other direction, feeling annoyed with what is said khaira.

" Have I been lazy to argue with you, so now tell me what you want ? " Say Alfi without looking at khaira.

" Take off me if you really love her "Alfi immediately looked towards khaira when he heard her speech.

" What do you want to do? You don't want to let go of me and you don't want to leave her for me, are you going to marry her without divorcing me ? "

Tanya khaira while staring at Alfi, her eyes glazed over as she remembered if Alfi would marry another woman.

" Islam does not forbid a Husband to polygamy "Alfi speech makes khaira silent, Alfi again turned his face away from khaira after saying his words.

Khaira felt like there was a hard blow on her chest, as easy as Alfi said the word 'Polygamy' without thinking about his feelings.

" Islam does not prohibit polygamy but on one condition must be FAIR 'Is it possible to be fair to me and him ? " khaira tried to endure the pain in her heart because of the words made alfi.

" I will try to be fair to Loe and Elisha "Alfi said these words casually without looking at the khaira who again fell silent because of the speech

his it.

Khaira laughed bitterly at what she said to Alfi, she turned her face the other way trying to hold the clear grains that were ready to flow on her cheeks.

" Are you sure you can be fair to me and him? Right now I am your wife but you pay more attention to her who is only your girlfriend, how about when she becomes your wife? You can forget and ignore me "Say khaira without looking at alfi.

" I promise that I will be fair with you and Elisha" said Alfi trying to convince khaira.

" Fair is not only material but also affection as an inner living and you cannot give it in a fair way, because you love him more than I do " khaira turned her gaze towards the street.

" Khaira gu's.... " It is not finished Alfi spoke khaira had already interrupted him first.

" I don't want to be in polygamy, if you want to keep our household then I beg you to leave him, But if you love him more and choose him please let me go, let me find my own happiness. "

Alfi immediately turned his gaze toward the khaira when he heard the khaira's last words.

" Are you unhappy as long as we're married ? " Alfi asked while observing the face of the khaira who was gazing towards the streets.

" Where is a woman who lives happily when her husband always hurts her and even double himself "The voice of khaira sounds raucous because it tries to hold back its cry.

" I'm sorry if all this time I've always hurt you, but I beg you to understand my feelings, which I can't deny " Said Alfi he still set his gaze on the khaira who never looked in his direction.

" You're asking me to understand how you feel, and what about how I feel? Have you ever thought about her?

Why do you always attach importance to your ego without caring about me being hurt because of your attitude, if indeed you do not love me PLEASE YOU RELEASE ME " Say khaira by pressing the last word.

" Aren't you the one who said you were going to make me go out of your life without you asking for it?

and now that all this has happened why did you forbid me to leave your life? this isn't what you used to want, is it? "

Her eyes were teary and her voice was also ruffled because she tried to hold back her tears.

" Khaira I'm sorry for what I used to say, I said it because I didn't love you, but now I love you the same loe and I don't want to lose you?, please don't leave my life !!!" Alfi stared fixedly at the face of the khaira then grabbed the khaira hand and grasped it.

Khaira tried to release his hand from the grasp of Alfi, but Alfi was too tightly grasped until he could not release his hand from the grasp of alfi.

" If I survive you'll continue to hurt me and I'm sure I can't survive if it's just a wound you've given me " Say khaira he pulled his hand until regardless of the grip of alfi hand.

" If you still want me to stay with you then you must choose between me and him, and if you still choose to defend him, I will give in and let you be happy with him" Said khaira, he turned his gaze towards Alfi who was now silent hearing his speech.

" What if I still don't want to choose between Loe and Elisha?" Alfi asked in a stern voice, as if he wanted to challenge the khaira to answer his question.

" Then I will choose his "Say khaira no less firm.

" What choices can you make? Loe ngak would have been able to walk away from my life if I hadn't dropped the talaq against loe "Alfi smiling triumphantly.

Khaira turned her gaze towards Alfi, then said a word that made Alfi not dwell because of his speech.

" P A S A K H "

" DIG... "

Only one word is said khaira, but able to make the smile of Alfi disappear and immediately speechless trying to digest the word that was just spoken khaira.

Tears that are resistant to khaira immediately flow from his beautiful eye patch, he could not deny there was pain when he had to say the word.

But if Alfi does not want to let go and still maintain Elisha. That's the only path he has to take.

" A wife can not hold a husband without any clear reason, if you use my reasons that want to polygamy, the lawsuit loe ngak will be accepted by the court, because religion does not prohibit a husband who wants to be polygamous "

Said Alfi, but this time he was not sure of his remarks, it could be the court accepted the lawsuit khaira if he did sue himself.

" JUSTICE, that will be my reason, your unfairness towards me will be a strong reason for me, because after all the condition of a husband who wants to be polygamous is to be fair, to be fair, and I'm sure the court will accept my lawsuit for that reason ".

" DIG.... "

Again Alfi was silent to hear the words khaira. Alfi did not expect that if the khaira now had really changed, his attitude was far from the khaira that used to be, khaira who always gave up for him, for him, khaira is always silent if she curses him and hurts herself.

Khaira who has now been more open, always brings out what is in her heart and mind, even though it is difficult for her to say.

Maybe now khaira is on the threshold of patience. Khaira who used to always be patient even though he hurt and ignored her, not infrequently he did not appreciate when khaira treated her well. Now turned into a khaira who has a firm attitude even with just one word in his speech can make Alfi speechless.

Alfi turned his face away from the khaira, this time khaira's utterance left him speechless. Alfi again gas his car towards their new home.

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hy readers sorry yes author yesterday did not have time to up the next episode😊

Today will author your efforts for Up to 3 episodes.

Thank you 🙏

Greetings Author

Ety Salmila's