Am I In Your Heart

2. khaira Najwa Sapphira

khaira was sitting on one of the benches in the park where he saw many children playing there and there were also young couples who enjoyed his day off. yes today is a Sunday day where everyone from children to adults spend their time off with family and lovers. his eyes were fixed on a pair of small children who were playing a swing the corner of his lips were drawn up to reveal his sweet smile no matter what he thought until he smiled to see the pair of small children. But the smile was just a glimpse of his face suddenly turned into a wistful and khaira lowered his head until a touch on his shoulder made his gaze directed towards the side.

" via.." khaira looked at the person next to him and smiled at the arrival of his best friend.he only looked a moment and then his gaze was turned back to a pair of small children who had attracted his attention.

Silvia Mauliza is the best friend khaira they have been friends from elementary school until now so he and Silvia or often called via by khaira it became so close even already like brothers Silvia was the one who understood the most about khaira including his heart problems.

Silvia stepped over to sit beside the khaira

" What did you bring me here for ? " question Silvia to the khaira after sitting next to her

" I'm bored at home because there's no work so I invite you to have a friend to chat "asked khaira without looking at Silvia

" That's all "ask siivia, khaira just nods her head at silvia's question

Silvia exhaled a rough breath

"I think it's important that you bring me here that I don't cancel my appointment to meet with Rizki" Silvia said as she pushed her lips forward like a sulking child.

Khaira turned her eyes to Silvia

" I'm sorry I know you have a promise with rizki if I know I'm also not going to invite you here, you are going where the same rizki" asked khaira, rizki is a khaira lover they have been dating for almost 2 years and even this year they are planning to get married

" I'm the same rizki would like to fit clothes for the same wedding reception" Silvia replied without turning to khaira

" why don't you say the same I want to fit clothes if you know that I'm definitely not going to invite you to go with me, sorry vi because of me you are not so fiting clothes on if you are married next month" said khaira while bowing his head because he felt guilty.

" he won't be able to go tomorrow" Selvia said as she turned to khaira and tried to make khaira feel less guilty

" sorry "say khaira again

" it's okay, don't think we should enjoy this good time who knows later after marriage I can not often see you again " silvia said as she smirked a smile towards khaira

" yes, no doubt that you are already the wife of a person I have no friends anymore" said khaira sad

" you say what the hell I will still be your best friend until anytime only later will something change I mean that changed is the time for us to be with us already can not meet often again because I already have a family that I have to take care of" said Selvia he stopped his speech for a moment while continuing to look at Khaira

"but if you have a problem don't hesitate to tell me I will definitely be a good listener and give you the best advice" Selvia continued

" he thanks vi all this time you already want to be my best friend" said khaira while staring at Silvia

" yes, you are also my best friend so far, have to be sad again, that's why Ra better you immediately find a partner to not be alone again later if I'm married, do not have to wait which is not necessarily yours later you are even disappointed if he is the same as others " silvia said with a smile towards khaira while khaira returned his gaze to a pair of small children without responding to the last words of his best friend, he smiled again when he saw the pair of small children

Silvia looked at her silent friend and smiled at an object that made Silvia ask what made her smile

" Why are you smiling? " silvia asked the khaira after a long silence observing her friend.

khaira turned her head to the side and smiled when she heard her best friend's question and then returned her eyes to the little couple with a smile that was still expanding.

" There is nothing "a short khaira reply

Silvia scrunched her forehead hearing the answer from khaira

" Is there nothing why smile ?" Silvia turned her gaze for a moment to the object she saw khaira and she was more confused when she saw the object 'what makes khaira smile at the pair of little children' asked Silvia in heart.

" i know you're watching a couple of little kids playing on that swing and what makes you smile when you see them? " ask Selvia again and then set his eyes again to khaira

khaira smiled at Silvia's question without taking her eyes off the object to which she answered Silvia's question

That silence was what existed between the two young women. Silvia turned her gaze back to the two little boys, he has since thought and seems to know what makes his friend smile when he saw the pair of little children.he breathed his coarse breath and the words of Silvia again broke the silence between them.

" I know what makes you smile when you see a pair of little children "khaira scrunched her forehead but she did not turn her head towards Silvia her gaze was still fixed towards the little boy.

" You must still be thinking about him, right? " tanya silvia and turned towards khaira

" he's who?? " tanya khaira to Silvia without answering the question of his best friend was. actually he knew what his best friend meant by the word 'he' but he pretended not to know so as not to add tightness in his heart

" You don't have to pretend you don't know, I'm sure you know what I mean, "Silvia answered"

" i really don't know what you mean" said khaira his gaze still remains the same seeing the little couple but his face turned grim no longer a smile on his lips

Silvia exhaled a rough breath

" What makes you smile and grieve besides remembering your first love" Silvia said,

this time the word Silvia was able to shift the vision of the khaira towards Silvia

khaira breathes rough like he can't hide anything from his best friend as deep as he hides it surely his best friend will know

he stared fixedly at the faces of his friends they looked at each other immediately turned his gaze in the other direction when he felt there would be a drop of clear water that soaked his cheeks

" forget him and seek a better successor, you cannot wait for him to continue like this without any certainty " silvia said he touched the shoulder of the khaira as if giving strength to his friend who was being hit by longing

But the khaira remained silent without responding to Silvia's words

" What if she had a boyfriend there? " asked Silvia again khaira turned to Silvia for a moment and then again set his gaze in the same direction

"I just wait for him to come back and pray to the owner of the heart if he is my soul mate God will surely meet me with him someday " Say khaira later

" if so why wait just to find a replacement for him for a while does not matter? " ask Silvia again with a smile

khaira exhaled and smiled at Silvia's question

" I'm not dating or not close to a man not just because of him" he stopped his words then turned his head towards Silvia who was still staring at him

" I did all these things because religion forbids dating, I'm afraid that what happens to other people also happens to me free association that can ruin the future, I am not a hypocrite sometimes it is also implied in my heart to look for a lover but I know it is wrong, I'm also a normal woman who sometimes also wants to feel how when we get the attention of a lover but as much as possible I hold the turmoil in my heart even though it's not easy" khaira again stopped her speech for a moment trying to be calm answering her best friend's question

"he became my second reason I wanted him my first love to be a priest to me who would lead me to His heaven but it all depended on God if he was not my soul mate I had sincerely awaited him so much long and I'm sure maybe this is what's best for me" continued khaira ended the answer to his friend's question engraved a smile on his lips was relieved because he had revealed what was in his heart to his friend

Silvia was only speechless to hear the explanation because she also smiled at the answer khaira really he never thought if his best friend had such mature thoughts

The sun was already on its head to mark the day was already noon even the sound of the azan had reverberated signifying the entry of prayer time zuhur khaira finally invited Silvia to go to the mosque and after that they will look for a place to eat for lunch....