Afraid to Widow

Chapter XXVII (Grizelle Prameswari)

Today is Dedy Susanto's consultation schedule. Time to return home from work 17.00 wib. Fortunately, the consultation can be done by phone WA. 

"Hallo."

"Yes, Hello Om." 

"Whose name do I call? Mom, Ma'am or who?"

"All right. It's okay, too."

"Okay Ma'am. What complaints are there?"

I started the story about from the beginning break up, reverse, break up again with the former until marriage contract with Sahrial. I also tell my worries and fears when referring to Sahrial.

"I get. This is a sign that Mbak has not reconciled with the wound. His wound was buried in the storehouse of the soul. I am therapeutic. Take a breath first. Then take it slowly. Follow my word.

Oh, myself. Thank you for holding out so far. You're cool enough to face wounds a number of times. I love myself so much. I'm married now. I have to love my husband with all my heart. Yuk, sorry for all the injuries that my ex inflicted. He exists because the test of God strengthens my heart before being met with a worthy soul mate. My soul now.

I don't deserve to continue to hate him. Continuously overshadowed the same heartache he. I have to leave it all to my happiness in the future. Now breathe again, exhale slowly."

I follow Dedy's words. Without realizing it, my tears flowed. Take out a box of tissues. Honestly, there is a different feeling. The feeling is like throwing out rubbish.

I did not feel like I had two hours of consultation and psychological therapy with Dedy Susanto. I don't think there are any more uneg-unegs. All issued. I thanked him and hung up the phone with him.

"Who are you calling?" Sahrial appears behind me. I don't know when he was standing there.

"Om Dedy Susanto, psychologist."

Sahrial's look at me is weird. "So you .." His words hang. Maybe I want to keep saying it, afraid I'm angry.

"So I'm mentally ill aka crazy you mean?" I just continued the sentence.

"No, that's not it."

"Gue knows. The layman once heard the psychologist, his innate overthinking mental illness or madness. Even a healthy person needs a psychologist because his mind is not good. I went to a psychologist because I realized that the wounds incised by the former had not fully healed. Deposited as well as in the storehouse of the soul. That's why it's so hard to talk to you. Fear of the heartache repeated." 

I pinched the forehead. Dizziness is the same as people who are not psychologically literate. Free, will not understand. "Please, give me time to heal my wounds and mentally."

"Whatever time you ask, I'm ready to wait."

"Thank you, yeah." I forced a smile.

***

I'm busy moving the cursor. There are 110 new manuscripts going into AT Writing, but once peeking at chapter 1 immediately pinched his head. Dizziness. Typical Dedek Gemes (read: novice author) wrote yes. Without regard to good and correct writing techniques. As a result, from 110 only 2 made me interested. Although the theme b aja, not far from the matchmaking, but at least EyD neat writing techniques. I clicked on Approve in the two scripts.

My door is open. Poking Helen. "Sir, this is a package."

"Oh, put it on the table. I was busy trying to understand the script. Thanks to ya."

After dropping off the package, Helen came out of my room. I wonder whose package? I got out of my seat to get the package. I took the packet out of brown paper. The book 'Undated' by PijarPsychology published by Elex Media. 

Since the consultation to Dedy Susanto, the effect is indeed extraordinary. I feel like I am reborn, more cheerful and more light in life. As a result, I am increasingly curious to learn psychological science more deeply. Start reading articles, posting psychologist accounts on Instagram, to buy books. 

From what I have learned, there are 7 things that must be done to heal internal wounds independently.

Accepting themselves. All this time, maybe we can not accept ourselves as they are, and want to be someone else. ...

Don't give up on the dream. ...

Forgive yourself. ...

Create what-to-do list. ...

Do something positive. ...

Sport routines. ...

Enough sleep.

Ting!

There's a WA notification from Sahrial. I smiled, this one guy even though I maki-maki, words, ugly, but still struggling to invite me to refer. Maybe it's time I gave him a second chance.

Sahrial

Busy lunch with yuk! If you don't want to, that's okay. Next time, though. Waiting for you to heal the inner wound is also okay.

Grizzels

I want to. But I'm the one who fixed the place!

I sent a photo of my favorite cafe to Sahrial. I chatted Sahrial again.

Grizzels

We eat here, yes. I want to see the seger-seger and miss eating here. My favorite dining place in Paris.

Sahrial

Grizzels 

Don't need. We go each. 

You see, AT Family is julid nauzubillah. There I will be cut abis-out the road together with Sahrial again. Take care of Leci's heart too. I know Leci is also in the stage of healing the inner wound. Felt di-php Sahrial. Even Sahrial said, never gave me the slightest hope. Just a fun chat with friends. His name is female I understand, must be baper when he saw the man responding to the woman. Related feelings are indeed this drag.

***

The place I chose was Cafe Waroeng Tree. Intentionally picked here because of aesthetic. The concept of Waroeng Tree is indeed made to blend with nature, so it looks very natural and beautiful. The building was built using natural rocks neatly arranged to form houses.

When viewed, this cafe is very depicting the rural atmosphere of the royal era in the natural past with many large trees.

Until we have to order food or drink first. The food menu is adjusted to the concept of the building that seems traditional, visitors can order various types of pecel, trancam, lalapan, to wedang-wedangan.

I chose the middle seat. Not yet five minutes, the waiter came to bring us our order of orange ice.

"Tumben you want me to take lunch. Usually look at me as the innards want to fight," said Sahrial. Sahrial sipped his orange ice.

"Hmmm .. after I thought maybe my inner wound has not been fully healed, but it has been much better than yesterday. I don't think there's any harm in me giving you a second chance to refer to you."

"Ohuk... uhuk." Sahrial chokes.

I rushed to him. I'm patting. "Eat him drink carefully dong."

"Seriously you want to refer me?"

I nodded steadily. "Yes." Yeah."

Sahrial hugged me tightly. "Thank you God, you have granted my prayers."

"Ih, what the hell. Lebai. Ordinary times. Shame on people."

***

I've had discussions with Mr. Kiayi. He said we do not need ijab qobul anymore. Because dropping talaq is only a momentary emotion. I breathe a sigh of relief, thanks to this my family does not need to know.

Be now in the field. The Sahrial parents celebrate the grand reception of the Batak traditional party. There are four rituals. 

Mangarrites.

Marriage preparation in this stage is the stage of choosing a girl who will be made a wife in accordance with the criteria of a man or his family. Usually this ritual is done if the prospective bridegroom is someone who often wander, so that the prospective male does not have time to find his own partner.

Mangalehon Signs.

Mangalehon sign of meaning gives a sign when men have found a woman as his future wife, then the two give each other a sign. Men usually give money to women while women give the sarong cloth to men, after which the men and women have been tied to each other. The man then tells it to his parents, then the male parents will send an intermediary or domu-domu that has tied the promise with his daughter.

Marhusip

Marhusip can be interpreted as whispering, meaning a secret talk or also called a negotiation between the messenger of the bridegroom and the representative of the bride. Usually discussed about dowry that should not be known in general because it is feared that there will be failure from this event.

Sungkeman.

The prayer.

There are actually 10 other rituals, but the word Mamak Sahrial is quite 4 that is important.

When the process of sungkeman in the Sahrial mammoth, my tears dripped. 

"Mother, thank you for accepting Gisel as a ghost and getting a massive reception Batak traditional party anyway."

"It was Mamak who should have said thanks to you. Mamak had long wanted to have a ghost, but Rial always refused to be betrothed to any woman. It turns out that her soul mate is a beautiful, smart and good career woman. That woman is Grizelle Prameswari."