Afraid to Widow

Chapter XVIII (Jihan Orianthie)

My mom called me and said she wasn't feeling well. I went straight home, scared Mama had Covid 19. By permission of Mas Ammar. Fortunately the negative result. My mother told me to go home because I had to serve my husband. 

When I got home, I was surprised to see Mas Ammar and Gisel alone on the terrace. They look very happy. Laugh together. I don't know how to describe my feelings right now. Between sad and angry. Although Mas Ammar did defend like in soap operas. "Darling, this isn't what you had in mind."

I don't give a shit about that. I just ran away as fast as I could from them. Long enough I ran, why didn't he come after me? Is the sign that he wants to release me immediately for Gisel?

"Jihan .. wait! Hosh .. hosh." I heard a scream that I knew very well. Finally he was too. Stalled steps.

He came up to me and hugged me tightly. "Please, don't run away from me again. By Allah I am the same Gisel as nothing. He was just at home just a Sahrial doang depravity."

"Babuong. The proof is that you guys look really happy, laughing together."

"That's because the story of the same time Sahrial already that. Please trust me. I promised, trying to love you. What do you have to do to believe my promise?"

His words sound so sincere. My heart melted hearing it. My tears are dripping by themselves. Ah, goddamn. Why do I always melt with the hugs and sweet promises of this man behind me?

"Yes, I'm sorry. Promise not to hold Gisel anymore? Even if she meets him, she's gonna be the same as me?"

"Promise."

Me and Mas Ammar are back home. Gisel still exists.

"Well I'm WA? Jihan, my sori to your house makes you sad or what, especially not ngabarin first. Obliviousness. I just want to ask you a question about Sahrial."

I just kept quiet. Still with.

"Yes, I just want to say that. That's why I'm waiting for you guys, let the misunderstanding not drag on." Gisel raised his right hand. "It looks like I should be flattering. Go to the office first. I doain y'all sakinah mawaddah warahmah."

Gisel's gone.

"No, what I said. You are a little bit cranky without wanting to hear the words of the husband first. Tired of chasing you." Mas Ammar pinched my cheek. 

I blushed in shame. Cut his hand. "Ih, what the hell, play pinch-pinch my cheeks just."

"Abis gemes kayak bakpao. Weee." It was Mas Ammar's turn to run into the house. I chased him too. Iniloh the romanticization of the household that I dreamed of from the beginning of marriage. Thank God, now feel it. God is the One who turns the heart of man.

***

Hascimm!

The sneezing continues. My body also feels crumpled like being pounded by people all over the village. Of course fever and throat itching. Honestly, I'm scared. Everything I feel signs of Covid 19.

"Darling, are you sick? To yuk's hospital." Mas Ammar woke up from sleep, directly touching my head.

"Not to ah. Most common fever and flu. Get well while taking the drug stall. After all the hospitals must be full because Covid Delta patients are soaring."

"What if it turns out to be Covid? If in the hospital, it can be handled directly from Nakes. I'm afraid nothing will happen to our son." Mas Ammar caressed my stomach.

My tears are melting again. Ah, the cry of me. It is easier to be moved by the treatment of Mas Ammar who is very sweet and caring with our son.

***

True lab results show I'm positive for Covid 19 and should be unlocked. Considering the fear of anything happening with my womb. Mas Ammar chose the 2nd class room. There are 1 other patient. Class 1 full. How surprised I was that other patient turned out to be Sahrial and Gisel.

"Well, Sahrial Gisel, how come you're here?"

"The positive Sahrial. I'm negative, but I want to keep him here."

I turned around. "Mas, we're moving rooms. VIP is also a bit expensive. I still have savings" I whispered. Yup, I'm lazy there's Gisel. Still upset over the other day. Could be willing to chat with Mas Ammar without telling me first. Not to mention he'll be pumping me weird again.

Gisel standing. "Gue know how you males see me because it's still all day. You're here aja. I can go home, after all the doctor said, can isoman at home."

"Darling, that's it. It is not good to know marahan with fellow Muslims for more than three days. Especially your own neighbors and friends, right?" Ammar began to come out with his advice.

"Tuh, horrifying. Mas Ammar even belain you, but his friends from yesterday-yesterday busy pumping I let divorce Mas Ammar."

Gisel. "Yes, sorry, I promise I won't be weird again."

***

Sickness is very boring. Especially Covid 19. Eating was still in the room, had to wait for food rations from the hospital nurse. 

Mas Ammar again dhuha prayer. Instead of getting bored, I went on YouTube to watch Buya Yahya's talk on Yutub. I chose a theme about maintaining family harmony.

To realize the sakinah family there must be knowledge possessed by every married couple.

Once one of the husbands or wives demands, then that means, you have taught your partner to sue.

Demanding no reward, there is patience, so every married couple must be required to maintain patience.

It's easy to apologize.

Apologizing will nourish the beauty of apologizing is a confession of mistakes as well as a pledge not to repeat mistakes.

Guilty and not apologizing is a time bomb for married couples who can at times turn into rebellion.

Vengeance is at odds with beauty and happiness.

The reasons for which the inner nature of them are: 

Many are pleading with God.

Increase closeness to God.

Make marriage as a means to help in filial piety to parents and connect friendship with relatives.

I deliberately hardened the volume of the video so that Gisel could hear. Who knows this hospitality makes him able to realize that revenge is not good and try to maintain his household to the Sahrial.

"Jihan, how can you really forgive Ammar? Was it yesterday that she was still hurting?"

Yes. He's fishing. 

"Where, I'm a broken home victim. Papa Mama separated due to lack of mutual trust and difficult to forgive the past. That's sore. Applied psychology used to slowly make peace with the past. I don't want my son to feel what I feel. Mas Ammar is good. Not to mention that I originally liked Mas Ammar for a long time. You can get along with Sahrial again?"

"Ih, who said. I'm lahain for the sake of cuan. He still has a 500 million fine. That's why he insisted on referring because he couldn't pay. If he's methong, that's complicated and I'm losing too."

I smiled knot. He still has the prestige of acknowledging Sahrial's love. I just saw him feed the Sahrial with sincerity.

"Do you really want to talk to Sahrial? Kayak our. Nice harmonious household."

This time I'm the one who's pumping him. However, it does pump into a good path.

"Duh, it looks heavy. Our goal is to get married for money. So yes it is."

"Aren't you trying to love him because of God?"

"Eitherway. Love comes by itself."

"Aamiin's."

Suddenly Sahrial and Mas Ammar appear. "Well, that's getting along. It's good to see."

"Hayo, on our gibahin huh?" Sahrial Goda.

"Oh, pede. Would you like to be so digibahin?" gisel won't lose.

"And girls are usually gibbah, if not discuss the husband is bad for other girls," said Sahrial.

They are originally suitable. Neither wants to lose. Household fun like that.

"Udah, let's eat first. I was at Gofood. Just a security guard at the front door."

I peeked at the plastic food. Fun, my favorite food. Meat soto. Hmmm .. the smell is good. We finally ate together.