A Story of the Haram Child

Chapter 18 Doubt

Anarya stepped away from Lasmi, her heart filled with anger that greatly suffocated the chest cavity. He drove a car without a purpose. His mind is confused, the woman he wants to divorce even pregnant with her second child.

Disappointment at Lasmi has peaked. He could not forgive the attitude of Lasmi who had tried to get rid of Nesa until he had to lose Nesa. However, on the other hand he could not bear if he had to ignore the feelings of Resti and also the fate of the baby who is still in the womb Lasmi.

On the other side of the heart, the shadow of Daneela was unable to tepis. Through Daneela's face she was able to let go of the longing for Daneesa's sweet smile. The impulse to continue being with Daneela was so strong.

Since his meeting with Daneela and seeing the happiness of Nesa emanated in the face of his little daughter, making Anarya's thoughts as if back with Daneesa. Dream of living happily with the woman he loves, knitting the thread of love with her.

'Remember Anarya, she is Daneela, not Daneesa, ' her inner self is always reminiscent, but the power of love for Daneesa makes her ignore logic and her small heart keeps reminding her that she is not a Daneesa, except Daneela.

The emotional turmoil is getting bigger, he feels destiny is playing with the life he is living. Perhaps this was a punishment for making amends for every mistake he made on the Daneesa first. A life without life tortures in every beat of his heart.

Anarya felt unable to continue the speed of her car. He pulled over from the crowd and then passed the vehicle that raced with the roar of the night wind.

"Daneesa, don't you punish me like this. This is so excruciating." Both hands Anarya back grabbed her hair, then cupped her face to the steering wheel of the car.

"Look at me, Daneesa. Look I've been this upset, but you don't seem to have had enough of all the pain I'm feeling."

"Yes, I was wrong. I admit I was wrong for not being able to be firm against your will. I'm wrong with all the roads I choose to have you."

"But, Daneesa. Allow me to stay with Nesa. Even if it's to marry your twin brother."

"Are you sure you want to marry Daneela?" With a voice heard, Anarya raised her head and looked at the source of the voice.

Anarya rubbed the net as if in disbelief. There was no one at all in his car, yet the voice was so clear from the back seat.

"Why don't you answer my question, Anarya?"

Back Anarya was stunned. He remembered that voice. Daneesa .. yes, that's Daneesa's voice. But where is it?

"Da-Daneesa, where are you?"

"Look at the glass over your head."

"Daneesa? Is that really you?" Sontak Anarya was aghast when she saw the figure of a woman in a white dress in a mirror image. However, every time he looked back he did not find the figure.

"Say, are you going to marry Daneela?"

"A ... I ...." Anarya was worried between yes or no.

"Do it for Nesa, Narya. I'd be willing to let you go for our daughter."

"Honestly heavy for me, Daneesa. Making Daneela your replacement is like living in your shadow." Anarya half-moved, trying to reduce the burden in her heart.

"Then, what's the difference between choosing Daneela as your wife and compromising your domestic life?"

"Come, Daneesa. I really can't think right now. Lasmi was pregnant, how could I leave her in such a state. But I also want happy Nesa to take in the incomplete affection."

"Ask your little heart, and open your eyes to see who Lasmi really is."

"What do you mean, Daneesa? You know something about Lasmi?" Anarya folded her forehead and brought her face closer to the mirror, there were many questions that filled the recesses of her mind.

"You'll know later. All right, I'll go first, Anarya. I think we've had enough of a conversation."

"Wait, Daneesa! Danees!" Anarya. He tried to look around, but there was nothing he could find except silence. Then the car is also not as crowded as before.

"Am I dreaming?" Anarya tried to pat and pinch the cheek.

Anarya breathed a hunting breath, trying to calm the heart. His conversation with Daneela just left a lot of question marks.

After almost fifteen minutes of silence, Anarya finally drove back the car. Before long, he stopped the steering wheel and chose to stop for a moment. The car he directed to enter the parking area of a large mosque. The mosque is quite quiet, probably because it has passed the prayer period and all worshipers have descended the mosque.

His feet stepped up to take the water of ablution, he felt it was the right time for him to use to complain all his complaints to the Life Giver.

I don't know how long Anarya has been together, complaining to the Owner of Life. The tears were unceasingly shed, asking for mercy on the Spiritman Ar-rohim.

****

Meanwhile, in another place at the same time, a woman in a white face also had the opportunity to ask for guidance to the Owner of the Heart. He was overwhelmed by turmoil and his calm was disturbed because of the problems he was facing.

"Yes Allah ... O Lord, owner of life and heart-turning, in Thy night I lift up my hands, pleading with Thy guidance." For a moment his prayer stopped, he seemed hesitant. He lowered his face deeply with a clear droplet on his cheek.

He sobbed in his tears, prostrated again and said Istighfar repeatedly. "Daneesa, I'm sorry" he said later.

Daneela nodded, feeling that a hand was holding her head. He slowly rose from prostration, looking at the light that was already dusk. There's a clear dew in the corner of the net.

He poured into the arms of the woman who had been praying for every happiness, the woman who always cheered every step of her tiredness.

"Ma, am I wrong to expect Anarya for Nesa?"

Ms. Rani summarized her daughter's face with both hands, gently she said, "nothing's wrong, son. If you love Anarya, ask Daneesa for permission. Tomorrow we go to the tomb, Mama is sure Daneesa will not mind because she also wants to see her little daughter happy" said Bu Rani.

Daneela nodded and clasped her mother's hand tightly. He kissed the wrinkled hands that had been used to lovingly raise it.

"Ma" called the little girl from behind the door.

"What, Honey. Here come in, son," Daneela pinta spread out her hands, in a gesture of wanting to hug the little girl.

"Mama and grandma crying again?" Nesa's clear netra probed, then her little fingers wiped away the traces of clear feathers that were on the cheeks of the two adult women before her.

"Nesa doesn't want Mama and Grandma crying anymore. Nesa doesn't want to see Mama and Grandma sad."

Daneela clasped Nesa's body into the crib, stroked Nesa's long hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Kok, Nesa's up?" ask Daneela while frowning.

"So awake, look next to Nesa there's no Mama. So Nesa looks for Mama, continues to hear the voice of grandmother here." answered Nesa innocently while rubbing her eyes that actually still resist drowsiness.

"Eh, tomorrow's weekend where are we going, huh?" Daneela was trying to melt the atmosphere.

"Nesa's going to the waterpark, Ma. Can play water, slides, waves .. Exciting anyway."

"The village is not bored? Four times already, you know."

"Nesa likes it, Ma."

"Yes, tomorrow we go to the waterpark again, huh."

"Hore .. fun ... Mama is good. Thank you, Ma," Nesa cheered with excitement as she landed a kiss on Daneela's cheeks.

Happy enveloped three different women of that generation, without realizing there was a beautiful figure behind the window glass along with a happy smile watching every scene that touched the heart.

"Blessed is always my son" he murmured softly, then disappeared.