While the Script is Drawn

Mosaic 4 - Hi

They call me a ghost.

Ugly white ghost, apkir and castaway. Who wants to be like that? Neither did I. But can we choose how we are born? No. gabe. I was born like this, inevitably, I have to accept it.

The doctor said I had no disease. Albinos are simply genetic disorders, neither infecting nor contagious. But, for them it's the same. Illness or not, I was in their eyes like someone who had been exposed to the curse of an evil witch so it had to be broken because the curse could be contagious. The curse of the plague that can hurt the eyes if viewed.

Since elementary school, I have often received the consequences of the law of distinction. Different people will receive different treatment. Different but still one thing, it's just a joke if I juxtapose it with the reality that I accept. I'm bully. I'm defiled. I'm not welcome. It's like I never existed. The white ghost that should not be among the crowd of normal humans.

I begged my mom not to go to school. Mama nodded firmly. Mom always said I was like them. Maybe a little different, he added. A little how, Mama? Look at me, pale, white, from skin to hair. It's not as simple as his nose sticking out while my nose is pug.

And I ended up growing up with a feeling of inferiority too. I try not to be flashy, but it's free. Wherever I am, it will still look striking. Like a black stain on white paper. Or vice-versa. I understand that is the way of natural law. The goat will remain a goat even though he lives among the Hyena herd. And vice versa.

I went through my teenage years thinking I wasn't living it. I'm not massive. I'm buyar.

***

Tea comes like rain in the middle of a long drought. He removed my thirst from the long-rigged slump. It brought a fresh breeze to my chest cavity that had long been congested. He is like the messiah in the midst of my ignorance in the path of life. He was the only friend who acknowledged my existence.

“Tea, why do you want to get close to the ghost? You can get cursed.”

“Ah, don't say that, dong. Denis our friend too, right?” tea said in a reassuring tone that I was as normal as them.

It is sweet, beautiful, kind, agile and friendly to anyone. He's a new kid, moving from Bandung. He is like a magnet that can make anyone interested in him.

“Maybe it's true what they say. I don't deserve to be your friend,”

“You don't say that,” said Tea trying to strengthen my heart.

Tea is my only friend. The only one who wants to be my friend. I was born new to the rhythm of the major because of that. Tea invited me to talk, go home from school, study, watch basketball games between classes, watch music shows, watch movies and confide in. I love hearing Tea tell stories. Just like teenagers in general, he also complained about many things that happened in his life.

“Sometimes we always feel our fate is the worst. But, believe me, sometimes what we consider the worst is even the best according to God.”

From Tea I began to learn to accept my shortcomings.

“Tea?”

“Ya?”

“Thank you.”

***

Tea, one word that became a reinforcing spell for me to endure. And eventually the spell broke into a curse. The tea then becomes opium. I became a sick person who needed to be supplied continuously so as not to die. Tea, Tea, Tea, it's in my mind, my chest cavity, my pulse. I don't know what kind of misfortune happened to me this time. I should have known myself, Tea was far from my reach.

I decided to stay away. There is nothing more poignant than loving without being able to touch. I'd rather unplug it now than the more day it grows in time.

Sorry Tea, sorry. This is my way, to live you. To love you.

“Mama, from tomorrow I change schools.”

***

Seven know later.

Time runs fast. Whether we can follow or not.

Time is a mystery without end. Ask and answer like a puzzle. And if it's time the puzzle blends neatly or even gets messy.

Years passed, I remained a white ghost. But the white ghost that was isolated was over. I became a haunting white ghost. I haunted them with what I wrote in my books. I don't want to be arrogant, but I want to say I'm proud to have found the world that made me live. All because of Tea.

Since deciding to go away from Tea I discovered a new world. World in sentences that eventually became antistres therapy. Makes my brain work, my heart rhymes. It was as if writing was a magic job with a million surprises. And I can't believe people like what I write.

And there I am now. Sitting in a refrigerated room with tables and chairs that have been occupied by important people. There are directors of investors, famous film directors and assistants, and some people I don't know. I attended a meeting to work on a film that would be adapted from one of my books.

“There is still one more person. He is an artist who will be the main star, playing the character of Tea,” said Pak Hardi, the director. I just nodded in response to him.

Not a few minutes later, the woman opened the door. His figure poked steadily into space. Her steps were graceful and intoxicating.

“Good morning. Am I late?”

“Same as no. Please sit down,” said the assistant producer.

I almost lost my balance to find the figure who was now sitting opposite me. I silently stared, trying to digest the last seconds that had ransacked my mind into a foreign place. I drifted into a feeling of uncertainty as if I had been swept away by a whirlwind.

“Hai, how are you?”

Teas…

.

.

.

Finished

Semarang, October 2, 2017