While the Script is Drawn

Mosaic 25 - Shoes

I'm appalled. Then this man shook my hand with a smile. I try to change my face as calmly as possible. My heart is beating ungodly. Kulirik my wife, the woman I married four months ago. Then I also see Nadia, the only sister of the puppet that I love very much. Then this man in front of me. Without Nadia even introducing me I already know her name. Indra Bagus Nugraha's.

“Please sit Deck Indra,” my wife please. “Awhile, yes I'll get you a drink and a snack first”

“Not bother, Ma'am,” said Indra, his voice buzzing in my ear. Restlessly makes me. His voice was hoarse, heavy, yet melodious, it indeed made me nervous.

“No hassle. Consider it your own home. Soon will also be a family here,” said my wife then went to the kitchen.

Indra smiled sweetly. I smiled bitterly.

“Bang Dika's. Bang Dika sick?” nadia said suddenly.

“Eh, No kok,” I flirted by myself.

 “Kok from earlier diem only.”

I smile bitterly “Iya , again less well this. But it's okay.” I ended up lying too.

“Emm.. so this is your future husband ?” I said finally.

Nadia replied shyly “Iya, Bang. This is the Indra I told my brother about the other day. We are serious about marrying”

Kulirik Indra, she smiled knot. I cursed in my heart.

“Prakk ..." I gasped in shock. Sound from the kitchen. “Plate fell, it's okay,” cried my wife instantly. I told Nadia to go to the kitchen to help my wife. After Nadia was gone, I stared at her hateful senses.

“What's your plan? Destroying my sister?”

Indra looked calm. “I didn't know that Nadia was your sister”

“Do not lie!”

“I'm not lying.”

“Listen to me. I don't want my sister to marry you.”

“We love each other.”

“Cannot be!”

“I loved Nadia just as much when I used to love you. Even much larger.”

I wanted to beat Indra but my wife and Nadia had come with a tray of drinks and small meals. I'm trying to relax. Same with Indra. We looked at each other with anger. Then the conversation about Indra and Nadia's wedding plan flowed alot. I said I'm not feeling well. After that, Indra came home. I had Nadia help my wife to clear the table while I drove Indra to the front door. “Tomorrow at seven in ..”

“Ya, I know.”

*** 

Caffelatte that ten minutes ago I ordered half. I waited impatiently. I want to get out of here quickly. Coming to this cafe is the same as opening memories that I do not want to remember anymore. Even in my little heart, those memories are beautiful. But I have to pull it off. I have to see what the reality is now.

Finally, Indra came. As usual the makeup is casual, jeans, casual t-shirts, jackets and sneakers. He sat in front of me. For a moment he looked at me then called the waiters to order a cup of cappuccino.

“I want you to visit Nadia,” I said to the point.

“What's the reason?” indra said remain calm.

I don't know what reason I should reveal. I sighed heavily. This confused me.

“What's because I've dated her sister ?” indra said before me “Listen to me, Tio Ramadlan, you left me when I really loved you and now you want me to leave when I really loved her. Not only did you hurt me for the umpteenth time but you also hurt your only sister.”

“That we did wrong.”

“True. But what I'm doing now is not a mistake.”

I'm speechless.

“Indra, this is very complicated please understand.”

“Understanding about what?” Indra was getting impatient.

“Sorry this cappuccino.” We both flinched. The waiters glimpsed at us suspiciously before finally leaving us.

“I cannot let my sister ..” My sentence hangs. I really can't express what I feel with words. “If you had a sister.”

“What? Because I was gay?” indra's words struck my heart.

“You think of me like Yo’ shit?” indra said sneering. “Even the most ********, can change.”

“I didn't mean it.” I finally have to say it too. I have to be firm. “But ... I can't let my sister marry a man who likes men!”

“Then what's the difference with you?” spray Indra with high tone. Some people glanced at us.

“I'm sorry, Indra. Honestly, until now I still can't forget what I used to be. But we have to be aware. We don't live in Holland. And I have to take steps. There is a woman who loves me and I want to change. Sorry for leaving you."

“And you thought until now how do I feel about you? I still love you and the only one who can release me from your shadow is Nadia. And I didn't expect Nadia to be your sister."

Oh, God, this is so hard. I want to hug Indra right now but I want to hit him so he wants to leave Nadia's life.

“Don't you remember how we got together first?” indra.

***  

I saw the man whom I later recognized by the name of Indra. At that time I needed a photographer to make a catalog and my friend suggested using the services of Indra. Our meeting started with a business card exchange. I explained what the senses had to do and he took it easy. He is the type of person who is relaxed, supple but professional. Meeting after meeting we went through normally. Within 3 days the work was done. I thanked him for his help and he suddenly invited me to dinner.

“I think the day after I have time. I'll tell you again" I said.

 “Yes, I'm waiting for you."

Finally that night I picked up Indra at her boarding house and we went to a seafood restaurant. “ Just two?” I just want to convince myself that we're just the two of us.

“Indeed why?” he asked back.

“It's okay," I answered mediocrely even though I was grumbling in my heart. Two men go out to dinner, like lovers.

That night we talked a lot. He scoffs at me who is 27 years old but not married. And I scoffed at him because he took a 27-year-old man out to dinner. And it turns out he's very fun. I feel comfortable around him. He's humorous, intelligent and up-to-date the world's latest info-info.

And not only did he take me to dinner, he also took me to a discotheque. Well, not too bad. That night I felt free. Being a brother and a parent is not easy. Sometimes it frustrates me. Especially if your sister is a teenage girl. I think my senses have given me a little bit of comfort from that heavy burden.

I felt free last night. And I never thought it was 3 in the morning and I was drunk. If I go home then that would be a bad example for my little sister. All right, I will say that I suddenly have a sudden job that requires me to get out of town and not have time to tell Nadia. Indra also gladly let me stay at her boarding house.

***

I don't know if it's because I'm drunk or because I want to. I think it's both. I did something undeserving. I slept in the house of the senses. The man slept beside me. I was tired but I couldn't sleep. I kept on listening and Indra listened to me well. I told him what was going on in my head, about how hard it was to be Nadia's older sister and parent, about how my parents shouldn't have left me when I was 17. Indra stroked my hair and I felt like hugging. Then indra hugged me.

The warmth of Indra made me feel comfortable. Her caresses were soft, her body warm and her breath bewitched me to get closer, get closer once more, get closer and we kissed terribly. No need to explain how, the point is that we kissed that night until morning. Lekaki and man.

The next day when I woke up and found myself in Indra's arms, I immediately pushed her hard “ you set me up. You've planned this. Fuck you ! “

“Not like you think Yo’. I didn't set you up. I think last night we did it out of liking."

“Satan!" my spray.

“Yo’. I didn't mean it that way,” Indra tried to hold me away.

“Go to you ********. Don't touch me."

After the incident I did not meet Indra –, rather did not want to see him - a few days. He called me but I never picked up. Every minute sms expressed regret but I never miss. At the end of the day, I felt something strange inside me. I don't think it should be so with Indra. After all, when we did it, I was a little aware, even though I was a little drunk. And I miss Indra. When I tried to just miscall the hape number was off. It makes me nervous. And I don't want to have to go to the hostel.

What I found was a bad sight. One month I didn't meet him now he's a lot different than the last one we met. He became very thin and pale.

“When was the last time you ate?"

“I forgot. But I'm so glad you're here. I'll explain se...”

 I couldn't help it, I immediately embraced the senses. I feel like I'm the most depraved human being. I shouldn't have made Indra like this.

 “Do not talk again. Ii'm sorry. You should eat. Let's go get some food."

Indra shakes. “I don't want to eat. I just wanted to say something that I love you. When I first saw you I felt that feeling. But really that night I didn't plan it. It just flows. I tried to hold him back but I couldn't. I thought you wanted it too."

“I'm really sorry,” I said full of regrets. “And I also want to say that I love you too. But now the most important thing is that you have to eat.”

Indra smiled happily, and so did I.

And the days that followed we went through together like lovers.

Until in the end I had to leave Indra because I had to marry a woman who also loved me very much.

***   

“Tak easy to understand. And it doesn't need to be understood. We're like a pair of shoes. Together but can not unite. “ words that appear from the mouth of Indra.

“Yes. I hope you're a good husband to my sister. And if you let her down I'll hit you, no matter you're my sister-in-law and don't care if I love you" I said.

“Thank you so much for letting me marry Nadia." 

It was the day on which Indra and Nadia made a faithful promise to live together in health or sickness, in rich or poor, in hard or happy, forever until death do them part.

Finished