While the Script is Drawn

Mosaic 22 - May Grey

january 3, 2012

Under the banyan tree that had lived for decades behind the school, now Yudi and I were. The banyan tree whose tendrils dangle to the ground and its branches became a favorite place for various species of birds and insects has now become a witness to the growth of this school: PANCASILA High School. This banyan tree is a part of this irreplaceable school. In this banyan tree, there are many memories. From year to year. Unreplaceable. All the students of this school love this tree. Me included. Because under this banyan tree, Yudi declared his love for me.

“Widie, I love you.”

Yudi held my hand. What I feel now is like being among the blooming flowers, the birds singing, the grass swaying, it's beautiful. I waited two years and it was not in vain. Since first grade, since the first time I saw Yudi, I've been in love with him. I secretly loved her, harboring feelings I did not dare to express. I never dared to express my feelings to Yudi. I'm so inferior. I am a nobody while Yudi Agung Lakasa is the star of this school. Student star, OSIS chairman and school basketball core team. And he's very handsome. A lot of girls have a crush on him.

Right, he's all I want next to me. I don't want anything else. And I didn't expect it at all. It turned out that Yudi was now in front of me and declared that he liked me. Thank you God .. This is the most beautiful gift of my life.

“I too,” I said dissolved in happiness.

january 30, 2012

Heavy rain is pouring down the streets. So swift that a cold cry pierced the bone marrow. I was cold next to Yudi. I see him the same. Now, we're taking refuge in a roadside stall that's not open. We just got home from math class and while we were on our way in the rain.

My teeth are so cold that they lie. I rubbed both my palms. I saw Yudi follow what I did. Even though he was carrying a jacket, I saw him as more cold than me

“Widie, put on this jacket,” said Yudi suddenly took off his jacket and put it on me.

I knew Yudi couldn't stand the cold. Especially cold like this. I refused his jacket of course.

“No, Yud. You need it more than me.”

“I don't want to be a guy don't know myself, Widie? Letting her boyfriend get cold? Wear this and I will feel very fine,” Yudi said.

I doubt it but accept it.

“I love you so much. I won't let you get cold,” I told Yudi. “ We wear this jacket together.”

Yudi nodded.

It feels so beautiful. We sat together in a jacket. I feel so warm. Not because of this jacket. But because Yudi is very close to me. We enjoyed the rain together. From this moment on I loved the rain.

february 14, 2012

Usually people pass valentines in cafes or restaurants with a special packet of chocolate or a fragrant flower, or a cute doll with a romantic dinner. But what Yudi did was different. Yudi rented a small boat and took me to the middle of the sea. There's nothing. There is only blue sea water. And white clouds hung in the sky.

“Yud, why are we here? I'm scared.”

“Quiet,” says Yudi smiling knot “I promise I'll take you home completely.”

Yudi looked at me. In one go. Make me melt and I'll be willing to entrust my life to her.

“What will we do in the middle of the sea like this? Fishing?.”

Yudi chuckled, then he spread out his hands.

I spread both my hands. I thought Yudi and I were crazy.

“Close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes.

“Feel what's around you.”

I'm trying to feel. And what I felt was a salty wind slapping my face, the swish of the waves and .. “Kosong.”

“True Widie, this is if we live in a world without love. Blank. Lonely feeling. It's worse than anything. And I'm so grateful to you for filling my empty heart. I love you, Widie.”

I was touched once. I want to cry because I am happy.

 “I love you very much too.”

 Yudi now hugged me.took my hair. 

“Thank you dear,” said Yudi.

10 May 2012

This may be the worst May of my life. If there is a song “Wake me up when november rain.” Then I will replace with “Wake me up when Mei rain. Bagaima isn't? My girlfriend is lying weak in the hospital. For five days Yudi was unconscious. While the national final exam just count the days.

I'm afraid Yudi can't take the national exam. I'm even more afraid of Yudi why-not. We both planned to go to the same university. Ugh. .. I must be sure that Yudi will recover soon. I can't think of a no-no. I must pray too.

Now, I, Nada, Leo and Ardi are on their way to the hospital to visit Yudi.  “Yudi will definitely be fine,” said Nada calmed me down. I nodded weakly.

“I love him so much, Nad,”.

“We all here love him. We pray and leave this to God.”

I nodded once more.

30 May 2012

It turns out that May of this year was completely gray. I didn't expect it to be this fast. The person I love so much. The one I love so much. It's gone now forever. Brain cancer took him from this life even though he was young. But that's not a guarantee.

It's not easy. But I have to be strong. I have to step up. Yudi is half my life. His place in my heart is irreplaceable. And I can't cry it out continuously. It'll just make him feel unsettled there.

The final national exam has passed. When I realized that Yudi couldn't follow him because he was still weak in the hospital, I am very worried that later Yudi will repeat the High School period and our dream to enter the same University is just a dream. And now that dream is gone. Crushed to pieces. Will I be able to face this world without Yudi by my side?

I used to say I always miss the rain. I miss the rain like it's raining right now. I danced in the rain. Once satisfied I whispered to Yudi's headstone.

“Thank you dear, you remember my birthday. This rain is my most beautiful gift.”