While the Script is Drawn

Mosaic 18 - Only Fools For Love

My name is Naura Kartika Sari bint Abdul Ghofur. Jepara girl who was born from a mediocre family. You could even say destitute. My father was just a push meatballer whose income was used to fill seven stomachs. So, from childhood I have been taught how to skimp. Despite the weight of going through school that often my report card was confiscated for delinquent SPP, I managed to graduate High School with a proud value. The only one of my five kids to have a high school diploma is just me. Even my first brother didn't graduate from Elementary School.

I realized that I would not be able to continue my education to college. But isn't that hope always there? So I made a plan for the future. First plan, I'll work a few years first, save as much as I can. After I get together I want a list of lectures. To support all needs, I'll be looking for a part-time job while in college. If it fails, I turn to plan B: whatever fate.

And it turns out that I had to follow a fate line that didn't want me to take a university seat. For me, education is one way to change this destitute fate. Although many say, why high education, most also be coolies, a waste of money!

When I was 19 years old, I decided to complain about my fate in Semarang, becoming SPG a Wardah beauty product. Working with the shift system didn't give me the chance to go to college. After all, I've signed a three-year contract with a motor loan financing leasing. With only a small income, cut by almost half to pay for motorbike and boarding loans, my salary is very mediocre. How hard it is to divide money that is not so much for many things. Then, I thought it was great that Dad could divide his income for seven stomachs.

The days of working in Semarang I went through heavily. Especially with a glamorous life around me. I'm getting to know the nightlife from my fellow SPG friends. I pray in my heart not to follow. Believe it or not, some of my friends are prostituting themselves to om-oms. It's not taboo anymore in my neighborhood.

A 28-year-old man came from Jakarta. He was a supervisor who moved to Semarang. His name is Ardhi Wibowo. He's the most handsome man I've ever known. His skin was pure white, tall, his eyes sharp like an eagle with thick eyebrows linked and his smell, scented. The macho fragrance. Almost all SPG girls in the mall admire him, as well as some feminine guys. Some even dared to openly tease her. Although it sounds like maho aka gay. For men of that age, single, handsome and neat, if not perfectionist, yes gay. I don't know where the research came from.

I don't care even though I like to look at her handsome face. I stay focused on the job. I arrived 30 minutes early. Always smile at every customer. Address their questions patiently. Providing the best solution to their sensitive skin problems. With that persistence, my sales shot far. I got a two-fold incentive. Exceeding the primary salary. And that made the other fellows envious.

Is Silfie. If I sit next to him I always feel intimidated. She's gorgeous. However, he looked judes, impatient. I know the secret to dating an om-om. She also has a crush on Ardi. And because Ardi always praised me and cornered Silfie, because my sales were far above him, he was blatantly hostile towards me.

From his dislike of me, he implied it in a cunning manner. One day he changed the guard schedule without telling me, so the morning shift was empty, which I should have been guarding. It turns out that he was not alone in intervening. He conspired with many people, so that when Ardi was furious, I had no support. I'm cornered. Attacked and unable to quibble, SP 1 came. Yellow card.

I'm trying hard. I don't want to cry in front of them. Many times I strengthen myself, I cannot fall.

"Working there's an event?" ask Ardi the next day. "Gue wants to talk to you."

I shook my head, then nodded.

"Don't be in this mall. Meet me at Bayleaf Cafe. Know, right? Seven o'clock. You have a motor, right?"

I nodded again. Whatever Ardi wants to say may be work-related. I have to respect him because he's my boss.

"Gue knew you weren't wrong, Ra," Ardi said upon arrival at the cafe, starting talks later that night. I'm getting used to hearing Ardi speak lo-gue to me, probably because he's a Jakarta-an kid.

"Trus why did I get SP, Mas?"

I called him a mas instead of me sassy. But he himself did not want to be called 'Sir'.

"Lo's in a difficult position, Ra. You have no proof. All agreed that you were wrong. As a boss, I have to follow the procedure."

"Yes, I understand, Mas. Thanks." Thanks."

"Gue will help you. The most potential employees among others. I as a boss do not want to lose employees like lo. I have to defend you. I have to start picking up viruses in my management." One conclusion from this conversation I can take, Ardi turned out to be an ambitious person and out of all in his work.

"But I don't think I'm at home, Mas. Work with the enemy. The spirit is not conducive. I was thinking of resigning after the contract."

"Please don't, Ra. I'll help you. But you helped me too."

"I mean, Mas?"

"Lo tetep works best. Let me take care of the incompetent thorns. Just relax. As long as you always hear my word, I guarantee everything will be fine."

***

Turns out Ardi wasn't messing around with his shit. Earlier this month, Silfe was terminated from his employment contract. My other colleagues also turned friendly to me. I don't know what Ardi did, but I feel lucky. I'm getting closer to Ardi too. He often confided in his family problems, he also often took me out on the grounds that he did not know the streets in the city of Semarang.

The more days, weeks, months, my closeness to my boss grew. We have become close friends. Then one Sunday night, Ardi said something. The way he would say it by holding my hand, already made me know what he wanted to say.

"Naura, I love you. Would you like to be more than a friend? Will you be my girlfriend?"

There is no reason to refuse. I nodded, leaving him. This is my first time dating. I don't know what makes Ardi like me. Many other SPGs are more beautiful.

"I don't need anything beautiful outside, Naura. I need what's like you, beautiful inside out. Sincere, innocent, innocent, hardworking," said Ardi when I asked him why he chose me.

"Gombal," I blushed in embarrassment.

***

I don't care about that. As long as he loves me and doesn't cheat, I can understand his bad habits. Every human has a bad thing. I am too. If Ardi would accept me with all my shortcomings. Then why should I not?

But something happened, the beginning of my life.

That night was Valentine's Day. Always happens every year, there must be pros and cons in meaning Valentine's day. I think the way Valentine's Day hangs on which side we stand. If we are religious, we certainly do not accept because Valentine symbolizes the celebration of the death of a priest with his lover after adultery. Haram law. If we are opportunists, choosing where the opportunity is favorable, it will be fine-fine if there is someone we love to bring a box of chocolates. And of course, will call out loud, defying with a burning spirit when offered to create an article with the theme "Haramnya Valentine" with a fee of 1 million. I chose the third side only, the whites.

That night, Ardi took me to a cafe in Paragon Mall. We eat, go for a walk and exchange gifts. I gave him a jacket, he gave me a beautiful pink watch.

It's ten o'clock past, Ardi will take me home.

"You want to stop by my hostel first?" tawar Ardi's.

I saw the pink watch he gave me. "Byeah, it's ten."

After arriving at Ardi's room, I threw my body on his bed. It's cozy. I squirm, stretching my stiff muscles. Ardi fell asleep by my side. He was watching me so intensely.

"My powder faded, huh?"

Ardi shakes.

“Kok ngliatinya like that?"

She smiled sweetly. "Gue love you so much, Ra." Ardi put his head close to my face. The smell of his signature perfume, Aqua Digio, the smell of bergamot oranges and lemons in combination with his masculine sweat, made my heart gasp. The demons around me must be soaring.

Ardi drew his face closer.

"Isn't it not good to do this, Ar? We are not convinced yet" I said, wanting to awaken Ardi and myself.

"We love each other, Ra. Don't you love me, Ra?" Ardi slightly distanced his face. It was obvious that he was disappointed.

His words stabbed me. "I love you, really. But..." I haven't been able to continue to say, Ardi has already caught me. I can't resist it. I loved her so much. Not willing if he suddenly left because of my refusal. That night, the demons laughed cheerfully at us.

***

Happiness is the initial scenario that love offers. And if a person has ordained himself to receive a love, he has also set himself ready to be hurt.

A week, two weeks, three weeks after the incident that night, the night that people said was a night of love, my relationship with him was still fine. However, exactly one month later, Ardi began to change. The cue was worse, he was impressed to stay away from me. I'm like I'm not who. For a girl, what does she do: hurt!

And the bitter truth first I must swallow.

"Gue has to go back to Jakarta, Ra," Ardi said. My tears melted following his departure. Even though he promised to keep our relationship even if it had to be LDR, but I was a little hesitant.

And my doubt is proven. For months I felt like I was in zero gravity. Hollowly. Ardi's figure began to evaporate. It disappeared into distance. I miss something I can't achieve. The fact was bitter when clearly my eyes saw the change of Facebook status Ardi became engaged, not with me. However, with a woman in a prawedding photo that he uploaded.

One word: I'm angry!

The world is collapsing, I doomed. The world is no longer friendly. I want to take anyone destroyed with me. I am so stupid, fooled by love. My only crown, it's gone. The betrayal of norms that I will endure for the rest of my life. Dilemmatic.

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Finished