While the Script is Drawn

Mosaic 28 - Make Me a Thug

I was born from a family. Since childhood, life has been good, everything has. And I'm an only child. All my wishes are fulfilled. My father was a state official, while my mother was a former famous model. I used to think my family life was okay. Although my father rarely came home to our magnificent home. Until a long time after I was old enough, I knew that mother was just a mistress of father. The man I called the father had another wife and other children. The house they occupied was even much grander than the one we were occupying right now.

When I was in 5th grade my dad rarely came home. Sometimes a week does not come home. And when I came home, I often heard mom and dad fighting. Then dad left again. Home again. Fighting again. Until never coming home. And the news that I heard you've been on the run for corruption. Our magnificent home is in Sita. In an instant my life changed.

I rented an apartment for us to live in. But there has not been 3 months we have moved from an apartment to a small and narrow contract. I don't have enough money to rent an expensive apartment. Our lives have been short since then. I'm no longer in school. I spent time playing with the kids around the rented. Different from my friends who used to be clean, neat and play with expensive cars, my friends in this neighborhood are very dirty and our most expensive toys are just football.

Mom's been a rarity at home since we lived in a rented house. He said he worked. Work what I don't take a headache. A lot of grapevine news my mom became a night woman. I didn't know what the woman was working like that night because I was a kid. I'm happy when mom gets home from work there's always good food for me to eat. Often there is also an om-om coming to our contract. There was a good om-om who brought me fruits and toys, but there was also an om-om who looked at me dislikefully.

There is one om who often comes to the contract and takes mom out. It was a silver luxury car. I knew her name was Andrea. He is Australian. He doesn't like me very much and I don't like him very much either. I hate that guy because ever since there was that guy, mom has rarely come home. And because she's the mother who left me at the orphanage.

“Listen to mom, Davi. Mom didn't leave you forever. I'll visit you often. When it's time we'll be together again. For a while you stayed here, yeah, son. You will have many friends here” said mother then left me.

***

In fact, there are many who do not like me in this orphanage, even the mothers of caregivers do not like me. They know I'm the son of a corrupt. Just because of a donation from my mother I was allowed to stay here.  

I started back at school like I used to. It's a little treating my stress here. But for a long time I couldn't stand it either. I'm being naughty. I used to mess up in class and at the parlor. They punished me. They sneered. And I don't take a headache because with my mischief I get my own satisfaction.

“Basic child corruptor, pantesan naughty kayak satan” a fat boy suddenly said that. I came to him and I hit him until his teeth were broken. She was crying screaming. As a result, I was taken out of the parlor. I'm actually really happy to be free of this damn place. However, it turned out to be out of this cage mother instead put me into the boarding school.

Living in a boarding school is not fun. Although there are a lot of people who are nice to me, I don't like this place. It only teaches, teaches and teaches. Here, dawn has to wake up, when I used to live in a luxurious house I never woke up at dawn. I can't stand living in the pesantren. I tried to go back to acting like time in a home, but here the rules are very strict. My mischief only resulted in punishments from pesantren administrators.

At least in this place I have friends, Joe and Rahim. Just like me they don't like living in pesantren either. We often miss school and teach. We went to a dimly lit shop. Ordering coffee, smoking and playing games.

“Can't stand me in the pesantren anymore, I want to be free. I want to live on the streets,” I told them.

“You want to live on the streets? I used to live on the streets. I can help you Dav,” Joe said. Then he told me that before in the pesantren he lived as a street busker. From the story I get a shadow if life like that will make me comfortable. I'm sick of all this. I don't care anymore good or wrong. I strengthened my resolve to get out of the pesantren. Joe gave me an address. He said he used to live there with Bang Ipung and other street friends. Bang Ipung said he was a thug that many people feared.

I secretly ran away from the pesantren. I'm looking for the address Joe gave me. The address led to a slum near the railroad tracks. It wasn't easy to find this address until I found it, whether I should name it a barn or a house or a hut and I met a well-built man , she has long hair and has a scorpion tattoo on the base of her arm. His face was fierce and rough, he glared at me scaring me.

“Who are you? Why come here? Want to find dead?” said fierce.

I was talking about Joe. He's a walking chicken kayak.

“Bang, make me a thug ?”

***

Bang-in-law laughed and I felt it was a bad sign. I could've been directly at this thug gebuki. Why would he bother to serve me, an unknown person. But I was wrong. She stroked my hair. At first I was uncomfortable, but it made me comfortable. I can open up to him. I told him all my problems, all of which I felt were very hard on.

“Here you will find peace” said bang Ipung,

Since that day I have lived here. I was introduced to the buskers. I also started to shake. I gave some money to Bang Ipung for electricity and daily meals, some for me to buy cigarettes. Every day so continues. And long time ago I started ‘ngelem’.they said with ‘ngelem’ can lighten the harsh burden of life. It does. When I inhaled this thing I felt the burden of life and the disappointment of everything I was doing was light. 

Not only ‘ngelem’, if there is more money I buy pills such as megadon, rohipnol, koplo or BK. Bang Ipung taught me to do all those things. Ever since I took those pills I became angry quickly. I like to do it myself. Absentminded. I like to yawn and if I don't take the pills my body feels achy hot cold.

From my fellow buskers I knew the effects of the drugs were very bad. But I don't care anymore. I want to die now or tomorrow. This world to me is so unpleasant to live in.

However, one night when I came home from busking Bang Ipung forcibly pulled my body into the house . I thought he was looking for the money I hid in my panties. I told him all the money I got I gave him. But he still stripped me of my clothes. And it turns out my guess was wrong. He was not looking for money, I suddenly felt something enter my rectum. It hurts so much. Bang ipung held me firmly and smothered my mouth. I want to scream for help. But nothing came out of my mouth because he smothered me so hard that my mouth was bleeding. Bang ipung doormat and sighing kayak ****. Then she stopped doing that after I heard her happy moans that made me sick.

I saw a beer bottle lying around, I picked it up. Bang Ipung was lying indignantly like a corpse. With great hatred and without a doubt I smashed this bottle of beer into the head of this jerk in front of me. He woke up and felt pain. The beer bottle broke, his head bleeding. He screams in pain. Not satisfied I took a small wooden chair that was rickety.  I hit him so many times that he no longer screamed. I suddenly started to panic but I don't think I have the slightest regret. I saw he was still breathing but unconscious. I'd better hurry from here before his other men come here. I ran as far away from this place as possible.

I have to find a place as far away as possible from Bang Ipung's residence. The news of his condition will quickly spread and his men will seek and kill me. I don't know if that person is dead or alive. I wish he was dead

***

It's been five days since that night and now I'm stuck and starving. I eat whatever I can find and drink as much water as I can if I find a water faucet. I sleep in front of the store or minimarket. Sometimes if lucky there are people who give me a pack of rames.

And it's bad my life didn't get here. When I was walking around because of hunger. Two guys dragged me into a lonely alley. I saw them. I seem to know. Well, they are Bang Ipung's men. I think with this kind of energy I won't be able to fight them. My death is near. They beat me up mercilessly. I no longer have the strength to scream. I see vaguely disgusting forms like demons –I think it's really a demon-laughs mock me. I want to be angry but it's free. What can I do? Maybe dying would be better. Quickly shut me down…

And I think I'm dead. I'm not conscious anymore.

***

I opened my eyes. My consciousness is slowly recovering. Is this heaven? Ah, where is it possible. I was put in heaven that is absolutely impossible. If this is hell I just believed. But hell's not what people say, huh? There's no fire. No angels torture. There are no cries of pain. There was even an infusion tube stuck in my hand. And some people are scowling. I'm confused, though.

“Where am I? This hell? Who are you?”  i asked. I think my question just sounded like my weak sigh.

“Relax, Dik. You're safe here. We found you in two thugs. When we drove those thugs out, you were unconscious. Then we take you to this puskesmas ” said one of them. He looks the oldest among the others.

 “So I'm not dead? Shit... whereas I prefer that I die.”

They were shocked by my words.

“Astagfirullah, istigfar dik. Life is a gift, brother."

“But not for me.”

The most old-looking person stared at his friends one by one. They nodded and then one by one left the two of us.

“If sister deigns sister can tell me everything that sister feels to me. My name is Hashim,” said the man softly once in my ear.

I hesitate to tell you everything. Hashim said he wouldn't tell anyone and he didn't force me. Her soft words made me finally tell her. I spilled it all over Hasyim. Tears also melt. I can't hold all this on my own. Deep down I want to go back to my old little life. I want to be like everyone else who has a full family. I want to go back to school. I want to be kind to others.

“There is no need for you to be sad anymore, Sister. Now you have a new family. If you want to stay with us. We will gladly accept you as a family.” said Hashim. Hashim assured me that I must return to a righteous life.

Then Hashim with his friends often visited me. They also brought good food. They tell jokes that contain a lot of value for kindness. They also tell about themselves. It turns out that many of them come from broken home families as well. And they love living where they are now, which turns out to be NGOs that donate people who care about us. They also assured me that I would love to stay with them. They said I was already a part of them. I can't wait to recover and start a new life. I want to be a good person again because now I have people who love me.

I may have found my home again.

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Finished