WHEN I MISS PRAYER

Episode 13 - Worry

Since this afternoon's meeting with Ustadz Rehan's family, Asma has continued to confine herself to the room. With tears still flowing on the cheeks and a sense of chest tightness, Asthma can only harbor it. How could he ignore his feelings for a man he so desperately expected to come as the first person to preach to him. As love develops in the soul, suddenly the heart feels an unstoppable urge to express it. Even the eyes that meet every time , can not express it. So, what to do ? a girl who has been betrothed to someone ! I can only sit and think. Even there was a hope that every longing entrusted in every prayer would knock at the door of his heart to realize the long-awaited love, waiting for him and expecting his presence.

“whatever I am feeling, the truth of love or lust. But on the other hand, why do I not want to lose the figure of a man who has become kaka as my playmate when I was a child. That togetherness ..I don't like to lose all that. But, the feeling of my heart at this moment …. O Allah, give the guidance of the truth from You.” (Inner Asthma , who is now sitting on a mattress while hugging a pillow.)

“in this condition I cannot decide anything. But they all must be waiting for my answer. Allahu Akbar .. Allahu Akbar .. Allahu Akbar . verily You are always with the servants who ask patiently and pray.” Further.

Now Ihsan is with his sister on the edge of a large field in his residential complex, while staring at small children who are playing foot ball. Raina who realized together, could not bear to see her brother bear his own burden. Raina began the conversation with the intention that the kaka would share the story of what became a burden on her heart.

“abang why ? raina noticed, my brother was silent. Even at home, my brother did not respond to the conversation of ummi and abi. Didn't you approve of this matchmaking, bang ?” Raina asked as she looked at the kaka from her right.

Highlight the eyes of Ihsan is still grounded to the little children who cheerfully and cheerfully play ball with their peers.

“it feels like I want to go back to a time where I only think about my pleasure to play with my friends. Without having to think about something this complicated that I myself do not know how to solve.” Reveal Ihsan who was quite depressed with his father's decision taken without talking to him.

“what's complicated, bang and what should you finish ? even the one who should think about this is asthma, he who should think well to accept or not the application for abi.” Raina.

“that's the problem. Brother knows, asthma and fun like each other. What you clearly know is that you really like asthma and want to propose to him. What has become a burden for me is my unease with the assyam, my friend. And the more burden of asthma is the liver that has gone first

love others.” Ihsan.

“as complicated is that , bang ? then how ? don't you want this wedding to happen ?” ask Raina.

“raine, if only this wedding had happened. I consider this to be the destiny of God, that asthma is my soul mate. If not, I'm not hurt. Because from the beginning I knew him as a child, he was just like you who became my sister.” Ihsan.

“what brother wouldn't want to talk about this with asthma ?” Ask again.

“you want to do that. But when you hear the words of ustadz hasan, if the decision is fully submitted to asthma. I lowered my intention. Because, his father alone did not want to interfere in taking this decision let alone me, rai.” Ihsan.

“i really thought about my friendship with fun. Don't let this interfere with my friendship with her.” Ihsan.

“god's not , bang. You are both adults. Hope you can think good in this.” Raina Sahut.

“ aamiin, god willing.” Ihsan.

The night is getting late for eyes that do not want to sleepy. His heart was still pounding, his breathing was tight, his chest felt like it was squeezed. Either a blessing or a burden to him. This decision is very difficult to determine the best. Even tonight was not enough time for him to think, uniting the thoughts and feelings in his heart. Both are very different. Asthma now laid her body while staring at the ceiling of her room roof. Suddenly his phone embroidered signifying incoming call, written on his screen “Ihsan Safaraz”.

Conversations via phone :

Asthma : assalamu’alaikum, bang ..

Ihsan: wa’alaikumussalam .. asthma has not slept ?

Asthma: not .

Ihsan: brother, may ask for asthma to take time tomorrow morning after the dhuha mosque. Around nine or ten.

Ihsan: well then, assalamu’alaikum.

Asthma : wa’alaikumussalam ..

Asthma immediately put her phone on a small table and turned off the lights that were beside her. While Ihsan, in his room still standing, stepped to the right and left with a feeling that was not right. Restless, restless, worried. He felt the difference in Asthma when responding to a call from him. He seemed angry or lazy to talk to her.

“actually what is asthma thinking about me ? does he think that this is my will and desire?. astaghfirullahal’adzim .” he said as he lowered his head behind his arm and fell on the floor.

Calm and silent. Silent and silent. All corners look dark to a large room. The current – is what is needed to maintain balance and absorb life energy in the soul. This is where you go back inside yourself. Meet his soul, greet his soul, dialogue with his wits and devote to the one who created him. It is this quiet night, to reunite the parts of the self that are scattered in tiredness or torn in a long daily life.

It has become a habit for teenagers who are members of the ReMas (teenager of the mosque) Ar Rahman to wake up in one third of the night, despite the busy and full of burdens that accumulate in the days that make them tired. But not one bit terbesit in each heart to leave the sunnah which from time to time has fought for his spirit and privilege. Asham, Ihsan, Syahrul and Zidan who spent the night in the mosque, performed evening prayers together. Asma was still asleep with her blanket thick. And Raina who was calm in prostration in her room.

“ya god, the owner of love in this heart. Set a name for your truth to love. A name

it is written to love each other. O God, remove the restlessness in our hearts, and enlighten our minds to act in kindness. O Allah, make it easy for asthma, my friend to give the best decisions and answers for himself, his family, my family and also the community that became his accusation field. Allahumma laasahla illaamaaja- ’altahusahla wa antaataj’hazna idzasyi’tasahla (Yes Allah has no ease except what You make easy, and You make distress easy when You will.) Aamiin yaa robbal’alaamiin.” Raina said in her prayer.

While clearing her face, Raina remembered her best friend and intended to call her. He returned the face to his wardrobe and took the phone that was placed in the drawer of the lamp table, beside his bed. One missed call and the second one raised but with the voice of Asthma still hoarse.

Conversations by phone :

Raina: your asthma just woke up ?

Asthma: what time is it ?

Raina: four o'clock less than a quarter, asthma.

Asthma: astaghfirullah .. I pray first yes. Later I call again . assalamu’alaikum.

Raina: wa’alaikumussalam warohmatullah .

Asthma wakes up, steps into the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth and continues with ablution to perform tahajud prayers. In the silence and tranquility of the night, prayer is offered to God. All the wishes and hopes he poured out also did not forget to ask for directions for something he was facing.

“yaa Allah, who knows all the contents of my heart even though I have not poured out my words. Surely You can also know what I am feeling and You know better the true and good feelings for me. O God, You have known who the man whose name I have always called in my prayer. Give me confidence in my heart over these two feelings. O Allah, if this proposal is good for me and if I can love it with all my heart loves and if so many good things we can do together, then strengthen me and make it easy for me to accept this proposal.” He said in prayer and continued with a prayer written in the Qur’an which was read by the Prophet Moses as: Robbisy rohlii shodrii wayassrlii amrii wahlul’uqdatammillisaani yafqohuu qoulii “Yaa Rabbku, report my chest, and make it easy for me my business, and take my stiffness off my tongue, that they may understand my words, ..” (QS. Thoha (20) 25-28)

        After the completion of the prayer and berdo’a, Asma continued by reading the Qur’an. His heart felt peaceful and full of calm, his tears began to drip. Her tightness felt airy, her tears spilling like taking off all the stifling burdens. Until the dawn of the Adhan awakened him. His downcast face began to lift, his hands moving to wipe away the tears that were soaking both cheeks.

He rose again to ablution and rushed to the prayer room to celebrate with his parents. His footsteps swung down the stairs and stepped until he reached the room designed by the father to worship.

The room is open and decorated with yellow lights and a large closet to put some Quran’an and reading books with a thick cover. Arriving there, Asma immediately got a smile from her mother and warm embrace to close the shaf.

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