WANT TO DIE WITH ME?

Chapter 6 - Finding the Truth

Haruka pov's

Why does everyone hate me?

Am I wrong if I can't talk like everyone else?

Was I born to make people around me suffer?

If so, what should I be born for?

Born in this world only to be hated, unwanted, and discarded. I was fed up with it, I was shaking, actually I was scared when I found out that people around me were starting to hate me. I don't want to be like this either, I don't want to be born without a voice like this.

I hate myself, I hate everything that is related to me. I don't know how else, being hated by others is so scary, I never did anything wrong, so why do they hate me?

Is it because I am disabled? If that's the case, I'd rather not be born at all.

"Hey mute ... You're disgusting, don't ever come near us again."

I often heard that phrase over and over in my previous class (before moving). I was often ridiculed, avoided, harassed, and humiliated several times by my classmates. I was made by the target bully those who have high caste in class, I am weak, helpless so I just obey.

I was afraid that if I fought back then I would be hated even more by them, I was afraid that if complaining to their teacher would be expelled and I would be hated even more by my other classmates. That's right, my existence here is just a problem, rather than making others suffer, I prefer myself to suffer, that's enough.

"Read, that's a good book."

One day I met a mysterious man while in the library, his face looked gloomy and his eyes looked dim without emitting any light at all. Just looking at his eyes, making you seem drawn by the darkness itself, those eyes were terrifying.

I didn't know the name, but when our eyes met each other, I felt something strange in my chest, something we seemed to have met somewhere, our hearts feel connected to each other, although I don't know if that man feels it either, it's just that I can't lie to this feeling of mine.

I gave her a very good novel, I had read her novel many times and still I cried despite knowing the storyline in the future.

Novels have become a part of my own life, so I want to share my happiness with others. I want others to know, that happiness can also be found from small things like a book, in books you can find various interesting things, such as the style of the language, and the character of the diction.

I really enjoy reading, because I can convey my expression freely, without being tied to a voice. So, I was very excited when the man received the book.

Tomorrow, I meet the man in the library again, I don't expect more whether the man actually read the novel I recommended or not. After all, a person like me does not expect more happiness than this.

"This novel is so good, I want to give it back. Thanks."

The man returned the novel to me, I was quite surprised, then I asked him which part was interesting about the novel.

"I guess when the main character lost hope, and there the Heroine tried to cheer him up."

Both of my eyes widened, this man actually read it. In addition, the scene was also one of the scenes I was most interested in. Where the main character in the novel is falling, then the Heroine comes as hope and saves the main character in his slump.

I almost cried, but I tried my hardest to hold it. I wanted to be friends with this guy, but I knew that he might not want to be friends with a mute girl like me. But at least I want to talk to him more.

Subconsciously, I handed back the new novel that was in my bag. I hope he will read it again, I want him to understand more about the different expressions in a novel, I want him to understand more about me.

"I'll read it."

When I heard that sentence coming out of the multitudes, I couldn't help but smile. After that, day after day, he always went to the library to return the book, while I gave him a new novel to read, this man actually read all the novels I recommended. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I've never been this happy in my life.

I want time to stop if I can, enjoying times like this even longer. I want the two of us to exchange feelings for each other, even deeper, until each heart is touched and warmed.

I want him to know more about me, and vice versa, I want to know more about him. It's strange, even though we meet every day, but I still don't dare to ask her name. This man was quiet, he never cared about his surroundings nor anyone else, his gaze was always blank and focused only on something that interested him.

That black iris of eyes, I want her to see me, I want to know her view of this world, whether it is a luminous gaze or a deep darkness, if fate does connect us to each other, then I hope that we can both understand each other.