WANT TO DIE WITH ME?

Chapter 3 - Transfer student

Do you know what hope is?

Maybe that word means a lot in our lives. And perhaps, that word is also the reason why we are still living in this world. Always look forward to something fun that is not sure to happen, making your mind and heart feel a little happy and excited.

Hope can also be interpreted as happiness, but it can also be interpreted as sadness as well. Try to feel, when something you really expect turns out to be very different from what you want. Our feelings that were happy or happy, I make sure it will immediately change drastically at that time.

Hope is both light and darkness, illuminating you with its luster but also dragging you into the darkness where there is only despair in it.

Leaning on the balcony, I read a novel entitled "Hope and Darkness" which was a novel I had obtained from the school library.

With the sky filled with thousands of stars, the gusts of wind that hit my entire body, making it both cool and cold, I remained fixated on the novel I was reading.

"What do you think is an ideal life?"

"Endeal life? ... I think it's like you're living a happy life without worrying about anything."

"You mean, life without problems?"

"That's how it is, but ... It's just the excuse of someone who wants to run away from reality like me."

"Then, if you were given one chance to live without problems, would you accept it?"

I read the dialogue between the Protagonist and the supporting character in the novel. Maybe I understand a little why the girl said that this novel is so good, there are a lot of hidden philosophies in it, and the protagonist himself has his own psychological problems.

"No.." she answered. "I want to stay like this, even with problems. It proves that I'm alive, I'm here, I'm breathing, I'm alive, something like showing that I'm human."

The gusts of wind grew stronger, pounding my hair and letting it fall apart. Tears flowed from eye to chin, for some reason, with just this kind of scene alone I shed tears again. This is the second time I shed tears after reading a novel.

I read it to the end, and closed it. My tears were dry, and the air was getting colder, closing my book back to my room, laying my body on the bed and putting the novel on the bedside table.

I covered my eyes with my right arm, sighed to regulate my emotions, and then fell asleep.

***

He asked me my opinion after reading this novel. I answered him honestly that the novel was very touching, and he looked very happy.

From that time on, day after day, I went to the library every day .. For some reason, though my feet were reluctant to go there, but my heart said something else, my heart told me I had to see the girl.

Every time I go to the library, the girl always recommends me a novel that is very interesting to her. However, whenever he communicated, he never used his voice, he simply wrote down something from the book he was carrying.

Well, after all, it's not something I should go with. Every night I always read the novels he recommended, every novel I read until now only discusses life, and it is perfect for someone who is looking for the truth of life like me.

Is it really alive?

What was I born for?

What kind of fate awaits me in front?

What end awaits me?

What about my future?

All those questions haunt me all the time. As a result, I am often anxious and anxious excessively. It seems that I have been diagnosed with a psychiatric problem, I do not have enough courage to tell my problems to others, I do not have a trusted figure at all, including my own parents.

"Today we're going to have a transfer student from the next class. For some reason, she should be transferred in this class, so please get familiar with her ... Haruka, you can come in now."

Just as the first lesson in class began, the teacher announced it in front of all the students. And all the students in my class were starting to get nervous with each other, excited like crazy.

I don't know what's so special about having one student in this class, I think the impact is the same, adding a crowd to the class. Looking at the void, the classroom door opened.

Long hair, with bright blue irises. He walked in elegantly, his slender body, and his deathly pale complexion, he was like a butterfly that was nearing its end.

Instantly, the sight in front made both of my eyes widen. He wrote down something from the book he was carrying, then showed it to the rest of the class.

"My name is Haruka Shinomiya, greetings!"