WANT TO DIE WITH ME?

Chapter 5 - A terrible feeling

I'm afraid! I'm afraid! I'm afraid! I'm nauseous! I'm nauseous! I'm nauseous! I feel like I'd like to spit out all my stomach now. No longer with this feeling, I do not want to face this great fear and uneasiness.

Whyyy?! Why do so many people have to suffer.

My head is dizzy, and my body is warming up. It was so hot that I was sweating. Help u! Help u! Somebody! Whoever it is! Helpme. I don't want to go back to this dark place, it hurts, even the sound can't penetrate it.

Too quiet, this place was empty and silent. Frighteningly, I could not feel my senses working at all, my chest started to tighten, and my breath gasped. I'm so scared! I can't even see anything but black, it feels like ... I'm already dead.

"Huh!?"

Someone patted me on the shoulder, and I regained consciousness. I looked around, so ... I overslept, now the class is still going on and the teacher is explaining the material being studied.

Even though it was just a dream, it somehow felt real, so real that it made my heart beat. Even now I sweat not because of it, besides my chest also feels tight, what a terrible dream.

"Are you okay?"

Glancing to the side, I saw Haruka who asked me. Of course he doesn't really talk, he uses the medium of books to communicate.

Haruka just moved into this class yesterday, right ... It had been a day since he had moved to this class. However, none of the students in this class wanted to talk to her.

I had expected that sitting next to me would have an impact on her social status. If only he hadn't sat next to me, he would have had many friends by now.

"I'm good ... Please don't talk to me in class." I answered.

Not long after the bell rang, indicating the entry of the break. I left my chair and Haruka who was still shocked by my words just now. I think I broke his heart.

Yeah, that's better. After all I was a hated person throughout the class, so adding one more person would not cause my mentality to go down. I'm used to being hated rather than getting affection. Because this is all my karma.

***

Going to the library I do my usual routine. After returning the novel I borrowed, I was still looking for a book to find out the truth about my life.

I walked through the halls filled with bookshelves on the right and left. With the smell of a typical book, I glanced from top to bottom, every corner and side, in search of the book I wanted.

But it was all for nothing, I still couldn't find what I was looking for after fifteen minutes of searching. If there were no air conditioning machines, maybe my clothes would be even wetter with sweat.

Deciding to go back because the break was so short and I had not had lunch, I started to step foot. But right before that, someone hit me from behind.

The collision was very light, so I didn't fall. And it looks like this guy somehow accidentally crashed his body into me. Turning around, I found Haruka frantically writing something on her book.

What this girl was talking about, from any point of view, it was clear that I was the one who was the bad guy. After all, I told him to keep quiet and not talk to me in class.

Well, forget. I don't want to argue because it's too exhausting.

"It's okay."

Haruka smiled, then sighed in relief. "By the way Akira, I have a good book for you, I hope you read it seriously in your spare time." Finished writing, Haruka took out a book from her bag.

He thrust it at me, and the book he thrust was the same as before. It's a novel.

"Thank you."

Haruka just smiled, and wrote back. "About, if you can tell. Why don't you want to talk to me in class?"

"It's none of your business."

"I should know! We sit down anyway. I don't want Akira to feel uncomfortable with me."

"I told you it's none of your business."

In the end I gave up and ignored him, walking first leaving Haruka behind, she kneels me continuously. You see, why she should be placed next to my seat, this girl is very annoying after all.

Well, I just have to ignore it like before.

"Hey, do you know Haruka Shinomiya is now transferring classes?"

"Ah, if it's not wrong he's the one who can't talk it is. Disgusting, besides that he also seemed to be very confident with his face. Because of her, many couples break up just because their guy starts chasing her."

"Aren't you!! He's the worst. Just because he moved classes, don't think he'll ever get away from us."

I heard the voices of two girls talking from behind the shelf instead of next door. And it was quite surprising because Haruka's name was mentioned, now I have a little reason why she was transferred to my class.

He's bullied...

Whether it's physical or psychological violence I don't really know. But to be sure, the case is more than me who is just shunned and ostracized in class.

Haruka once again hit me from behind, she clasped tightly onto my clothes. And burying his face in my back, his body trembled, and I could feel the overwhelming fear he was experiencing. So I'm not the only one who suffers in this world, there are still others who suffer more, but they keep smiling to hide the wounds they suffer.