TOXIC: Story of Masha

The Part 28

It's not that Masha doesn't want to accept Doni's good intentions, it's just that for Masha, it's too rushed if she has to think about it now.

And if Masha can be forthright, Masha is not sure if her affection for Doni is enough to make her think up to the marriage stage.

Masha still wants to live it first, as a close friend, closer than her current friendship with Mike, while Masha learns to recognize Doni better.

Doni was already lying on the bed, with a sideways position turned to Masha who was sitting on the sofa.

Masha looked at the young man.

Doni may be a bit disappointed, as Masha says that she loves Doni, but Masha doesn't want to answer about her idea of getting married.

But, how else?

Masha did not want to lie, and chose to just silence her first.

Masha then approached Doni who was seen moving a little in his sleep, and watched Doni carefully.

The young man was still sound asleep, even though his brows looked wrinkled, as if he was uncomfortable with something that might disturb his sleep.

Masha kissed Doni's cheeks slowly, then rubbed her head for a while, and Doni seemed to like it, her eyebrows no longer furrowing and looking calmer.

Seeing that Doni was calmer, Masha went back to the sofa.

Just as Masha was sitting, Mike was seen walking into the room, and seemed to notice Doni for a moment, before he approached Masha and took a seat on the sofa.

Mike was wearing only a thin bright sleeveless T-shirt, matched with shorts.

Masha felt like she was leaning against something hard, and as if she were being clamped with a wooden branch, as Mike hugged her.

Mike's body looks solidly muscular, and Masha has never seen it before because of the shirt Mike used to wear.

This time when Mike was wearing such a thin T-shirt, even his plaid abdominal muscles, Masha could be seen though faintly.

"Why haven't you slept? Didn't you look very sleepy?" ask Mike.

Mike spoke in a soft voice, until it sounded like he was whispering, perhaps to wake Doni.

"I can't sleep." replied Masha.

"I was here... But, it looks like something you guys are talking about is quite serious. So, I went back to my room" Mike said.

"Is it because of the conversation between you, that makes you sleepless?" continued Mike.

"It has nothing to do with it. I just lost my drowsiness, just like that" replied Masha.

"Why not try lying in bed? Maybe you can fall asleep instead of sitting here" Mike said.

"I was lying down with Doni, but I still couldn't sleep, until Doni was asleep first... I just moved to this couch," replied Masha.

"I thought you were going to sleep in your room." continued Masha.

"The plan was like that, but I got bored in the room, when I couldn't sleep and just circled around in bed. So, I'm here. Just checking you both out." said Mike.

"Eh! What do you think we're gonna do?" ask Masha.

Mike smiled widely, and laughed a little.

"Don't misunderstand me! I know that you will not do anything excessive, with the door of the room wide open like that...

I just want to check, in case there's anything you need. Maybe extra blankets, or pillows, or whatever." Mike replied at length.

"Hmmm... That so?!" masha.

"Yes." answered Mike, then looked at Doni.

"Doni can still fall asleep without having nightmares. Although often experience *mood swing... His attitude is also sometimes overprotective... It's more or less the same as me" said Mike.

"I'm also often overprotective... When there are people I love, or are close to, I always want to keep them... And I realized later, that my attitude had gone too far" Mike replied.

"When I consulted with a therapist, he said of the many symptoms, there are indeed those...

When someone has experienced trauma, anyone who is close to that person, will be taken care of properly so that the person is not injured...

Although, his intention to keep has crossed the line, even almost like a possessive person," continued Mike.

Masha fell silent while thinking about Mike's words.

According to what Masha caught while they were resting at the guard post on the way back this afternoon, Mike even seemed to blame himself, when his acquaintance committed suicide.

It is possible that Doni is also so, until Doni thinks to marry Masha, so that he can continue to keep Masha.

Either that's a good thing, or it'll only make things difficult for Masha later.

"Actually for me, seeing a therapist feels pointless... Although I did feel a little better, but most likely, I felt that I would not be able to recover completely" said Mike.

"But, didn't you advise me to go to therapy?" ask Masha.

"Yes, it's okay to make you feel calmer. Although still have to live life with drugs continuously." said Mike.

"Eh! That's not what I mean! If your bad experience is not too influential in your daily life, maybe you can still recover completely...

I wish you could, and it's not like I'm really screwed, if I miss my meds" Mike continued.

"Then why did you leave your medicine in the apartment?" ask Masha.

"It's just medicine to help me sleep that I usually miss...

If I could be honest, I would deliberately not drink it often. I want to try to work on my own, so that at the very least, I can sleep like a normal person" Mike replied.

"So, you mean people like you, Doni, and me, that's not normal? A mentally ill person, is that it?" ask Masha.

"Yes. Want to not, it is already so. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. Nobody's perfect, right?!" said Mike.

Masha fell silent again, when she heard Mike's words.

"Hmmm... Mike, can I know? Do you know if you missed your meds" asked Masha.

"I won't be able to speak well with you like I am today. Maybe I could suddenly cry, or laugh at myself" Mike replied.

"Then how did you get through your school days?" ask Masha.

"Hmmm... Back then, until I went to college, the symptoms weren't too severe. Hence, I can still go to school and continue my studies well...

But, ever since I finished college and came back here, my swing mood has gotten worse...

I could cry and shut myself up for days. Not wanting to eat, not wanting to drink, to the point of cleaning myself, I also felt reluctant...

In fact, I was thinking of taking my own life" Mike replied.

"My father then took me to a psychiatrist, because my behavior was considered unusual" continued Mike.

When experiencing *disorientation only, it feels like Masha has been overwhelmed.

What if Masha gets that bad mood swing?

Masha took a heavy breath, hoping that Masha would not experience any bad symptoms like Mike.

________________________

(*Mood swing \= sudden change of mood or emotional state)

(*Disorientated \= changes in mental state that make a person confused and do not know his location, his identity, and the date or hour in the situation.)