This Is It?
Obsessions
Life is sometimes unfair. For those who have an eye-catching level, there is always an apology when making mistakes. As for those who have a mediocre or substandard level like me, when making a mistake must be ready to withstand thousands of blasphemies.
Why is the world filled with judgment from the eyes? Yes, I am envious. If only I had a charming face and posture, I would have confidence in socializing. I want to feel the beauty of being friends. Also receive praise, be approached by many, and have the courage to express love without fear of rejection.
Why, God? Why don't you give me one privilege to survive in the world? Could it be when my face split was in the back row?!
Since I was in High School (SMA) my life has not been exciting. The expected period of physical change brought about a major change, it made me appear as the Ugly. No one would give a hand to get to know me.
Even when in class I sat in the front row, there were often yells if I was ruining the scene. I also ended up always staying at the end of the chair that was not close to the window. Wearing it!
I thought about suicide, but I was still afraid of sin. Hoping to reincarnate into a Korean Idol, but I had to take thousands of steps westward while searching for Monk Tong. Or did I ask Park Hyung Seok where he got the perfect body? It was a fantasy written and illustrated by Park Tae Joon. Huh!!!
Now, I've been living my life as a student for 3 months. But from the start of OSEK until the beginning of learning, when I introduced myself no one responded. All of them even slammed the vision in the other direction. Is that as bad as I look to not deserve the slightest attention?
Every time I take a shower, I rub my body hard. Sometimes I use a steel brush to get shiny fast. Guess what's going on? Yes, even my body is scuffed and sore.
I have also spent millions of rupiah – results of saving school pocket money that was never spent – to buy heightening drugs. As a result, my height is still at 165 cm. Is it possible to reach 180 cm before this growth period ends?
Huh! I run out of sense whenever I lament fate. Nevermind! Mending me home, then sleeping. Afternoon lectures in addition to making sleepy also make the mind seperate in daydreams.
“Hai...” A woman, a classmate, waved and shouted at me from about 15 meters away. “Bome with yuk!”
Metha, does that call really lead to me? Our residence is close by. I didn't think she wanted to come home with me.
After only a few steps away, Metha approached. His right hand stretched out as if he wanted to pull my left hand. My heart is beating so hard. Waw! I will remember this day for the rest of my life.
“Come, Mut! I was a laper. Lu catapulted really the way,” said Metha.
Justright. The hand that Metha pulled was not mine, but Mutia's.
Damnit damnit! I should have looked right and left, front and back before cultivating confidence. Fortunately, I did not respond to Metha's call.
“That freak did smile at me. Very disgusting deh,” Metha said with gesture whispered to Mutia. However, his voice was quite clear I could hear.
“Met, you can't talk like that,” Mutia's response.
Then Mutia turned around, and looked at me. This time, I lowered my head. Of course, it wasn't me that he wanted to look at. I decided to speed up the pace ahead of the two of them.
After arriving at the boarding house, I immediately spilled the frustration by throwing the backpack on the floor. Yeah, Metha says I'm so disgusting. Am I in his eyes like a smelly and despicable piece of trash?
This heartache that Metha causes is nothing. I'm used to hearing it. However, being gathered together with the words of the other friends seems to form a nuclear in my mind.
Akhhhh!!! I then rummaged through the Google search engine to find recipes to be handsome overnight. Sounds impossible. However, this world is sometimes filled with things that are beyond the limits of logic, right?!
