The Stains Of The Past

Regretting

After the manmana drove me to the bus terminal, drove me to the bus I was going to ride, where it was still waiting for me until the bus took me away from my hometown.

At 4pm I left Jakarta,

arriving in bandung almost seven o'clock at night, looks a lot of thugs around the terminal make me afraid. I looked at my aunt's home address, I breathed my tired breath, somehow my fate this time, it was night I was confused where to go, I was confused where to go, I don't know this terminal because it's the first time I've been out of town without parents.

I step on my feet towards a more crowded place, with fear enveloping me.

It was my first time out of town on a dark day. Lucky terminal thugs are not interested in me, thank God.

I walked in no direction, until my steps stopped when I found many street vendors lined up neatly in front of me with his wagon, many merchants selling fried rice, meatballs, batagor, and so on, and another again.

Seeing it all makes my stomach sound, a worm mark on my stomach asking for food rations.

I stepped towards one of the merchants, sitting on a plastic bench near his wagon. There seems to be a middle-aged couple who also like they are waiting for his order.

"The meatballs are one. "Talk to the merchant.

"Yes neng. Mix neng "pronounce the meatball trader.

"Yes bang" I said

"Wait a minute to say "meaning meatball trader.

"Yes bang "my word.

"Where to go neng" said the middle-aged mother who was also waiting for her meatball message.

I didn't answer right away, talking to strangers scared me, not answered for sure I would be considered arrogant.

I sighed and replied "want to my aunt's house" I said, looking down. Sad, of course, to remember what happened today.

"Himself alone." This time it was the father who was with the mother who asked. Looks like they're a couple.

I haven't had time to answer the meatball trader came with my order meatball bowl. I thanked him after the meatball dealer kept the bowl in front of me.

I ate voraciously, despite the many problems I faced, but somehow my stomach could not be compromised. I also forgot the question that the fathers asked.

After eating the mother who asked me again asked.

"Whose name are you?"

"Daughter ma'am" I said, I looked down and talked too long with a stranger scared me but seeing that mom and dad's smiles made me calm down a little.

" you want to go to your aunt's house, if you know where the address is?. Who knows we can help deliver" said the father of Soleh, who I just knew his name from the mother earlier. I'm glad to hear that. I really wish someone would help me despite the fear in my heart of a new person, but there is a little bright spot in my heart hearing that someone is willing to help me.

"Yes sir briefly "say me while opening a small bag containing kan hp and pocket money like what Mother said when at home before I left earlier.

I scratched the contents of my little bag, but I never found a small paper with the address of my aunt's house, I took out the items but I still could not find the paper I was looking for.

I could not hold my sobs, my mind was afraid of going where I was looking for the paper.

Lady Siti came closer to me and hugged me, calmed me down enough, she asked me where was the last time I saw the paper, I said earlier in the terminal.

We went back to the bus terminal looking for a paper containing my aunt's home address, but after almost an hour we searched for the little paper, never to be found.

I sat on the roadside hugging my knees confused as to where to go, I cried at her dark companions of the night, her noisy interlocking vehicles, and the middle-aged pair that accompanied me from earlier.

I don't know where else to go. Tired of the long journey coupled with various problems today left me in a blanket of mixed feelings of sadness, destruction, anger, disappointment at Rio who had made my life fall apart like this, had I not gone with them and not lied to my mother, it might not have been like this, had it been and had it been all that passed my mind, an inexorable regret for all that had happened.

Lady Siti invited me to come with her to her house. I didn't refuse because I was so tired, somehow my fate, went with them just in case they were bad people, she said, I don't care if I'm sixteen but I'm out of wedlock again. All the ideals that I had imagined would be realized, and all had to be crushed before I stepped in, now I resigned to this situation.

It turned out that Ms. Siti and her husband took me to her house. Simple house with its white paint. I was in the room of his son who said he was studying in Jakarta. I cleaned myself in the bathroom that was near the kitchen, because it was the only bathroom in this house. I came out of the bathroom with my nightgown that I had brought to the bathroom.

I passed Siti's mom who was sitting on the couch watching tv he offered me a meal, obviously I refused because I was still full because I had meatballs.

Eh I think there is something I forgot, I forgot to pay the meatballs what maybe Mr Soleh who paid my meatballs?. I went into the room condemning my stupidity, for forgetting to pay for the meatballs, because I was too panicked. I lay my body on a bed that only fit one of these people, maybe tomorrow I will change the meatballs, and tomorrow I will look for a contract so as not to bother the middle-aged couple too much.

I saw this room, a Rock poster, a guitar hanging on the wall, a dresser, a study table, complete with neatly arranged books, a boy's room once. I close my eyes to restore strength for tomorrow, I must not give up, I must live my life, moreover there is a small creature growing in my stomach.

I rubbed my stomach.

Mama will take care of you, son, even though we will only live together later. My speech.

And I finally fell asleep, embarking on an adventure in dreamland.

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Sorry so much typo😊

Don't forget to leave a trace yes Gays let othor know who are the kind people who stop by the work of othor😊😊😊

Othor also received criticism and advice yes, so do not hesitate to criticize him