The Secret of Zoya's Love

Free Feelings Expressions

This morning became the last morning Zoya worked, all was sudden. Even today, he would resign instantly anyway, there would probably be protests for others, due to mutation and job switching, he said, providing extra busy for other employees who will replace Zoya as administrative staff. 

When she first arrived at the office, Zoya retrieved all the files that Wildan had requested yesterday, at the same time he will submit his resignation letter to the in charge of the Nurul Jannah Foundation which has been fully delegated to Wildan. No one knows if Zoya is getting married tomorrow, including her best friends Hasna and Nila. 

"Assalamualaikum." Zoya said after knocking on Wildan's door. 

"Greetings, please come in, Zoy! " Wildan's smile broadened as she welcomed the presence of the girl who had long attracted her attention. 

Zoya steps in, albeit with a still-vibrating heart, each time meeting the man who had once fulfilled her feelings.

'Control your feelings, Zoy' is what he always stresses for himself. 

Not daring to look at Wildan's face, Zoya chose to lower her gaze as she held out several maps on the table, which were then boarded with an envelope of her resignation letter. 

"What is this, Zoy? " wildan asked curiously as she held the brown envelope. 

"Ehmm, I want to resign, today too, Gus! " she shrieked in a slightly quivering voice, with all her might holding all the mixed flavors within her chest. 

"What's? Wh why? " At once Wildan was taken aback by what Zoya had just said. 

"Y-yes, from tomorrow I can no longer work. Sorry, if all of this is sudden!" Zoya's words sounded stifled, her throat felt choked to say her goal. 

"Why? What's up?" Just that short question that Wildan was capable of asking because it was all too shocking for him. 

The shocked man leaned his sturdy back on the oversized chair. Right now, his gaze was fixed on the girl who was looking down in front of him to search for the truth of the decision Zoya had taken. 

"Zoy, why don't you answer?" insist Wildan who is still so curious.

"Sa-I.. tomorrow, I'm getting married!" zoya said with a stammer.

"What's? " This time Wildan was really surprised, what an answer that the sweet-eyed man never expected. 

While the girl who was still sitting in front of him was bowed by squeezing his fingers on his lap to eliminate the anxiety that had exploded in his heart. 

"Zoy, that's not true, is it? " Wildan advanced her body looking for a crack to find the lie of what Zoya had just said. 

"Are you forced? Or is your family under pressure?" investigate Wildan trying to parse the true story. 

Zoya shook her head and the brown bead was momentarily closed to hold back the crying she had been weeping since. It takes great strength to say it all to someone who already occupies his feelings. 

"Zoy, do you want that wedding? Do you love that guy? " Zoya just fell silent making Wildan more confused to express his heart all along. 

"Zoy, say something!" lirih Wildan is full of emphasis because she expects honest answers from Zoya. 

"There's nothing I need to say, Gus! I think it's all clear." said Zoya, trying to calm down even though she had to withhold her tears. 

"I've loved you for a long time, Zoy! I thought you had the same feelings for me, so I decided to choose the right time to propose! " That sentence just slid, long ago the feeling of wildan for Zoya was cramped on her chest. But, now it was not only stifling even it felt like a dagger that had already rained down, piercing the heart of his own heart. 

"Can I finish my job? " asked Zoya, but did not get any answers from Wildan, it seems clear the man with a sharp nose was still stunned to hear the news given by Zoya. 

"Zoy...! " That heavy voice stopped Zoya's steps that were already at the door. 

"Have you ever had the same feelings as me?" At once Zoya shook her head weakly without having to look back. Spring, he stepped out with a small run towards the toilet. 

His feet were weaving fast, towards the narrow space he was aiming for to hide his cries. The little body just smashed into the toilet door and then locked it from the inside. 

His cry that had been held since earlier finally broke, making his stuffing already uncontrollable again. Wildan's Love Statement even made his heart even more painful. His heart seemed to stop beating making his whole body feel weakened, at this time it felt like just breathing he felt very difficult. 

Zoya's Pov

My chest hurts when I hear all the confessions about how you feel, Gus! Not because I don't have the same feelings but because it's useless we express each other's feelings. 

I don't know how long this feeling has been crystallizing in my heart, let only me and God know. It is my destiny to live it all. Learning to accept God's destiny and make peace with the situation, may be much better. Who are we? We can only try, then we have no right to our lives including our feelings. 

Author pov

Zoya's whispers still filled the narrow space, until several splashes of water soaked all over her face. 

"Zoya..be patient! " he muttered monologuing with himself. 

After feeling her sobbing subside, Zoya stared for a moment at her face in the mirror and tidied up her hijab before she came out of the toilet. 

Whatever happens, the girl whose heart and feelings have been broken is now trying to look good. His footsteps brought him back into his office 

"Zoy, Gus Wildan was looking for you, he asked me to take your place and hand you this envelope! What's the matter, Zoy?" nila asked as she looked at Zoya's face and Wildan's unusual attitude. 

"I'll resign, Nile!" lirih Zoya makes Nila no less surprised. But immediately Zoya clenched her index finger on the lips so that Nila did not make a sound. 

"Why? " nilla muttered half a whisper, she knew that Zoya was in desperate need of a job because she was not the child of a wealthy family. 

"Here you go, let me show you what your job is! So we don't go home too late. " Take Zoya to distract Nilla. 

###

That afternoon, when the entire office of the Nurul Jannah Foundation was deserted, someone was still standing by the window staring at the girl who was walking out the gate with her best friend Nilla. You can see the sadness hidden behind his face. 

The shady eyes also glazed when he realized that his gaze was now only to release the girl he had been craving for all this time to belong to someone else. 

If time could be repeated, perhaps he would choose to take it first. 

Binding the angel of his heart in a sacred bond in the name of God. 

"May you be happy, Zoy." muttered Wildan amidst the disappointment that rose in his heart. 

Seriate....