The Point of Time in the Heart of Gendhis
The Heart of Alvin
Today I got a tip from Ms. Diah that Gendhis is at graduation. Without an invitation from him I would come to the venue of the event. In addition to wanting to give a word to Gendhis, I intend to return to Rendra's father's family and try to get closer.
Not forgetting I bought flowers at the flower shop I passed by there. Arriving at the venue turned out the event was finished, the graduates and graduates on the exit of the building. I tried to find Gendhis among the crowd. In vain I have seen from afar, when I approached I saw a man kneeling with flowers and a ring, as if he were proposing to Gendhis. If you look around him who cheered happy sign he received the proposal of the man.
After seeing the unpleasant drama this afternoon I decided to go to the parking lot to take the car out of the yard of the multipurpose building. After being away from the venue of the show, I decided to go to the beach to ease my emotions. Up the beach I took a pebble to throw into the sea by shouting aaaaaaaaa..aaaaa. After getting tired of screaming I sat on the cliff contemplating the events that made me emotional.
This is how the name of loving and struggling itself ends up hurting too. I realized that I was wrong because I could not control my feelings for him when I currently have a lover who has accompanied me for many years but my love began to erode after meeting Gendhis. Bang Emrick once reminded me to stay away from Gendhis so that I would go back to the person who loved me too but I didn't care because I couldn't forget Gendhis.
First Love back is beautiful because of the familiar that comes like coming home after years of wandering. When I find the girl I've been looking for, I hope she'll take me back and love me but expectations don't match reality. He should be the one I have, not someone else. You have the heart that Gendhis did not give me a chance to enter your heart.
Angry, disappointed, sad and want to strip away that I feel right now. Why did your Gendhis break your promise. I took off while throwing pebbles back to the sea. If I had found you sooner maybe you weren't engaged. I am indeed a stupid man Gendhis only hope but do not act just rest me with the destiny that comes my way.
Now you're getting a lot harder to hold on to. Is that what Gendhis is wrong? I don't think it was my stupidity that made you ignore me. Now extinct already aaaaaa..aaaa.I screamed out my anger again. Gendhis forgive me, don't go away from me, I regret my stupidity, this neutrality starts to condense again feeling the turmoil of the heart that hurts.
Krucuk.krucuk my stomach sounds a sign asking to be filled. I didn't realize it was eight o'clock at night I was still at the beach. After getting tired of monologuing myself I got up to the food stall near the beach. I chose the prawn saos menu padang and cha kangkung. Actually I have no appetite but I try to force it not to hurt later. After dinner, I decided to go home.
Tonight I decided to go home to my parents instead of the usual apartment. Papa who opens the door is astonished to see me disheveled.
"Alvin where did your brother say you didn't go to the office?".
"Pa Beach, Alvin rest first Pa" I entered the room without waiting for Papa's answer.
Papa bobbles his head at the behavior of his youngest child and then continues his delayed rest. In the morning at seven, Mama woke me up because I was waiting for breakfast I did not come out of the room.
"Alvin, wake up baby, it's noon, don't you work?".
"Males Ma, today Alvin wants permission not to go to work".
"Tumben ga usually males to the office, usually spirit" said Mama.
"May you please give me some time alone".
"If there's a story problem, son, don't be a snitch yourself".
I didn't answer Mom's question. Because I was silent, Mama was irritated and finally came out on her own. Right now I'm still lazy to meet Gendhis. The afternoon after the shower I was getting ready to leave. When I opened the door, Mama was sitting on the sofa in the living room and watching me who looked moody and no passion for life.
"Alvin eat first son, Mama cook your favorite caramel chicken".
"Sorry Ma, Alvin ain't hungry".
"Alvin go first Ma".
After saying goodbye to Mama I decided to go see my friend a businessman. Until his office I'm welcome to go in with his secretary. We're used to meeting her secretary.
"Hi Bro Tumben working hours here?" ask Amir.
"Again Males nih Mir, ga morale".
"Is there a problem with Tiarakah?"amir.
"Lately I've forgotten her Mir".
"Wiih is usually always the two, lest there be a new scene, huh?"
"I was confused Mir felt with Tiara slowly eroded yes".
"Not Tiara all this time like love died with you?".
"Ga knows that ever since I met Genhis my first love has been lost to Tiara".
"CLBK apparently, obviously Vin grass neighbors instead of greener".
"Damn you, not empathy, it's hurting me".
"I don't like Vin the impression you're a plin plan guy, Tiara less what's tried all this time?".
"I think forget about Gendhis because you and he have their own lives".
"Ga can Mir I started to fall in love with Gendhis, I once promised to marry him later".
"I asked her to wait but she was engaged to another guy" I said softly.
"Vin, obviously he chose other men instead of waiting for the obvious".
"Haloo have you been looking for him all this time? don't you?".
"You're just based on fate not trying to find him, so don't blame him for choosing the man present rather than the shadow of the past".
"Finding where Mir is, I forgot his home address".
"You're getting here more and more stupid Vin, now there will be social media like FB, twitter, why don't you benefit if you really want to love your past".
I was intrigued by Amir's words, what was said was really why I did not think to look on social media, rice has become porridge. Maybe this is what made Gendish ignore me. Whether to talk to Gendhis with another guy, I'm monologuing again.
"Vin kok daydreaming, already now come back with Tiara so you do not regret later, love what you have now".
After I confided to Amir I decided to go to a cafe in the area in Malioboro to hang out for a moment tired of the problems I face today. After being satisfied hanging out I try to walk in uncertain directions and goals, where my own feet do not know. My steps came to a halt when there was music on stage singing endless sad songs.
/When approaching/
/Your happy days/
/I chose 'to be silent in my sepiku/
/When they laugh over my pain/
/About my love/
/Which has left me/
/I don't care/
/This is my life/path/
/It's me, you're my heart/
/Save it in the bottom of your heart/
/Not left for myself/
/Ending all chest flavors/
/The purpose of staying endless story/
/I'll stop hoping/
/Separture this time for me/
/Will be an endless sad story/
/Yeah/
/Wo wo u/
/When they laugh over my pain/
/About my love/
/Which has left me, yeah/
/I don't care/
/Really don't care/
/This is my life/path/
/It's me, you're my heart/
/Save it in the bottom of your heart/
/Not left for me, well/
/Ending all chest flavors/
/The purpose of staying endless story/
/I'll stop/
/Stop wishing/
/Separture this time for me/
/Will be an endless sad story/
/Oh yes/
/Unended sadness/
/Wo oo/
/Live goals endless stories/
/I'll stop/
/Hopefully/
/Separture this time for me/
/Will be an endless sad story/
/ Yeah!/
/Out endless sadness/
/Na na na yeah/
/Oh/
/Out endless sadness/
/O oo oo/
/Sad that sad that/
/Untiled/
/Au-ye ye ye/
/O oo oo/
/oo oo oo/
/Out endlessly sad./
I was speechless a thousand languages heard the sound of Glenn Fredly's caver song, the lyrics were so striking in the chest, almost the same as I feel right now. I don't feel my tears coming out. As time goes on will our love connect to Gendhis, I find it very difficult but I don't want to give up at this time. Before the curved yellow janur I could corner, I smiled smirk with my thoughts.
