The Hate His Touch

My Old Life

I slammed the door of my room as I walked into the room and locked it. I don't know what's wrong with me so I have to live in the middle of disgusting people like them. I sighed tiredly while wiping away the tears that were dripping down my cheeks. There was actually pain in the corner of my heart, but I ignored that feeling. I'm tired of living like this. Maybe the only way I have to make a decision that can free me from this. Maybe that way I can also bury the pain in my heart that is getting harder and harder for me to bear. I tried to remove their shadows from my life. I don't want to get caught up in this pain.

I left early in the morning to avoid Albert. Before going to the office I decided to go to my parents' grave. I gave mommy's favorite red rose. I put the beautiful rose on her grave. I smiled at mommy. I don't know if mommy can see what daddy's doing as long as he's not around. I feel like my heart is squeezed when I remember the photos - the photos of your daddy's intimacy with ******* that. I close my eyes holding back my tears. Hatred filled my body. I hate it when someone hurts mommy. I slowly got up and approached daddy's grave. I stared at the tomb full of hurt and anger. I put a black rose in daddy's grave.

"You broke off our relationship, but why do you call me your only daughter? Why is it that when death picks you still have time to ignore me and torment me with your will? I never expected or asked to be your son. I also did not expect to get a little of your treasure. If I could be honest, I'd be happier if you dumped me on the street. Until all is revealed, I will endure in your place. I'd rather rehab than live with that demon. I didn't expect your approval because you never cared about my life as long as mommy died, Mr. Evelyn. From now on I will remove your name from my name. I hope you calm down there" I said coldly and walked away.

Raindrops started to fall as I left. The speck of rain was like the cry of a daddy who heard my decision to reject the way of life he chose for me. I don't care because I've had enough of the pain she's been in when she wiped mommy out of her life. I still remember clearly his meaning and his decision to remove my name from his surname. I wipe my tears rough.

***

I am getting immersed in my work. The maid chief and Mr. Robert seemed increasingly worried about seeing me get busier. Mr. Robert is actually a daddy's best friend who bears as a daddy's lawyer. All this time he was the one who became an outpouring of daddy's heart. Mr. Robert doesn't look old at 35. He looks like a 25-year-old man. All this time Mr. Robert tried to replace my daddy, but not infrequently he looked pale when he saw me angry.

"Happy birthday" said Mr. Robert, breaking my daydream.

I looked at him who was smiling widely while carrying a cake and a large package. I still look at him flat. Mr. Robert put the package on the sofa and approached me while carrying a beautiful cake towards me.

"Let's make a request and blow out the candle" softly said Mr. Robert.

I received the cake and took the candles without blowing them. I put the candle in a glass of water.

"I've not done that, sir. Thanks for the cake," I said flatly.

"Hey you're now 17 years old. Girls will usually celebrate this moment. You should also celebrate this moment" said Mr. Robert.

"The girls are different from me. They have no responsibility whatsoever on their shoulders. As for me, hundreds of employees are depending on me. They didn't experience anything terrible like me either. They do not feel the taste of being dumped by their own father for the sake of*******cheap. Anyway, I promised I wouldn't celebrate. I just pray that all my requests are granted" I said.

"Ana, forgive your daddy. He didn't mean to."

"I will never forgive someone who has hurt you" I said, cutting off Mr. Robert.

"All right, I give up, what do you want? Maybe I can give it," said Mr. Robert sincerely.

I looked at him while looking at him blankly.

"Death," I said successfully made it stiff.

I could only smile cynically at her paled. I'm sure he didn't expect my answer.

***

I came home late after spending time doing all my work. I walked slowly to the garden and saw the red roses that began to grow in the place of mommy's favorite red roses. I know the chief maid keeps planting red roses for me. I just stared at the rose in front of me. I flinched as I felt someone holding me from behind.

I stomped his hand violently, but Albert locked both hands in my stomach so that I could not escape. Albert kissed my neck gently.

"Detach," I said coldly.

"What do you want for a gift?" ask Albert.

I was silent for a moment to hear Albert's question. Albert, who realized that I had stopped rebelling in his arms, turned my body to face him. I looked down at my shoes.

"You want a gift from me?" ask Albert again enthusiastically.

"You want to give it to me?" I asked to go back without looking at it.

"Yes, honey. I will definitely give anything for you" Albert said excitedly.

"Don't touch me, that's what I'm asking. This goes on forever," said I looking at her who was looking at me gently.

I saw the look on his face that turned even colder upon hearing my request. I removed myself from his grip and walked past him.

"One more thing, get you out of my life!" cold spoken.

***

I entered my walk in closet. I opened the closet that stores mommy's clothes. I slowly walked into the closet and closed the door. This is what I do when I have my birthday.

I always go into mommy's closet and sleep there. I could feel mommy hugging me by inhaling the scent of mommy's shirt. I slowly started to fall asleep smiling as I imagined mommy hugging me. A single tear began to fall down my cheek, but it did not open my eyes. I don't want to lose this moment.

"I miss you, Mom," I said.

I always do this on my birthday. Only in this way do I feel the presence of mommy.

I opened my eyes slowly. Then I closed my eyes to adjust my vision. I feel very comfortable at this moment. Maybe I'm still in my dream. I feel someone hugging him on my body. I moved closer and deeper and buried my face in the chest of the person who was holding me. I squeezed out the clothes that the person who was hugging me used. I sobbed as I felt a caress on my back. My sobs are getting louder as I remember my old life with mommy and daddy.

"Mom .. dad," I said.

I closed my eyes while crying. I'm tired of living like this. I just want my old life or death. I'm tired of having to face everything myself. I just want to stay with my parents. I just want to hold them.

***

I opened my eyes and found no one next to me. I stared blankly at the side of my bed that looked empty. I don't know who moved me here. I slowly got up and stared at the sky from the glass wall in my room. I slowly got up and decided to get ready to go to the office.