The End of the Waiting for Love and Love

I miss

At nightfall, as usual I told the family by phone. To just ask what news or cooking you made that day. Sometimes my mother also asked me what activities I did on campus. Even though that week I had not done anything other than college or to the library with my new best friend, Fita.

I've also introduced Fita to mom and dad. They were happy because I finally had a friend who matched my personality. Given the time I was close enough to Ega to be friends for a long time, and my parents also know Ega far enough.

Ega is enjoying her life as a worker. Occasionally Ega asked me how I was doing via chat, because Ega was quite busy with her work. Not long ago, he also said that he could not continue college. Because his time is spent overtime.

But I always pray for the best for my best friend, so that he becomes a successful person. And if one day Ega and I meet again, we can share a story about the life that we've been through.

In the midst of my busy life being a freshman and having new friends, sometimes I also miss my old friends in High School. But if flashback to High School why there is only one person attached to my mind. I can't keep remembering the mass, even if it's beautiful and memorable. Still I still feel tight in the chest if I remember those memories.

I don't know... If you remember the days of Auto High School I remember those memories too. Someone who still lives in my mind.

It's been a few months since he told me to stop expecting it. Sometimes I wonder what he did in college?

He may already be a senior at his college, has a lot of friends and a lot of activities. But to just ask the news first I became reluctant. I was afraid to disturb him and make him uncomfortable.

All I can do is monitor her social media, but she's rarely active. Only occasionally did he give "like" to my posts. Does he still remember me?

***

Umar News.

After a few months we were close, it turned out that our relationship was only limited to communication via chat or SMS only. Meeting him seemed impossible for both of us.

During my stay in the room, he also rarely reported first. Sometimes if I post something on social media, then he makes a comment. But he didn't teach me personally. I who was still feeling selfish at that time, did not want to tell him first.

"Prestigiousness... The girls first time was ngabarin" I thought.

I was just confused by his attitude, why he didn't contact me personally while he was always active on social media.

He used to call me every night, but the last few days he never paid attention.

Looking at her attitude like that, I felt that connecting with her was just a waste of time and no seriousness. It's the same with me, aka no girlfriend.

Maybe because at first I did not like him, so I became bodo to him. I realized that I was not a good partner, because there was never a moment when he needed to be. Especially when I was with him undergoing LDR.

That night I tried to contact him first, to clarify our relationship.

SMS message :

"Assalamualaikum.." delivered.

A few moments later he just replied, I almost fell asleep waiting for his reply.

"Walaikumsalam.. tumben SMS first?" the answer.

"Hemm. sorry.. Not bother?"

"Well, what's wrong?"

"There's nothing at all. But how strange it is, why have you been calling me so rarely lately?"

"I'm sorry I'm so busy, I went home from my futsal rehearsal the night went on. It just fell asleep..."

"Oh that.. It's okay, take care of your health..."

"Yes.. How are you going to college?"

"Alhamdulillah smoothly..."

"Have a new theme dong there, saucy not the winner?"

"Of course, the guy must be handsome dong"

"I don't know, it's normal to be.." I replied.

In fact, the guys at my college are mostly top visuals. If I say "bull" he must think I'm going to macem.

"Then anyway? I saw your picture yesterday on FB, there's a handsome guy"

"Yes maybe..."

"You deket?"

"My classmates..."

"Cieee.. at home dong class there is a handsome guy"

Why is he suddenly so "chengin" me anyway....

"Why the hell? When you're jealous?"

"Well, I also have a girl friend..."

"Because?"

"Yeah can be a photo together with girls, but afraid to be suspected of you"

"Hemm I never suspected you... Who would you play with please.."

"Whoa, you don't love me. How do you want to be jealous?"

For a long time he was getting into trouble. Time just because of a photo with a boy friend, I suspected of cheating?

"sorry. I never said love to you. I was afraid that what I said was not comparable to my attitude. But after I commit to you, I try to be loyal to you. But why did you suddenly get your attitude towards me?

I'm sorry I wasn't the best for you all this time."

Reply annoyed.

Then he replied with care.

"Sorry doang. But the truth is, you have no feelings for me. Now you don't have to bother being loyal. Please take another guy. I assume we're done."

"Oh so after a few months of our relationship, you just want to intimidate me? I think I was wrong to think you were sincere. I thought you were trying to fix our relationship. Yes thanks for the suspicion so far, I never cheated or deket the other guy. Because for defense you are already grateful, but gapapa lupain aja all because it does not mean also for you "

"I never felt defended, you never existed for me. How I don't suspect"

"Yes, once again sorry for not being the best and not as expected. I'm willing to be cut off, suspected, please rate me as you please"

That night I was really disappointed, but not so deep. It might be my fault for easily accepting him into my life. I was in too much of a hurry to open my heart, and in the end I knew he wasn't the best.

I was disappointed but only for a moment and in the end I felt free. No need to guard the hearts of others.

Some time after the break up, I saw the social media of Umar who had been dating another girl. But really the news is not a burden on my mind, I just know enough. It turns out that she was already preparing to fall in love with someone else. I was just a stepping stone for him. He easily found a replacement.

While I just enjoy my solitude by busying myself.

Goodbye to love for a moment !!

You don't deserve me to remember 👻